I noticed that he wanted to be in control of the whole thing. He would always rush to go wean the animals and seeing how i have other things to do, i would be the last person to drag for work. I let him have it. They don't pay me extra for doing it, and it doesn't count for anything, it's just work. So yesterday, i went upstairs to put some breeding pairs together, when i was done i noticed there were hamsters that needed to be weaned and i weaned them. Simple. When i got down to the lab, as a courtesy (i don't have to) i told WBB that i had weaned some animals. He asked a couple of questions about it, i answered and that was that. I was in the lab for the whole day yesterday, he didn't say anything. The same thing today, he was acting normal around me, talking and acting like everything was fine. He even asked me to take his time sheet for him when i took mine upstairs. Imagine my surprise when i got home and saw this email.
So next time you feel the urge to wean animals cuz you think they just have to be weaned, please don't. I have it under control and I was saving those ones you did the other day for today or tomorrow. Those guys were only 18 days old today so that's fine to wait until tomorrow. That way I can do them all and not just leave the one cage born the 13th that needed one or two more days. AND I was saving females to be added to the group of 5 I did the the day before. it's supposed to be MY job so next time either tell me before you do it or just leave them cuz I probably was up there before you and left them for a reason.
NO hi, hello or bye. I was so pissed when i got this becos I was with this dude all day in the lab today and he acted like everything was fine. I can't stand phoniness. I can't. Why smile at me when u have an issue with me? Did it take him 2 days to summon the courage to tell me this? My initial response wasn't nice, so i waited 30mins to try to calm down, but as is the case with me my anger only increases with time until i do something about what's making me mad. So i tell my brother about it and as i'm talking i'm getting more pissed. So i sent our research scientist an email asking her to clarify who's job it is and telling her i did not appreciate getting that kind of email from WBB. Yes, i forwarded the email to her. Then I sent him this email.
You saw me yesterday and today and you did not bother to say anything to me. I would have preferred to have this discussion in person but since you chose this medium, i will oblige you. The next time you feel the need to address me in such a tone, please suppress it cos i'm not your subordinate. The last time i checked, weaning was my job not yours. I was specifically assigned to do the weaning by Dr. XYZ. I let you do it cos u wanted to. So please don't act like i'm invading your territory. All you needed to have done was simply tell me that you were saving those animals to be weaned for later. There was no need for such a nasty email. I really don't appreciate it at all cos it's not that serious.
When i called my friend (i really needed to vent) she said maybe he was joking and that i'm touchy. OK! So i sent her his email and she agreed that i didn't overreact. Maybe it's just me. Probably a lot of people would not get mad at such an email, but i just found it offensive. He was rude (no hi or hello) and i felt he was addressing me in a condescending manner. I'm pissed at myself cos i couldn't study cos i was so pissed. Maybe it's that time of the month (whatever that means) but i'm very high strung and edgy at the moment and i'm not in the mood for bullshit from anybody.
UPDATE
The dude told our research scientist he was surprised that's why he sent me that email. Surprised about what? Anyway, i told her why i weaned the animals which was becos he had basically overcrowded a cage. He worked at one end of the lab and i worked at the other end. He never tried to talk to me and i wasn't interested in speaking with him becos i didn't want to create a scene as i didn't think i could have a level headed conversation with him at that point. Funny how as soon as i leave the lab, he sends me another email which i get when i get home.
I didn't say anything before because I didn't realize the problem until yesterday and you weren't here so I couldn't have the talk in person and today was going to be a busy day and once again you aren't here to have the talk so here we go again. You haven't weaned in like two months and I didn't want to do it I was told to do it. I would have told you to leave them if you had told me were going to do it before you actually did it. I'm not a mind reader. So if you want to be all offended and play the stupid silent treatment over this then that's fine.
The last statement made me see red. First of all, how professional is that? Secondly, i didn't know i was supposed to go out of my way to say hi to him. He saw me in the lab just the way i saw him, i didn't hear him say hi. I called the lab and spoke to the research scientist as soon as i got the email. She said she was going to do something about it but at this point i don't trust her. So i sent him this email and trust me when i say i had to restrain myself.
Do not ever use that word stupid with me ever again. I was not abusive with you and you have no reason to use that word with me. If this is how you speak to other people, do not try that nonsense with me. Did u try to speak to me today? What stupid silent treatment are u referring to?I bet it's easy to hide behind a computer and be nasty. For the rest of the time you are here, don't wean anymore animals, i don't need
Then i sent an email to the research scientist telling her that ever since she told him to help me it has been like we were both jostling for who would get there first to do the weaning. I told her that i let him do it cos he's leaving soon and i didn't think there would be any need to drag work with him. I wasn't going to tell her that but i can see that he's going to try to make it seem like i abandoned the job. He is such a stupid person. Maybe the fact that he's going to med school in august has gotten to his head and he has to develop his ego b4 he leaves. Idiot.
Pele o, sting. He was being passive-aggressive and it's particularly annoying since he saw you after you had done it and could have let you know that he had a problem with the weaning when you did him the courtesy of letting him know it had been done.
ReplyDeleteTone of the email: definitely rude and condescending.
Mmm, bitchy guys, my favourite kind to tear down and destroy. I would have sent a mail so venomous...sigh... but I would have probably felt bad that I hadn't been the 'bigger' person later. You handled it well, jare!
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you handled your self....what nonsense, this guy is a goat(hiss). Hopefully he got the maessage and will not try this with you ever.
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath though honey, don't let him get to you so much. Not worth it!!
psssh! He was just showing off his writing skills (or lack thereof), das all. That is the same mumu that will be someone's boss one day. You handled the situation well. People need to be checked when they feel like they can step up to you with some crap.
ReplyDeleteI think you handled the whole issue very well and you should feel proud of yourself :o)
ReplyDeleteI can give you a whole psychological explanation of why he is probably acting that way, but what it comes down to is his insecurities. he obviously feels intimidated by you.
Don't get so worked up, he's not worth the effort or the time you spend being angry.
first off, document everything. By everything, I mean your responsibilities, outline what you do at the lab because come review time, I can easily see how that manipulative bastid will short change you.
ReplyDeleteNever let you guard down around him ever again. These types are probably drinking wine with the ogas and stabbing you in the back at the same time.
Watch out!!
PS: GREAT JOB getting someone else involved, and I hope when you sent the other lady the email explaining your side you were sure to copy him. Because I won't be suprised if he also copied one of the ogas on the email he sent you, probably got confirmation from them before he was that bold enough to send the email in the first place.
Anyway. Pele o.
How is your nephew doing??
ha
ReplyDeleteu handled it quite well
wow...its amazin how adults act like lil kids! he seems like an ass...i like how u put him in his place!
ReplyDeletesorry jare..ive had a similar thing happen to me..ull be aight :)
ReplyDeleteYes, you definitely did the right thing by forwarding the email. Forward the second one, and inform Dr. XYZ. That guy was gunning for someone from day 1 and he chose you. Please don't let any overconfident, misogynistic idiot give you a do over. He's a flying rats behind.
ReplyDeleteI think people can be difficult to deal with when they harbour jealousy. Na over sabi dey worry the guy. Dont mind him jo. But wait o, you get to breed animals for experiments...omo I bow o. Scientist!
ReplyDeleteI would have reacted the same way you did!!! Is this guy a racist or something? Does he think is superior to you? Nonsense.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby thinks you shd be careful with the dude cos he might be a serial killer (this might be overstating the point cos he watches horror movies and reads horror novels). But be careful nonetheless. Know whow to defend yourself if worse come to worse though I pray not.
Try and relax my dear and keep stinging them (lol)