Some thots

I was reading this post by jarrai (Oya, go and read it but make sure u come back o!) and that is what i've wanted to do for years and i've not been very successful at it. There are many times in my life where it was obvious that i needed to get rid of some people who were dead weight in my life but i just didn't have the heart to do it. I try but they keep coming back and can't just shut them out.

Last yr i wasted over 8 months of my life talking to this dude who i knew would never date, i wasn't attracted to him, he was a liar (I can't stand liars and this dude always tried to justify his lies by saying he didn't want to lose me). I finally stopped talking to him in november, only for this dude to call me on new year's day saying he wants to be friends with me and i just couldn't say no. Finally, guess who cut who out of their life? He did!! He just stopped talking to me one day and when i would call him he would never pick up. I wasn't even sure what was going on, until i figured out the idiot was ignoring me. When he didn't want to speak to me anymore he cut me off COMPLETELY. That's something i wanted to do for months and months but i couldn't cos i didn't want to hurt his feelings, at the end did he care about my feelings?

Same thing with my abusive ex. I knew from the first week that something wasn't right. By the end of the second week i was sure i shouldn't be with that type of person. Dude hung up on me just for contradicting him in the first week. The excuse was that he was stressed. I stuck with that nonsense for 3 months until he finally hit me.

Then there's my friend i talked about a couple of months ago, after a month of not speaking to each other she called me and the first thing out her mouth is "Did u miss me?". I was speechless. If it was up to me, i would not be friends with her ever again, just becos she doesn't accept me for who i am, she wants me to be the way she wants me to be and she acts like she knows everything. Not only that she's a jealous human being, i didn't know she was that kind of person until she made a comment regarding her best friends. She actually told me that if her best friend got married before her she would be very pissed. I was shocked. Why would u be pissed? She's only 24 but she refuses to look at wedding websites becos she doesn't have a boyfriend and she wants to get married so bad. What kind of thing is that? When one of my best friends got married in dec, i was beyond excited. I have already called dibs on being god-mother of her first child. Little stuff like that just made me know that she's not a good fit for me as a friend. So she called me this month, i didn't really want to talk to her but i did and i was so uncomfortable cos i felt fake. We talked 2 more times after that and i decided i didn't want to torture myself anymore. She has called me twice since and i didn't take the calls and i have felt so guilty about it ever since.

Now this stalker dude is another one i have to watch out for cos he's sneaky. I got an offline message asking me if i was still mad and if he could call me cos he misses me so bad. This was after i told him i never wanted to deal with him anymore. I guess he took that to mean, i need a break to cool off.

I need to learn how to completely cut people off without going back cos these pple don't need to be in my life. Deleting numbers doesn't work, i have a good memory. I guess i need to find it from within me to just let pple go.