Boys are Gross!

Seriously. No offense to the guys..... well, to be honest, offense to the guys. I don't care cos it's true. Boys are just gross, if not why then do most guys feel the need to talk about shit and shitting? Not only that, they also think it's cool to belch and fart (mess, gas or pass gas, shoot the breeze or whatever euphemism u choose to adopt), whenever or where ever they please. The things i've put up with all in the quest for "love" chei!

Let me tell u guys about the Jamo that i was talking to and his messing (farting) issues. Within the first week of knowing the dude and hanging out, this guy was comfortable enough to start farting in front of me. To be honest, i don't think he was ever uncomfortable in the first place. I doubt the thot ever crossed his mind that this chic is not my sister, or mother and she might not appreciate having to hear and inhale my waste product. B4, i could say Jack Robinson, the boy don mess, then he would have the audacity to say "Pardon" pronounced "parrr-don!". The one wey vex me pass, was the day we were eating at his house and right in the middle of chopping (eating) the food, oh boy don mess, dey say "parr-don!" I was so disgusted, e be like say make i slap am. Food no gree me chop again. I just thot that was so rude, like seriously. That's just gross. Right in the middle of a meal?!!!!!

Then there was this other dude that did his own all the way from naija. Just imagine. We are talking on the phone one blessed morning and he says he's in the toilet. Next thing i know, he's like listen to this...... what do i hear, loud disgusting farting sounds. Christ! WTF?!! What was that for? I no say make e no shit. It's bad enough that he's doing it and talking to me, but did he have to do that?

Then there's this idiot at my lab, that just belches out of the blue. Lunch time has long come and gone, but he will be belching like a fool. I don't mind light belches that only the person next to u can hear, but when the whole lab can hear ur disgusting belch leaving us to wonder what animal you just consumed, that is so not cool. Besides, i know that you can control ur belch. Ah ah! Wetin?! Saying Excuse me doesn't cut it, not when u do it all the time. Just gross!

Which brings me to the question that i have been dying to ask. To all u married chics, and chics in relationships, how or when do u get comfortable enough to start farting in front of ur guy/husband? Serious oh! I know pple that can't go to the bathroom (shit) when their guy is in the house or close by. There are some days when i have serious gas issues, and i can't imagine having a guy lying next to me, cos i think we would be broken up or divorced come morning. Now, i have no problem doing any of all that in front of my brother, but he doesn't count. Oya, make una nack me tory!