Hairless

A couple of people have questioned the veracity of my assertion that melu melu means cow in hausa(I bet u didn't think i could use big words. Ha!).Well, i wouldn't bet my life on it. I've always known melu melu meant cow, i never bothered to figure out the origin of the word. I asked my mom who speaks Hausa fluently and she said it's a hausa word. So that's how i know, ok pple! Don't be questioning her majesty like that. She might get mad and say off with ur heads.


On to the topic of the day. Ladies, this question is for u and i expect nothing but the honest TRUTH. No white lie, pink lie or blue lie! How many of u used to shave ur legs and armpits before u left naija? For those ladies that are in naija, how many of u shave (ur legs especially) and if you do how often do u shave? This issue has become a bone in my throat and it was made very apparent a few nights ago. I'll tell u how/why.


Now before i came to the US (if i had gone to Jand now, i would have said b4 i janded. So since America is Yankee, can i say before i yanked?!!! LOL), i only used to shave my pits, and that wasn't even regularly oh! I'm one of those hairy pple both on my arms and legs, but it never occurred to me to SHAVE. The very first time shaving legs came to my notice was in 2000 when my sister came to naija after being away for 10yrs. She had this shaving gel thingy and some razors. I say wetin be this (what is this?). Still, i didn't start shaving then oh. I didn't see the need. No girl i knew in naija shaved her legs. I would see chics who were 10X hairier than me on campus with skirts and hairy legs. To be honest, it wasn't even something worth noticing.



Fast forward to Yankee, i come here and everyone is going crazy in their quest to become hairless. Bikini wax, anal wax, brow wax, front wax, back wax, anything wax, electrolysis, name it, people have jumped on that bandwagon. The hairs on my legs are thick and curly, so if i don't shave it's not a pretty sight (anymore, b4 i liked it. That's was just the way it was). The first couple of times i shaved, i was like, what's the point of all this. I would let it grow back because i was more comfortable with hair on my legs. I felt weird with hairless legs. I always wore pants anyway, so it wasn't like pple were looking at me crazy. Na only me dey see my legs. Then i got used to shaving and slowly started getting uncomfortable with hair on my legs. That one no do me, I come crase carry go shave the hair on my arms. Well, i naired it off! I felt like a plucked chicken. I had these weird ass goose bumps all over my arms. It was just disgusting. That's when i said, fuck u hairless female country. I will keep my hairy arms, thank u very much! I have never shaved my arms since that fateful day in 2003



Now shaving my legs is another issue. I have never gotten into the habit of doing that regularly. The only problem is that i now feel disgusted whenever i see my own hairy legs. See wahala. Does that prompt me to shave, NO! I only shave when it has become a forest or i need to wear something that would show my legs which is not very often. So i have been happily carrying on this practice for years. A couple of days ago there i was in all my bushy/hairy glory (one of the benefits of being single), although it had gotten to the point where i was starting to get irritated by my legs but i really couldn't be bothered to shave. That is until i had a nightmare about it. I dreamt that i had to go somewhere at the last minute and i had nothing else to wear but shorts. So there i was out in public with my hairy legs. What kind of nonsense dream is that? What is really bothering me is the fact that i was worried about the hair on my legs enough to dream about it.


You know what is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO unfair? Guys get to go around with their hairy armpits and their hairy legs and hairy chests and hairy backs without it being an issue. That is so wrong on so many levels. The one that is killing me is the trend of bikini wax which suggests to me that men are now getting used to women without hair down there. So we are now all have to look like prepubescent kids just to conform (Well, another benefit of being single, i no follow una do that one). Hmmm...... Another question. Has anyone ever shaved down there and had to ENJOY the itch when the hair is growing back? That is torture on so many levels. I don't even want to talk about it cos i think i'm still suffering from post traumatic stress disorder because of that shit.

I really don't think it's fair that somebody somewhere decided that women should be hairless and men can walk around with their disgusting hairy armpits with no problem. We have all foolishly accepted that nonsense and i am so pissed that i have bought into that culture. Now i can't even stand to look at hair on my leg with wondering when i'll have time to shave. It's just plain stupid.

After all this ranting and raving will i stop shaving, no oh! I never said that. If u like say Sting said we shouldn't follow senseless trends and don't shave. You are on ur own oh!

P.S. I regret to announce the untimely death of Stingess. That shit did not fly. Re-introducing her royal highness, the one and only Sting of blogville. Thank u very much!