I'm about to get myself in trouble. There is a love triangle in the making and i have no idea how to extricate myself from this mess delicately. See, with Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i knew i liked him and wanted to be with him. With this other guy whom i've known since 2006 but on a hi-hello basis, i just want to be friends.
Me and my big mouth has basically been hounding New Guy and trying to force him out of his shell. It's easy to interpret that as me being interested in him. I never mentioned that i have a boyfriend which i didn't and i still don't as Mr. Don't fall in love with me hasn't proclaimed to me and to the world that he wants me to be his girl. Never mind that it's obvious that he does, he acts like he does but has refused to say the words.
Now, New Guy is interested. That's who i went to the aquarium with in case u were wondering. He got me this time piece thingy from one of the Harry Potter books (that he said is not a gift) because i said time is arbitrary or some bullshit like that. Then today he called to say he wanted to come down to where i was at work to say hey. We talked for a little bit, where he asked if i wanted to hang out at little 5 points sometime. After we finished talking, about an hour later he called the lab to say he was going to starbucks and he wanted to know if i wanted something from there. We've been talking since i got out of work. Problem is, i like him as a friend but i think he might be kind of interested in me. Which kind wahala be this?
How do i get out of this delicately. As far as he knows, there's no special guy in my life. I can't tell him i have a boyfriend because technically i don't but not so technically, i kind of do. I don't even know if i'm making sense. But to be honest, even if there was no Mr. Don't fall in love with me, i still wouldn't look at him that way cos i'm not attracted to him. He would make an awesome friend and i'm wondering how to let him know that that's all i want.
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"...i still wouldn't look at him that way cos i'm not attracted to him." that is the main point. You ain't interested.
ReplyDelete"...i'm wondering how to let him know that..." comm'n, you babes know just exactly how.
Gee, technically you really don't have a boyfriend right?
ReplyDeleteAnd besides you THINK he might be interested (New guy), as long as he hasn't asked or said anything concrete then you have nothing to worry about.
If he does ask, then you tell him as it is.
i trully really feel ur point..and its kinda hard for me to say cos u said if u didnt technivally have a guy..u wont still want him to be ur guy...so that kinda settles it..i can only say maybe u sld look at him..properly i mean see into him as much as you can b4 u decide u dont wanna hav him as ur guy..cos u dont wanna be kicking urself latter..did i make sense..? be gud..
ReplyDeleteJust tell him babes. An unpleasant task but beta in the long run.
ReplyDeleteok. U said u dont have a boyfriend yet and the guy as not come out and said that he wants to be with u. If he does, then u shld just come out and tell him that u're not interested cos u already said u dont like him that way anyway.
ReplyDeletei think you should chill abit before you assume you're practically dating hickey guy.
ReplyDeleteguys generally spell it out when they mean it, or not at all when they jus wanna have fun, or are scared to commit.
the other guy? jus be friendly until he makes it completely clear cuz guys tend to do that denial, 'why do you think im into you' thing.
Just out with it...tell him you like him just as a friend...shikena!
ReplyDeleteAnd berra tell him soonest b4 he starts investing too much!
Well i think you should just bring it up in a conversation and let him know that there is someone else other than him.
ReplyDeleteBut you dont want to jump to conclusion yet so...wait and see
Whats funny is that there rili is no dilemma... you know who you like and who you dont right?do it the old fashioned way and tell him you want to be friends before he starts getting too attached
ReplyDeleteIf hes ur friend, at least for now, maybe u shud start tellin him bout 'mr dont fall in love with me', just tell him like u wud tell any other friend..
ReplyDeleteIf hes ur friend, at least for now, maybe u shud start tellin him bout 'mr dont fall in love with me', just tell him like u wud tell any other friend..
ReplyDeleteI'd say you bring up the other guy u like when you are with this new guy you dont like so much.
ReplyDeleteYou understand?
U know, like just talk about him randomly without making it seem u are doing it deliberately. Alt least the new guy will know where ur heart is.
Grab?
-Technically, you don't have a boyfriend. Maybe you can mention Mr.New Guy to Mr.Don't fall in love with me casually. If he gets upset, maybe it will push him to define your relationship. If he doesnt, then enjoy dating cuz it means ur still in an open relationship!
ReplyDelete"As far as he knows, there's no special guy in my life"
ReplyDeleteAs far as he knows, there's no special guy in my life
And as far as you know is there a special guy in your life?
Sting..."Mr Don't fall in love with me" has not said anything o!
So don't assume anything at all!...somethings ought to be stated in BLACK and WHITE!!!
You know what they say:Assumption is the mother of all "Ef" ups!(excuse my french...no pun intended o!)
If he hasn't said jack...regardless of how you feel...nothing dey happen o!
Just take it one step at a time...if you want to be just friends with the other guy...why not...infact this is the best time to initiate a conversation in that direct(i.e he hasn't totally openly come out with his intentions)...you know like:you're such a great friend etc...if he doesn't get the message...kai...infact lemme just shut up now!
Hope you're good though.
OMG,mr new guy's going to get his heart broken in 3 months tops...
ReplyDeletewhy, u might ask...
he's gonna want to do the friend thing for the next 3 months, then he's gonna tell u he wants something serious...
then mr dont fall in love with me,wld have gotten serious...
then mr new guy gets dump
save him the misery,tell him he shdnt ask u out in 3 months, tell him to do it now, so u can dump him...
so we can all get along with our lives...lol
yup! i think you should start hinting that u r in some kind of a relationship...with Mr. DFILWM. The earlier you do it, the better cos i think that if you wait till too late, you might even lose the potentially awesome friend that he can be!
ReplyDeleteapparently going to the aquarium with him counted as a date to him
ReplyDeletelike everybody has said, hint that there's someone else, but if u say he's not a bf, that might cause him to double his efforts.
I'll say dont hang out as often with him.
am going to go on one piece of vital info here, which is dat even if there wasn't any mr don't-fall-in-love-with-me, u won't want mr new guy as a bf. CASE SETTLED. let him know dat u aren't interested in him in 'dat way' & forget abt weda u 'bf' has asked u out or not. cos frankly, as u said, daz immaterial in dis situation
ReplyDeletemaybe u shld mention "Mr dont fall in love with me" casually. Maybe he'll get the point.
ReplyDeleteYou need to come clean!
ReplyDeleteDefine ur relationship, let him know where he stands otherwise the guy will just perish in ur love for lack of knowledge...
Girl Im loving this ur new template!
ReplyDeleteI'm not encouraging you 2 lie...but lie if you have to! LOL. Babe, if New Guy asks you out and you don't know how 2 get out of it without breaking his heart, just tell him that your heart is sooooo broken from a previous relationship and right now, you're still healing.
ReplyDeleteThere. I said it.
So straight up ask him what he's looking for and if he says a relationship, tell him that you aint there and you see him as a friend. He might not appreciate it now but in the long run, he will and he won't list you as those 'Naija girls who stay playing games'.
ReplyDeletehmmmm....a hard one!but you knw?just let time tell...that's what i always do.if it gets worse,you would def get out,if it gets better alas!
ReplyDeletebeen a while,hope you good :P