Hellooo, I'm Bri ish!

I wan die, i wan die, i wan die! Chineke God in heaven. I no fit again. I know i said i might be laying this blog to rest but i just can't help this post. I have been fighting it since saturday, i no fit again.

My friend whom i've know since 1993, e don dey, we practically grew up in boarding school together, is here visiting from the UK and she wan use pho'ne take kill me. The british accent na die. I don think, think, think, i no see how i wan take tell am say make she sofry dey blow the accent. She doesn't talk like that to me oh! She knows better, i don dey warn am back in the day when we dey talk for phone. If she wan try am, i go say "wetin dey worry u? Na me u dey pho'ne for?" She has only been in the UK since 2004 oh, e never tay like that so this one no be natural accent at all.

We went to walmart to go look for a power adapter so she can charge her stuff, as soon as people come near us like this, this chic start to give them the british accent (na me she dey talk to oh, but that accent can't be for my benefit). I had to hold myself, make i no go talk something wey she go use take hate me. I just jejely waka leave am for there. E dey talk, i dey nod head dey waka go.

Yesterday, my friend took us out oh, na so she dey blow pho'ne. The yeye boy sef no be better person, he was just eating it up. Well, he's too akata to know any better. I wan die. It was just a little too much. By the way, did i tell u guys i was told by a dude at my job that he's sure i'm a ghetto Nigerian because his roommate who has just been in this country for 3 yrs sounds very polished/british which is so unlike how i sound. I just weak for the boy, talk no let me talk. I just siddon dey look am.

You see how these Nigerians go about forming accents and making the rest of us look bad. Which one be ghetto Nigerian again? I've been here since 2002 oh, and when i want to talk, i open my mouth and the words come out anyhow they come out. I no get power. This same akatanised friend of mine (the dude who took us out) has told me i have a hybrid accent and that he's sure it's the pidgin english that's spoiling my accent. I cussed him that day eh! Yet, i will call Nigeria and my friends will be shouting that my accent is changing, say who i think say i dey spree for. No be small thing. Let's not even talk about my naija friends that have never left the country that will be spreeing for ME when i call. Na me go come dey beg them say, abeg uncle chill for me na, which kind oyibo u dey speak. I wanna, wanna. That shit pisses me off.

I feel a little better now that this is off my chest. My friend is going to be here for a minute, so let's see how well i tolerate it before i yab her out of that nonsense, or maybe i should just mind my business like my akatanised friend warned me yesterday. Me and my friend that came to visit are not very close, and i have been accused of being blunt on numerous occasions by numerous people, so i might just leave matter for mattias. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but i'm highly irritated by the fake accent i no go lie.

P.S. I didn't say i was going to stop blogging. I'm still thinking of what direction to take. This blog is done (or maybe not!) Kisses, my sweets!