Lessons 101

I believe that life is a learning process and we need to learn from our experiences. I like to share anything that i have learned in the hopes that someone out there might find it useful. One thing that i have lived through and know for sure is that fear is an evil spirit and if u let it, it will take complete control over you. Besides dealing with my gastritis which was out of control when i first started school, i had to deal with one of my deans after i had pretty much struggled through medical genetics and failed the first anatomy exams. The one thing that meeting with my dean left me with was fear. I forgot who i was and what i was capable of and let the fear of failing take over my existence. You really don't retain much or can even fully concentrate when u are studying in fear. All i could hear in my head were the words of the dean.

I was in school all day and only went home to sleep, there were some days i even slept in school. I studied my butt off, but i was studying in fear. I lost my self confidence and forgot who i was. I made med school this huge obstacle in my eyes and it was a constant struggle. Sure enough, my first block grades were abysmal. I failed Devo and Biochem woefully. All that studying for nothing. The thing i was most afraid of had happened, and the dreaded second meeting with my dean was going to happen, whether i liked it or not. I went to that meeting and she straight up told me she doesn't think i will pass this semester. I'm not going to lie, she got me at my core.

Funny how since i started Med school, Joel Osteen's teachings have always come through for me. I get his daily messages and subscribe to his podcast. I heard this message he had "activating faith instead of fear" and something just clicked. I said to myself "na book dey do me like this?" Book? School is my thing. I have always been a "good student". Never, ever struggled in school, so why now of all times did i find myself at the bottom of my class? In this med school that i have been dreaming of attending since i was 6 yrs old!!!! I let that fear go and told myself as long as it was something that was written in a book and i was expected to learn, i was more than equal to the task.

I went from a 52 to an 88 in biochem, 66 to 98 in anatomy (got one question wrong in both lab and lecture), and a 64 to an 87 in devo. Fuck what u heard!!! It wasn't enough to dig me out of the hole i was already in, but i am freaking proud of myself. I'm a fighter and sometimes u have to fight for what u want. I'm still in the game and one day, i will graduate with that M.D degree and be the best freaking doctor i can possibly be. Might even be a much better doctor than i would have ever hoped to be cos of this experience.

Bottom line is never let fear take over your life and make you doubt your abilities. Know yourself!!!! Never let anyone tell u what u can or cannot do. Be confident enough in your abilities to be able to look past what is right in front of you and see what is ahead.

You live and you learn.