Relationship games

Sometimes in life, despite our best intentions or our best efforts things don't always turn out as we would like. Right now, it seems like nothing is going "right" in my life. I had to take a leave of absence from school and go back in August to start over, the only thing worse than that would have been if i was kicked out of school. So as sad as i tend to get at times, i have to remember that. It doesn't make me feel better, but i remember it.

My relationship is crap! That's my head talking. He's a fine, fine boy. That has always been my weakness. I too like fine boys. Then again, I'm not bad looking myself. One of our ongoing battles is who is better looking, cos as much as i get compliments, he gets compliments also. The worst is all those shameless girls on facebook. Idiots. Anyway, i often tell him when i'm pissed, which is often these days, that his face was wasted on him cos he's such a horrible person. Horrible, horrible, selfish bastard. U will be SO wrong if u look at his face and use that to form an impression of his personality. He's an asshole X10! I think he was asleep when God passed out the niceness gene. Fine for nothing.

Tell me how the relationship is going to last when i think such nasty thots about him, but that's the reality. When i look at how he treats me, and i see all these guys that are dying to be with me (no joke or exaggeration), i wonder if i have lost my sanity somewhere. I'm taking deep breaths. Why can't i just walk away?

So right now after a series of events, i'm in the middle of playing relationship games as advised by one of my closest friends and endorsed by that devil's cousin.

• Don't call him for 2 days
• On the third day call him for no more than a minute (his cousin said i better set a timer so i don't exceed one minute cos he knows me)
• Then wait and see if he calls me the next day. 
• If he does, act normal like everything is fine. La dee dah!
• Let him keep doing all the calling for a long time, until the relationship is balanced. 

OR

• If he doesn't pick up my call on the third day, give him an hour and call again. Maybe he was away from the phone (talk true!). 
• If he doesn't pick up the second call, call one more time. 
• If he doesn't pick up the third call, never call again. 

OR

• If he picks up the call and I talk for the prescribed one minute but doesn't call the next day or the next day, don't ever call him again. 

OR

• If he happens to call me before the 2 days are up, then talk like normal. Nothing happened, i'm not upset. We are still BFF's.
• But let him do all the calling for a long, long time.  

My response to all this was, what the fuck is this nonsense about? Why should i be playing games at this age. His cousin's response was "Shut up and do it, you ask too many why's". Their point is, if i follow this plan to the tee, i would know for sure if he really wants to be in the relationship or not (like say na me toast am in the first place). He said i am no longer in control and i need to get that back. I should be the pursed and never the pursurer.

Na wa!

At this point i have to accept that sadness and disappointment are temporary and everything is going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.