Antsy

I feel very ansty. Like i'm waiting for something to happen and i'm not even sure what it is. I'm restless, on edge, pretty much in a gray area. Don't like it too much cos i like my life to be orderly.

So the fine boy that i met, doesn't actually have a chic but he has a chic he likes. However according to him, she is seasonal. He says he likes me. Am i now his second choice or is he giving up on first chic that won't agree for him? Don't know and i this point, i don't care too much. I've been talking to his much cuter cousin (whom for whatever reason, i'm not attracted to), come to find out today that he might like me, but he won't do anything about it out of principle. He knows his cousin likes me and i already mentioned that i liked his cousin. This dude is pretty boy cute with a capital Q! Not sure y i am not attracted to him cos his my kind of cute. We shall see sha. The one that i think i'm attracted to is meskaforming. I don't have time.

I'm still dealing with Mr. Man issues, so i'm not serious about anything. Just enjoying the gisting and blooming friendships and the attention too :) Taking one day at a time. I no fit shout.

For some reason, i have been craving sweets. Yesterday, i pretty much didn't eat food, besides cereal and some general tso's chicken from the walmart deli. I had a slice of caramel turtle pecan cheese cake for breakfast (YES!!!, bad i know), then some key lime cheese cake after cereal for lunch. Then a piece of banana nut muffin, then some pound cake in the evening. I had to physically stop myself. Little surprise that i went from 152lb to 154lbs in 2 days. I can't help myself. Don't even know if this is emotional eating cos i haven't even being wanting to eat lately.

I ate much better today though. Although i did have another slice of the caramel turtle pecan cheesecake and a very very little piece of strawberry swirl cheesecake. I almost reached for the key lime cheesecake but i stopped myself and grabbed an orange instead. In case u r wondering, i absolutely love cheesecake and once a month, i get to eat it. I bought the cheesecake sampler for $6.00 from walmart and it had 4 different flavors, then i bought a little mini individual key lime cheesecake. Then my sister got a pound cake and a medium red velvet cake for her fiance. So yes, there's currently a lot of cake in the refrigerator at the moment. It's crazy, i know. Cos in the last couple of months, all u see in the refrigerator is healthy stuff. Spinach, carrots, mixed veggies, broccoli. Not even bread.

I'll do better tomorrow. Hopefully :)