Too Westernized

5 years! That’s the landmark…..once you reach that magic number of 5 years of living in America, you automatically change. You become less Nigerian and more American.

Really?!!!  Yes….. really.

So how does it happen? Is it magic?
Well….not really magic and I’m not sure how it happens, but trust me it does. I know all this crazy Nigerian chics and they have all been here more than 5 years and I know they were not like that in Nigeria.

So what does it mean to be westernized?

• Once you start to think that you and a man are equal and the only thing different between the two of you is your anatomy. 
• When you start to expect that you be equal partners in a relationship and expect roles to be shared based on strengths rather than prescribed gender roles.
• When you become aware that you have a voice and decide to use it. 
• When you start to expect things out of a relationship that your fore-mothers didn’t dream of expecting, 
• When you don’t worship the ground your man walks on and kneel down to serve him his meals simply because he's a man.
• When you don’t quietly take all a man dishes out to you just because you really need a man and he happens to be the last man alive.
• When you dare mention the word police even as the man decides to reconstruct and redecorate your face even though he is not a plastic surgeon. That is so not Nigerian.

You see, a real Nigerian woman, will sit there and take it. She was properly brought up and knows her place. What’s the big deal about her man cheating? All men cheat, it’s in their DNA. Your mom took it and looked the other way, why can’t you? Is it because you are now in America, you now think you can open your mouth and talk? He’s beating you and so what? It’s a man’s duty as the head of the household to keep his family in check. What’s a few slaps here and there? You know women are naturally hysterical creatures and their brains need to be reset with some hard knocks every now and then. Sit there, shut up and take it. If he hits you too hard, you can cry o! Ehen, nobody said you can’t cry, but don’t be wailing and making all that noise thereby disturbing your man’s precious sleep. You know as the head of the household, he needs all the rest he can get. Never mind that you work 12 hour shifts Monday through Friday. Your fellow nurses who have as many kids as you do, only work 3 days out the week, but your husband insists that you have to work the money he spent sending you to nursing school after all, you are his investment.

How can you as a Nigerian woman who was properly raised expect a man to help you around the house? Do dishes? Wake up in the middle of the night and help with the baby? You have lost your damn mind and you better do something about trying to find it ASAP. You don’t know that real Nigerian women are made of steel? Tired? What is that? Sleep? That shit is for the birds. Nigerian women are man, woman and more man all rolled up in one. So really they are 2 parts man and one part woman, which makes them more man than their men, who just happen to be one part man. Ha ha ha! I know.  

God knew what he was doing when he came up with that formula. So shut up and stop whining about nothing. You can take it. After all, if you do anything other than what your great-grand mother, grand-mother and mother did, you will be accused of being too westernized and that my friends is the greatest insult that can be bestowed on a "real" Nigerian woman. So stand up for yourself at your own risk. Expect more at your own risk. Get a voice and use it at your own risk. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

OMG! You are so westernized!!!!!
Did you really say that to me? You hurt me in my heart…..my heart bleeds. I am devastated. Yeah right!

P.S. I can officially say i have put up a post while in the air. Go google chrome. Thanks for the free internet cos God knows i was not willing to pay $10 just to get online while flying. Airtran rocks too, but i'm still not paying you guys $10 for nothing.