Blogging Anonymously Re-visited

It's 3.27am and i'm still up. Don't you think i have home problems, given the fact that i'm on vacation and i should be filling up my sleep tank. I just finished listening to the latest verastic show on Anonymous bloggers. Fun stuff. I couldn't listen live cos i was at the library Saturday morning. It was a very interesting show and i love me some Foxy P. Interesting personality.

I realize that this blog is slowing tilting back toward being "personal" like it used to be and me no likey that BECAUSE there are some people (you know yourselves) who read this blog and know me in real life that don't talk to me, yet they care enough about what is going on in my life to continue reading this blog. Gbegborun United Club of Nigeria. Hmmmm..... One of such people is the reason why this is my 4th blog. I kept deleting my blogs and she kept finding it even after i told her i didn't want her to be reading my blog and the only reason i knew she was reading my blog, was based on putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 4.We used to be very close friends and at the time when i needed to have this blog as my personal space, she wouldn't let me have it. Back then, my blog was so personal to me, it was almost as if she was sneaking behind my back and reading my diary. Its like she felt the need to check what i told her in real life with what i was writing on my blog and she was supposed to be my closest friend in this country. Lack of trust = friendship failure (Friendship lesson numero uno)

She knew 98% of everything that i was writing on the blog because i talked to this chic every day and told her these things. She still felt she had to spy on me and then get offended when she saw one or two things that i didn't tell her (according to her) and she didn't even have the decency to come clean and bring the issue to my attention. It didn't matter that she was wrong about what she was thinking. I was shady cos i didn't tell her EVERYTHING. Who does that? Even if you are my twin, i can't tell you every single thing i'm thinking. She denied for a whole year that she was reading my blog. Straight up lied to me (but in her mind, i'm the liar) all the while not speaking to me over something she saw on my personal, "anonymous" blog that she lied that she wasn't reading. The crazy thing is I wouldn't have minded that she was reading the blog. It's not like i was writing about her or anything. Maybe that's what she was waiting to see. Only God knows. Come to find out that this chic is a blogger. How did i find this out? Two years later by listening to the verastic show. Life sha! Live, learn and grow. She taught me that some friendships no matter how close they are, are really only for a season and you can't force someone to want to be your friend. Two very important life lessons. So Madam, i know you STILL read my blog. I take that as a compliment because you just can't help yourself. I must be very interesting ;) Carry on.

With that being said, to speak on vera's most recent show which had to do with being an anonymous blogger, I'll say that the reason i started blogging anonymously Jan 2007 and the reason i'm still blogging anonymously Aug 2011 are very different. For one, the content of my blog has changed from being deeply personal, with a lot of dark and heavy stuff to being slightly personal with nothing too deep. As with everything i do, i have questioned why i am still anonymous and i asked for your opinion on it and some people gave valid reasons for continuing to be anonymous which i agree with.

By God's grace, i'm going to be a doctor sometime in the near future, and i don't ever want a patient to find this blog and know all my private thoughts or my co-workers to find it. Even now, i would be horrified if my classmates who i barely talk to found this blog and read it. There's something unprofessional about that because at the end of the day, all this is gist. Which is why Miss Lady here will not stop reading my blog and which is why a lot of Nigerians blog anonymously. It's not that we are not authentic and our blog does not reflect who we really are, it just that sometimes you put your face to your blog and people who know you in real life but are not your close friends, maybe associates and acquaintances will be privy to your private thoughts and dealings that you might otherwise not be comfortable revealing to them.

At the end of the day, it all depends on the content of your blog. If you blog about generic stuff and people don't even know the tiniest detail about you personally, then it might not matter whether you are anonymous or not. But if like me, your blog is a personal journal of sorts, then it matters because i don't want my secondary school classmate who i have not talked to in God knows how long to google me (or whatever) find this blog and start to read about all my trials and tribulations (and med school lamentations :) I'm not comfortable with that idea. If you are my friend and stumble on this blog, trust me, it won't take you too long to figure out it's me. What i write on this blog is who i am. I do not have 2 different personalities or whatever and i have no problem standing behind whatever i have written in person, not that i write inciteful things anyway. I just dey my own jeje.

To whoever is saying anonymous bloggers are ugly, i laugh in Japanese. Far from it, my dear. I'm a fine geh no pimples, just dimples ;)

*Now anyone is free to read the blog o. I put the info out there so it's fair game.
** I never really write about people on my blog, i learnt that early on. However, i no longer write certain personal things because of members of the Gbegborun United Club of Nigeria who know me in real life but are not my friends. No be my personal life una go use take dey gist. Ehn ehn. I wrote this really beautiful 2 page letter to myself today that i would have loved to share, but sadly i can't.
*** We shall be shifting back to not so personal stuff in the future. 
**** I do have friends who read this blog that i don't mind at all. My siblings know the blog address. My brother says it's boring and why would he want to read my blog anyway. One of my sisters said, she doesn't read it cos she knows i don't want her to read it and i don't know if the other one reads it but i know i check my blog from her computer all the time so it's very accessible to her.

At the end of the day, what i wouldn't want my mother to read, i don't write. That's my yardstick. She hates us being on facebook, so i know for sure she would be horrified to know that i still blog. She knew when i started and was against it.

How do i end up writing these long posts? Please for my lazy readers, forgive me.
It's 4.23am. I'll just take my nocturnal self to bed.

Oh, i just have to say this.....i really wish blogger was like twitter where i could protect my blog posts and only my followers get to see them. That would be awesome. Good night peeps. I'll probably wake up at 2 pm tomorrow and wonder where the day went. Most likely not cos i can never sleep that late.