Drama

Ladies, this question is for you. (Guys you can chime in too)

Is it ever appropriate for a female to call her boyfriend/fiance's platonic friend because she overheard a conversation they were having and she didn't like the way platonic friend was talking to her man?

Just so we keep it in context, i'll give you guys the background for this question which normally i wouldn't do but i'm making an exception because i am royally pissed. A close guy friend who i've been friends with for 6 years (purely platonic friends), met this Hispanic chic last year, long story short they got engaged over the summer and will be getting married next year. This guy is like a brother to me, because not only is he best friends with one of my most favorite people in this world (which is how we became friends), he is one of the few people i am genuinely close to and can tell anything. I was even the one thinking of romantic ways he can propose to this chic.

Anyway, he went to naija and just came back on Saturday and i spoke to him and his best friend a couple of times on my birthday while he was in Naij. I'm so scared of the craziness going on in Naija right now and i knew of all his travel plans while in Naij. These two boys were basically going to be hopping from state to state. Besides the kidnappings, you also have to be concerned about accidents on those dangerous roads. So i asked them to be careful and pray before embarking on any journey. Long story short, Sat. evening, i called to make sure he was back safe. He didn't pick up. Monday evening when i realised i still hadn't heard from him, i called him again and this time he picks up, and i was like "You no see say i call you, why u no call me back?" or something along those lines. I don't exactly remember the conversation. I probably added "wetin dey worry you sef or something". He said he was busy and i said, i just wanted to make sure he got back safe. The conversation was less than a minute. I had books to read, i really just wanted to make sure he got back safe, nothing more.

Fast forward to yesterday, he calls (6 times back to back in like 20 mins) to ask me if i could ever date him, i'm like where is this coming from? Unbeknownst to me, this was for his fiancee's benefit. So i answer no, that he was like my brother and he kept insisting on why and i said because i have never looked at him that way and we've never had that kind of relationship. Then he says he has to go and i was like what kind of weird conversation is this. 30 secs barely passes before my phone rings again and this time it was his fiancee calling me with his number.

I've never spoken to her before. I was friendly with his previous ex and actually used to talk to that one, but this one, i have zero relationship with. She pissed me off last year on facebook cos she kind of mocked me on a comment i left on his page. I called him and told him the only reason i didn't cuss her out there and then was because i was respecting him. He told me, she was just protecting her territory and he understood where both of us were coming from. I left it alone and have never once commented on his facebook page since that incident. Besides, i knew that she had serious jealousy issues from what he had told me.

So, I'm sitting there trying to figure out what the hell is going on, as this chic is pretty much scolding me and asking me why would i be yelling at her fiance for not notifying me about his return to the country (apparently she had overheard the conversation i had with him), that don't i know he is engaged. That she feels disrespected, so i said let me get this straight, obviously, the previous conversation was for your benefit, so is it that you were upset and you are no longer upset or are you still upset? She said she was still upset and i asked her why, she said she feel disrespected because i was speaking to her fiance that way. I asked her if i was speaking to her and she says no, but she feels disrespected because that's her fiance. This, my friends is when i go from 0 to 10 in 2 secs. Anyone who knows me, knows i have a temper and i have a very low tolerance for bullshit. When i get angry, i get angry, there's no slow buildup, no middle ground and i get vocal. I cut her off and try to clarify exactly why she's speaking to me, which is what i was asking her initially when she started talking before i got irritated. I end up telling her, i have no business with her and she can go to hell and that i will to speak to my friend. I hang up, he calls me back, i refer to her as a little bitch, and he tries to pull the "don't call my fiancee a bitch crap" which infuriated me more so I call her a bitch multiple times and called him a pussy simultaneously as well. So for everytime she got called a bitch, i called him a pussy for good measure. Of course it gets a little messier, but i will spare you guys more details.

I have never been more pissed in my life because i was so blindsided by this mess. Chic starts texting me and i tell her, she has no business talking to me. I never yelled at her boyfriend. I remember talking to my siblings in pidgin and people thinking we were fighting because of our tone. She's not Nigerian, so i guess that's why she thought i was yelling at her man. Even then, i think she overstepped her boundaries big time by calling me and SCOLDING me about it, while my stupid, pussy whipped friend, stood by and let her. I had to ask him if he forgot who i was and how did he think i would stand there and let some chic talk to me any kind of way. He must have forgotten, cos i'm not the one. Never have, never will be.

So back to my question, i'm not even going to bother asking if i was wrong, because i know that there's no way in hell, i was wrong. I feel like this is a classic case of "trouble dey sleep, yanga go wake am".

Is it ever appropriate for a female to contact another female over her guy for whatever reason? 

*Dude was lucky he was nowhere close to where i was yesterday cos i would have wrung his neck and i told him as much, in exactly those words. What nonsense. 
**I might end up taking this post down, but i am still so pissed, i needed to vent.

Principalities and powers. Evil forces of distraction. God will punish all of you.