Oct 29

It's my birthday and i am sad and deflated and overwhelmed. Good thing i never planned out my life because if i had planned it, this is not where i would have wanted to be at this point. I think i am burnt out.. I'm just losing steam and i can't afford to right now. I have an OSCE on tuesday and a shelf on Wednesday, so i can't even enjoy the birthday anyway. Be that as it may, let's review the last year of my life

• I found God
• Then i lost him or he left me, one of the two. I'm boycotting him right now anyway, so it doesn't matter.
• Med school has been using me to play panya and it hasn't stopped. Sighhhhhhhh.............
• I am coming out of my shell and enjoying this new side of me
• I found out i can actually tolerate bullshit, either that or med school has taken the fight out of me. I just don't want to deal with wahala anymore.
• I discovered how strong I really am. "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have" - This is true
• I boycotted guys for the rest of 2nd yr and got my life and sanity back. I loved every second of it.
• I decided i don't want to be a Pediatrician or an Anesthesiologist (The only rotations i have done so far). Here's to hoping i like Internal medicine, my next rotation. I probably won't like anything with the way things are going.
• Actually, i lied. I fell in love the first day i walked into GI clinic. It could have been lust or infatuation. Only time will tell.
• I discovered medicine is cool. Sometimes i am awed by the things i've seen and it makes me want to be a good doctor. I just want to be great at what i do and have patients who think i'm awesome because i am knowledgeable and have good people skills. That's my goal in life.
• I have accepted that my brain may never fire in the direction of me longing to be someone's wife but i think it's something i would be okay with doing if i met the right person (who will let me keep my name. lol)
• Sadly, i have to admit by my grandmother's standards, I am no longer a spring chicken even though i might look like one. It's okay though, old hens taste better, so i'm cool with that. 
• I stopped carrying medicine on my head. I started sleeping and taking plenty chill pills. It has helped my health a lot. My sanity is still questionable, but it's a process and we are getting there.  
• I am convinced that i was built for a life of luxury. I would love an assistant to take care of the mundane aspects of my life. One can dream right? That is my number one fantasy. I was made to be a madam o. Cash madam, big madam, for my mind. All join. 

Sinfully delicious. My treat to myself, after all you only turn 65 once :)

 Happy Byday to me! 

Thankfully Hematology clinic is only 3 hours in the morning and i can study for the rest of the day. 

Whoop dee doo!