Cos i don't want to study

I'm not the only one who hates being in med school. We are many. Friends who i never thought would complain about hating it or haven made a mistake are complaining now and it helps to know that i'm not the only one feeling this way. I think it's the way the system is set up. Just look into the depression rates for med students and physicians. This is not a normal way to live and it doesn't get better not anytime soon. I'm hearing about doctors who gradate and work part time. I don't blame them.

I just need to find me a rich husband to make that dream a reality. Any takers?

If you see my hair ehn? It's shameful walking around with this thing on my head. I miss my permed hair, but i've had to braid since May cos my hair fell out due to stress. Med school will not kill me, i swear. I get this whole weekend off aka golden weekend *rolls eye* I will however be grateful and not look a gift horse in the mouth.

I don't like internal medicine. What will i end up doing with my life? Only time will tell. I'm hanging in there. I appreciate the encouragement and support from you guys. If only you guys can find me a sugar daddy, then all will be well with the world :)

I'm trying to buy my ticket for my waka this christmas. All i can say is Gotdamn! But i refuse to spend christmas alone. We are supposed to start back on the 2nd of Jan, that means it's to be traveling on new years day. You see why i said this shit is cray cray.

There's the older transporter (move patients from place to place) at the hospital that i see pretty frequently, sometimes i say hi, sometimes i don't. It depends on the way the sun is shining that day. He says hi too, usually good morning. Anyway, this morning i say him coming cos i happened to glance backwards, i was in front of a patients room using the computer. As he passes by he actually said good morning to me and i responded. Then he greeted someone else, and i could pick out the Nigerian accent. So when he walked by me, i asked if he was Nigerian and he said yes. I told him i picked it up when he said good morning, and he said "but i said good morning to you too". I said i didn't pick out the accent then. He asked if i was Nigerian and i said yes, asked where i was from and all that jazz. Now, i feel like i have to be greeting him properly, with the Sir and all that. My upbringing is bigger than me in cases like this and i just have to show him respect in that way.

Which brings me to something that just occurred to me last week. We were in lecture and i brought out my bowl of fruit and was eating. One of my classmates jokingly put out his hand like he wanted some but refused when i really wanted to give him. It just reminded me of how in Nigeria it is (or was?) unheard of to be eating and not offer the people around you. I remember being in the dorms and having something to eat but not wanting to share but since people were around, i wouldn't eat cos it was just wrong to bring out food and not offer people, who might take you up on your offer. It was something i had to adjust to when i came here too, having people eat so comfortably in front of me without offering (not like i would have accepted), it was just weird. I guess being here for so long has eroded that cos i can eat in front of anyone without it even occurring to me to offer them to share my food. Nobody offers anyone anything, unless family or close friends if that.

This is the only thing that made me laugh all week. He is so exotic looking. I don't think he's a typical handsome guy but he has grown on me and now i think he is gorgeous. He is gay in case anyone is interested since i can't have him.