Another headachy day

I get so pissed sometimes i can feel the cells in my body vibrating. I know it must seem like i'm always pissed on this blog, i'm not. When i'm mad i either scream or i write. Sometimes i scream, but most times (these days) i write. So what has pissed me off today? This idiot dude at my lab aka research tech aka White black boy (no, he's not mixed). So, i'm in charge of the breeding colony. I breed the animals used in research. Initially, i would only breed them and the pple who work in the animal facility would wean them when they are old enough to leave their mother (For those of you who are curious, the animals are weaned at 18-21 days). Our lab started getting charged heavily for that service, so to cut costs i was assigned the job. No problem. Initially, i had a little trouble distinguishing the males from the females cos when they are really little sometimes it's hard to see their genitalia or whatever. So i told our research scientist when she asked me how i was doing and she obviously thot i needed help and she told WBB to assist me.

I noticed that he wanted to be in control of the whole thing. He would always rush to go wean the animals and seeing how i have other things to do, i would be the last person to drag for work. I let him have it. They don't pay me extra for doing it, and it doesn't count for anything, it's just work. So yesterday, i went upstairs to put some breeding pairs together, when i was done i noticed there were hamsters that needed to be weaned and i weaned them. Simple. When i got down to the lab, as a courtesy (i don't have to) i told WBB that i had weaned some animals. He asked a couple of questions about it, i answered and that was that. I was in the lab for the whole day yesterday, he didn't say anything. The same thing today, he was acting normal around me, talking and acting like everything was fine. He even asked me to take his time sheet for him when i took mine upstairs. Imagine my surprise when i got home and saw this email.

So next time you feel the urge to wean animals cuz you think they just have to be weaned, please don't. I have it under control and I was saving those ones you did the other day for today or tomorrow. Those guys were only 18 days old today so that's fine to wait until tomorrow. That way I can do them all and not just leave the one cage born the 13th that needed one or two more days. AND I was saving females to be added to the group of 5 I did the the day before. it's supposed to be MY job so next time either tell me before you do it or just leave them cuz I probably was up there before you and left them for a reason.



NO hi, hello or bye. I was so pissed when i got this becos I was with this dude all day in the lab today and he acted like everything was fine. I can't stand phoniness. I can't. Why smile at me when u have an issue with me? Did it take him 2 days to summon the courage to tell me this? My initial response wasn't nice, so i waited 30mins to try to calm down, but as is the case with me my anger only increases with time until i do something about what's making me mad. So i tell my brother about it and as i'm talking i'm getting more pissed. So i sent our research scientist an email asking her to clarify who's job it is and telling her i did not appreciate getting that kind of email from WBB. Yes, i forwarded the email to her. Then I sent him this email.

You saw me yesterday and today and you did not bother to say anything to me. I would have preferred to have this discussion in person but since you chose this medium, i will oblige you. The next time you feel the need to address me in such a tone, please suppress it cos i'm not your subordinate. The last time i checked, weaning was my job not yours. I was specifically assigned to do the weaning by Dr. XYZ. I let you do it cos u wanted to. So please don't act like i'm invading your territory. All you needed to have done was simply tell me that you were saving those animals to be weaned for later. There was no need for such a nasty email. I really don't appreciate it at all cos it's not that serious.

When i called my friend (i really needed to vent) she said maybe he was joking and that i'm touchy. OK! So i sent her his email and she agreed that i didn't overreact. Maybe it's just me. Probably a lot of people would not get mad at such an email, but i just found it offensive. He was rude (no hi or hello) and i felt he was addressing me in a condescending manner. I'm pissed at myself cos i couldn't study cos i was so pissed. Maybe it's that time of the month (whatever that means) but i'm very high strung and edgy at the moment and i'm not in the mood for bullshit from anybody.

UPDATE

The dude told our research scientist he was surprised that's why he sent me that email. Surprised about what? Anyway, i told her why i weaned the animals which was becos he had basically overcrowded a cage. He worked at one end of the lab and i worked at the other end. He never tried to talk to me and i wasn't interested in speaking with him becos i didn't want to create a scene as i didn't think i could have a level headed conversation with him at that point. Funny how as soon as i leave the lab, he sends me another email which i get when i get home.


I didn't say anything before because I didn't realize the problem until yesterday and you weren't here so I couldn't have the talk in person and today was going to be a busy day and once again you aren't here to have the talk so here we go again. You haven't weaned in like two months and I didn't want to do it I was told to do it. I would have told you to leave them if you had told me were going to do it before you actually did it. I'm not a mind reader. So if you want to be all offended and play the stupid silent treatment over this then that's fine.


The last statement made me see red. First of all, how professional is that? Secondly, i didn't know i was supposed to go out of my way to say hi to him. He saw me in the lab just the way i saw him, i didn't hear him say hi. I called the lab and spoke to the research scientist as soon as i got the email. She said she was going to do something about it but at this point i don't trust her. So i sent him this email and trust me when i say i had to restrain myself.

Do not ever use that word stupid with me ever again. I was not abusive with you and you have no reason to use that word with me. If this is how you speak to other people, do not try that nonsense with me. Did u try to speak to me today? What stupid silent treatment are u referring to?I bet it's easy to hide behind a computer and be nasty. For the rest of the time you are here, don't wean anymore animals, i don't need ur help. XYZ only asked you to HELP me. Don't send me anymore rude and condescending emails. You couldn't have waited until Monday to tell me the nonsense you just wrote. If i get anymore emails from you that i find offensive, i would go straight to Dr. XYZ because i did not come to work to be harassed by you. I've never had any problems with any other people in the lab and i refuse to let you be the first. Keep all your nasty emails to yourself from now on. If you have something to say to me, the next time you see me, tell me to MY FACE. You really need to go learn how to approach people, cos you suck at it right now.

Then i sent an email to the research scientist telling her that ever since she told him to help me it has been like we were both jostling for who would get there first to do the weaning. I told her that i let him do it cos he's leaving soon and i didn't think there would be any need to drag work with him. I wasn't going to tell her that but i can see that he's going to try to make it seem like i abandoned the job. He is such a stupid person. Maybe the fact that he's going to med school in august has gotten to his head and he has to develop his ego b4 he leaves. Idiot.

Signature html

R.I.P

R.I.P Sonny Okosuns (1947-2008). I grew up listening to his music. He was a part of my childhood the way Shina Peters and King Sunny Ade were. Wow, i can't believe he's gone. It's sad.

Some thots

I was reading this post by jarrai (Oya, go and read it but make sure u come back o!) and that is what i've wanted to do for years and i've not been very successful at it. There are many times in my life where it was obvious that i needed to get rid of some people who were dead weight in my life but i just didn't have the heart to do it. I try but they keep coming back and can't just shut them out.

Last yr i wasted over 8 months of my life talking to this dude who i knew would never date, i wasn't attracted to him, he was a liar (I can't stand liars and this dude always tried to justify his lies by saying he didn't want to lose me). I finally stopped talking to him in november, only for this dude to call me on new year's day saying he wants to be friends with me and i just couldn't say no. Finally, guess who cut who out of their life? He did!! He just stopped talking to me one day and when i would call him he would never pick up. I wasn't even sure what was going on, until i figured out the idiot was ignoring me. When he didn't want to speak to me anymore he cut me off COMPLETELY. That's something i wanted to do for months and months but i couldn't cos i didn't want to hurt his feelings, at the end did he care about my feelings?

Same thing with my abusive ex. I knew from the first week that something wasn't right. By the end of the second week i was sure i shouldn't be with that type of person. Dude hung up on me just for contradicting him in the first week. The excuse was that he was stressed. I stuck with that nonsense for 3 months until he finally hit me.

Then there's my friend i talked about a couple of months ago, after a month of not speaking to each other she called me and the first thing out her mouth is "Did u miss me?". I was speechless. If it was up to me, i would not be friends with her ever again, just becos she doesn't accept me for who i am, she wants me to be the way she wants me to be and she acts like she knows everything. Not only that she's a jealous human being, i didn't know she was that kind of person until she made a comment regarding her best friends. She actually told me that if her best friend got married before her she would be very pissed. I was shocked. Why would u be pissed? She's only 24 but she refuses to look at wedding websites becos she doesn't have a boyfriend and she wants to get married so bad. What kind of thing is that? When one of my best friends got married in dec, i was beyond excited. I have already called dibs on being god-mother of her first child. Little stuff like that just made me know that she's not a good fit for me as a friend. So she called me this month, i didn't really want to talk to her but i did and i was so uncomfortable cos i felt fake. We talked 2 more times after that and i decided i didn't want to torture myself anymore. She has called me twice since and i didn't take the calls and i have felt so guilty about it ever since.

Now this stalker dude is another one i have to watch out for cos he's sneaky. I got an offline message asking me if i was still mad and if he could call me cos he misses me so bad. This was after i told him i never wanted to deal with him anymore. I guess he took that to mean, i need a break to cool off.

I need to learn how to completely cut people off without going back cos these pple don't need to be in my life. Deleting numbers doesn't work, i have a good memory. I guess i need to find it from within me to just let pple go.

Wahala

See me see wahala.... I have a stalker on my hands oh! This guy has called me back to back 29times in the last 20mins. Make that 30 times.

How do i meet these kinds of people? I remember talking to my therapist last yr about the nigerian guy that i met that was trying to get me involved in his online dating scam activities and i just burst out laughing. She asked me why i was laughing and i said cos i don't know how i meet all these kinds of people.

With this dude that's calling, it's almost like a movie. Thankfully he's very far away from me if not i would be worried. The guy is so freaking annoying and he's such a manipulator. I hate that. He's the same guy that made me mad in my previous post.

Make that 31 times he has called.

He's worrying me right now. I would take his call but i don't want to get into another senseless conversation AGAIN tonight. Imagine this dude saying he wants to be with me, yet he has a girlfriend. (To cut a very long story short) As soon as i tell him not to call me anymore he changes his story that he was just trying to make me jealous. What?!! This is after i had asked him repeatedly since yesterday if he was joking and he said no. He said he has seen who he wants (moi) and what's wrong if he wants to go after me. I told him i don't want to be with him and hung up on him. He kept calling, then i finally picked up and that's when he said he was joking. Trust me, he wasn't. He has no reason to make that kind of joke for 2 straight days. Mind u, he keeps accusing me of having a boyfriend even after i had told him i don't have one. Talk about guilty conscience, and he had asked me on Sunday what would i do if i found out he had a girlfriend. He brought it up again yesterday, and that's when he decided to confess and come clean. Now, as soon as i ask him not to call me anymore, he was joking.

Do i look mildly retarded? What kind of stupid joke is that? So he said if that's what i want he'll leave me alone, i said fine. Now he won't stop calling me. He's sending me text messages asking me to pick up the phone so he can tell me everything. I thot he said he was joking, so what everything is he telling me?

That's it! I'm on a boy break until i learn to start weeding out the potential stalkers and lunatics. They are driving me crazy or maybe i'm driving myself crazy cos i don't have to deal with these old goats.


So the heifer called me a couple more times last night and left me about 4 voice messages. He had the guts to say he didn't know what he did, but whatever it is he is very sorry. What?!!! I don't know how he left me that message with a straight face. He said he doesn't know what message i was trying to send by not picking up his calls and he has no idea why i am so angry and he just kept apologizing. If u call me 5 times and i don't pick up the phone, what message am i sending? He called me 34 TIMES!!!! What freaking message did he think i was sending? He's crazy!

Not once did he mention that he was joking when he said he had a girlfriend. If he really was joking he would have said so in the voice message instead of pretending he didn't know why i was mad. This is the same shit i have had to deal with in the last month. He does or says some stupid stuff and when i react to it he manipulates the situation to make me feel like i'm being mean to him for no reason. I had told this guy last week, i didn't want to be with him. Two days later, he's back acting like those words never left my mouth. He kept asking me to tell him what i want with him even after i had already told him.

So he doesn't feel bad, i said he should chill until after my exam in July and we'll talk about it. It was never my intention to string him along but since he refused to listen to what i had previously said,i had to say that to get him off my back. Still that didn't work. I only started talking to this dude a month ago, i've never met him. His sister was my dorm prefect in boarding school and that's the only reason i started talking to him in the first place. I go on yahoo messenger this morning and he had left me this video by Joe (If i was your man. Youtube it if u are interested). I don't think it's cute. I think he's a psycho cos he has no reason to be so into me. Calling me 34 freaking times, for what?!

Damn!

I'm freaking pissed!

1. Is it wrong for me to feel that i am equal to a guy?
2. Is it wrong for me to see red whenever i hear the word "submissive" especially when people quote the bible?
3. Why do i have to be the one to change my name?
4. Why do i have to be the one to switch church denominations?
5. Why is it my age clock ticking?
   
6. How come a 31yr old unwed man has no issues but a 31yr old unwed female has everyone praying and fasting for her? (No, i'm not 31)
   

I hate that word submissive. I don't want to hear it. Don't quote the bible to me. If u were such a damn good christian how come u've been fucking for all these years? Talk about hypocrisy! Don't freaking tell me I've abandoned my culture just because i expect you to view me and treat me as an equal. What made ur opinion count more than mine? Does the possession of a penis count more than having a fully functional intelligent brain? Why do i have to complement u? Why can't we complement each other? Why do u have to make me feel like a possession to be acquired? What happened to me? I have a brain too u know.

At the rate I'm going, I'll probably die a shriveled up old maid, or maybe I'll just say fuck it to all u narrow minded Nigerian men (if u're not a narrow minded Nigerian man, good for u!)

Akamu anyone?

Why in God's name do libraries have to be so cold? Eh?! It's like a second winter in the library. It's all nice and sunny outside but freezing in the library. Like a sheep without shepherd, i have been jumping from one library to another trying to find one with a decent temperature. I have become a library whore. I can't study when i'm cold oh! Even if i have on a sweater, it doesn't work i'm just too uncomfortable. My school library is the height. I even started taking a blankie to the library. So if u happen to live in my city and u see a girl in the library huddling under a blankie like she's in her bedroom, just know it's me. But if the chic is a "wowo for sale", it's not me. I reject!

Anyway, i had taken myself to the public library close to my house (after leaving the community college library, which has the best temp. so far but they close early). After studying for a short while i suddenly got a craving. For what, u might ask........... Akamu (pap) and liquid peak milk . I was surprised at myself cos i don't know where that kind of craving came from. It's not like i'm pregnant or anything, unless my name is Mary, which i can assure u it is not. I haven't had that meal in a long time, not even when i was still in naija. So, that's how i started thinking of food (Suya) instead of studying. Mehn......... i need to go to naija seriously.

Moving on.......... my best friend's boyfriend of 7yrs suddenly decided to break up with her for no good reason. I did the hook up when we were still teenagers, now this dude is now a doctor and he has decided to ditch my friend. I have asked for his number and i am going to do power ranger for my friend. She's very heart broken and i can definitely feel her pain. 7 yrs? Na beans? That boy better get ready for me, cos he's going to get it. I saw it coming cos he's been misbehaving since he graduated from med school last year. He stopped calling her claiming he was too busy. I have friends that are in the same boat as him and i asked them if you would be too busy to call ur girlfriend during ur housemanship, and they said u would definitely have time if u were not on call. Now, he called my friend one day and she didn't pick up cos she left her phone at her sister's house, that's the excuse he now used to break up with her. Saying he is going to be a very busy man and he can't marry a woman he doesn't trust. Just becos she didn't pick him his call. That dude is trifling. I knew when he was cheating on her, but i didn't tell her cos i knew she would not leave him and i did not want to scatter someone's relationship all the way from here.

This is the first relationship i hooked up, all the other's after this have ended up in disaster so i have definitely retired my match-making cap. I suck at it.

Just because i love you guys

This is the video that got me hooked on D'banj. I already loved Wande Coal's voice b4 seeing this video, but this did it for me. He is definitely singing at my wedding! I have watched this video like 10 times and it cracks me up each time. I can't stop laughing.

Am i stressed or what?!

I'm kinda stressed right now. I just can't seem to relax. I went to get a touch up on Saturday, i just took out my braids on Friday and my stylist told me my hair cut off in the center of my head. So i told her to do whatever she needs to do to make it look good. I thot i would be getting a trim or something. This lady shaved my the back of my head. The style looks great, but i HATE it with a passion. It's too high maintenance and i have been trying to grow my hair back for 2 yrs now and the stylist keeps cutting it off for one reason or the other. I honestly think she gave me this bootleg haircut cos she was mad that i went to braid my hair and i didn't come to the salon for over 2 months.

I usually get my hair done every week, but matter done hard. I'm seriously broke and i can't afford to do that which is why i got my hair braided in the first place. Now she has gone to give me this stupid hair cut that would require weekly visits to the salon if i don't want to look jacked up.I'm so pissed and i feel so stupid for letting her cut my hair, although i didn't think this was what she wanted to do. She said cut but my brain was registering trim. She actually cut it with scissors but she whipped out the shaver at the end, and i just sat there like an idiot cos i thot she was looking out for me. I really think she did this on purpose cos after i got home, i remember that my hair didn't cut off when i was taking off my braids. I did the kinky twist and that doesn't cut hair off. I have a good mind never to go back to that stylist even though I've been going there for two years. She doesn't have my best interests at heart at all. I'm pissed at myself. I can't even work out cos i don't want to sweat and mess up my hair.

Moving on.............I feel guilty. I just told a guy that really likes me that i can't concentrate on him right now cos i need to focus on my exams and he said okay, let's just end everything right now. I was kinda iffy about the whole thing cos he lives in a different country but i didn't know how to straight up tell him cos i didn't want to hurt his feelings. Even today, i never told him i didn't want to date him, i just said i need to focus on school, but he took that to mean whatever. I still feel bad cos i think i hurt his feelings, but I'll get over it and I'm sure he will too. I don tire.

Anyone have any tips on how to relax (I don't drink or smoke, so that's out of the question)? I've been on edge since Saturday. It's like all the cells in my body are at attention. I've been thinking of yoga but i don't know the first thing about that.

D'banj in Maryland

I love D'banj and Wande Coal. D'banj is just too razz, but he's my kind of guy. He seems like the kind of person you can never be bored around.

Wande Coal is killing me with his voice.

Tagged- 6 unspectacular quirks

I have been tagged by Bumight. The tagging bug seems to have infected a LOT of people in blogville. I thot i escaped it.


i. link the person(s) who tagged you...
ii. mention the rules in your blog
iii. tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours...
iv. tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
v. leave comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged...

6 unspectacular quirks? What??!! Everything about me is spectacular....... Whatchu' talking about? Well, i'll try to see if i can dig something unspectacular up, it's going to be hard but i'll try cos i love u guys.

1. I hate crowds. Large space, small space, as long as there's too many pple in a place, i'm uncomfortable. I have been known to not get on a crowded train regardless of how long i have to wait for the next train. I am nothingphobic. I just don't like crowds.
2. Having my body itch is the most disgusting thing to me. I feel dirty whenever my body itches. I guess it's because when i was little, whenever i would scratch my body my mom would tell me to go take a shower.
3. I have 2 personalities and i don't do it on purpose. At home, i am as goofy as can be. Once i step out the house, it's a different story. EVERYONE meeting me for the first time assumes i'm quiet. I actually look quiet. Until i get comfortable around them, then they start to wonder if i was the same person they originally met.
   
4. I would rather read a book than watch TV. I absolutely refused to see any of the Harry Potter movies. I didn't want it messing with my imagination. I've probably read over a thousand books (not an exaggeration). My favorite fantasy when i was a teenager was to be locked in a room full of books, with just food, water and a toilet for a week.
5. I used to love to talk on the phone. I have spent 6hrs on the phone at a stretch on numerous occasion. In fact i spent the last 3yrs of my life constantly on the phone. Now, i can't stand talking on the phone. I don't even want to hear my phone ring. My phone has been on vibrate since february.
6. I am allergic to Eba (garri). I get boils, start sneezing, and have serious mucus coming out my eyes whenever i eat it. I can only remember eating it twice, once when i was 9 and i told my mom she didn't know what she was talking about and the other time in boarding school when i was seriously hungry. It wasn't a good look. My paternal grandmother reacts the same way so i guess it's genetic.

I tag notperfectdotcom, goodnaijagirl, soupasexy, nigerican, dejanae, and skinnychic

What it do?

Bee to flower: Helloooooo, my flower! I have returned........ a beautiful bee!

Sorry for the break in transmission. There was some slight malfunction in my medulla or cerebellum or whatever brain part is responsible for those things. I should know, shouldn't I, after all those biology and psychology classes i took. Whatever.

I feel like i have been away for a long time although it's only been a week. So what's been happening?

1. I discovered my love for D'banj! After all these years. I still don't really like his music any more than i did b4 but i love his personality. He is so razz and i love it cos there's no sign of pretentiousness. I love him.
   
2. Wande Coal. OMG!!! I was listening to the remix of "Why me" by D'banj and i was asking myself how come i never knew D'banj had such a sweet voice. Only for my brother to tell me it was Wande Coal. I'm such a fan. He is so talented. He's definitely coming to sing at my wedding.
3. I'm looking forward to having kids (but not anytime soon). I was on the train with about 40 first graders yesterday and they were adorableeeeee, noisy but adorable. They were all so cute. What happened to all the ugly babies? I haven't been around kids that young in a very long time. Cuteness!
4. My father was right when he said i looked like i gained weight. I did. I gained 10lbs. I almost had heart attack when i weighed myself. I thot the scale was broken, so i used another one and it was the same thing. One week and i'm down 8lbs. I think i have another 15lbs to go.
5. My mother told how awesome and beautiful i am and all that good stuff. If i didn't know better i would think she read my blog.
6. They decided to give me a $2 raise at my job instead of $1 after i told them that i couldn't do the $1 raise. I'm still looking for another job, or maybe i'll just get a second job. I'm broke
7. I finally got a car. Whoo hoo!
8. I'm looking for a rich, generous boyfriend. Keyword: Generous. I've had a rich stingy boyfriend b4. So, now i know it's not just enough to say i want a rich boyfriend. You have to specify. Oh, he has to be cute too.
   
9. I really have a problem with guys who say "I love you" too soon. It worries me. I met this dude and we've been talking for 2 weeks. Keyword: TALKING. I've never met him and yet he has told me he loves me. I told him to stop and he said just because i don't feel the same way doesn't mean i should undermine his feelings. Okay oh! Sorry.
10. I am freaking BROKE. Putting the down payment on that car cleaned me out literally.
    

This is soooooooo not a poem

If my feelings were a man
he would be a battered bent old soul with a walking stick
If my feelings were a woman
she would be a sensitive, raging biatch (watch ur fingers, she bites)

I long for/crave the feeling that comes with being wanted by
someone whom I like ALSO. (Keyword; reciprocity)

U like me, I don't like u
I like u, u don't like me.
Nah!

I crave physical touch
(is there unphysical touch?)
a hug that lets me know that i'm desired
a hug that lets me know i am safe

I feel like a little piece of me is broken
but i am scared
I am scared
cos
i
can't
fix it
cos
I don't know what is bro
ken

But on days like this
I feel it
I hear it
Don't u hear it?
That annoying creaking sound
you hear it,
but u have no idea where it's coming from.

I can tell something is broken and i am worried.

I have cried buckets and buckets
of tears
and i am afraid
i no longer
know
how
to be happy

I latch unto people
often the wrong ones
and hope they help me to be happy.
but they never do.
They have no idea how to be happy,
so how can they help me?

I don't need someone to make me feel complete
but there's this
itsy bitsy thing
called
VALIDATION
I crave it.

I seek it
when i give Daddy an invitation to my honors award ceremony
and he just looks at it and throws it on the table
no "good job"
how about "i'm proud of u"
i'll take that too.
I don't even dream he'll show up
So what i graduated with a 4.0 major GPA?
or research honors?
Big freaking deal,
u can't even pass the freaking MCAT.
You should have studied Nursing like i told u to
you never listen!

So i crave validation,
and look for it in places i shouldn't
with people
i shouldn't.

When am i going to validate myself?
When am i ever going to
tell myself and
BELIEVE
that i am OK
just the way i am?

What happened to that thing called
self-esteem?
I thot i had it.
I could have sworn i had it.
Maybe the reason i can't seem to find it these days,
is that i got it from the wrong source
BOYSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

You are so cute,
you are so pretty,
you are gorgeous
so many compliments
for so long,
it is now a cliche
It no longer means anything
I am no longer flattered

Temporary validation

The people
who should have made me feel good about myself
didn't!
I felt invisible
I didn't count
I was the stubborn, rebellious teenager
(at least u heard me then)
I was the bad child
The child you couldn't stand
I felt no love
I felt shame instead.
Ashamed that i wasn't good enough
I didn't fit

Years have passed,
still, i can find no redemption.
I'm left with scars in my heart
and a pain that won't go away.

I feel like I'm broken
and I am worried
cos
I don't know
how to fix it.

I am not perfect,
but
i'll always be
ME.

(Abeg, those of u who think the title is a joke, it is not. I will not be caught dead writing a poem, as much as i hate those things. You can thank my Irish lit professor for that. I don't think someone told her when she was child that too much of everything is bad.)