Kill yourself?!!!

Kai! I don dey work since 10.30am today and i never do anything. You would think that this lack of not actually doing anything at work would make me happy cos i'm getting paid regardless but the thing tire me. Now, is there work for me to do? I'm sure there is, but forgive me if i have no interest in looking for the work. If it's not obvious, pressing work count me out, i no do. Yet, i tire like who dey farm since early morning.

I have checked my email 20x, if i've checked it once. Read blogs, finished reading my novel, hounded payroll about my money (those winches never still pay me oh!), ate three times and i've been steadily eyeing the clock. I know when it's time to go home, that's when someone will decide they have something for me to do that will take 30 minutes, like they did yesterday.

Omo mehn, i tire. I never knew lack of activity could make u tired.

Oh, i was going to gist u guys of the teenager that did a number on himself. I saw him the last day i worked at the hospital which was Saturday evening/Sunday morning. Unfortunately, my friend passed away that day and i got sidetracked. This 19yr old boy decided that he was tired of life and instead of trying to kill himself like a normal person, he decided he was going to hack himself, for lack of a better them. You need to see his body, it was like some kind of decoration in a disturbing way. He had three large gashes on his neck that was initially bandaged when i saw it.

I remember thinking "wetin do this one?". After the bandages were taken off, you could see the large cuts with stitches on them. He slit his own fucking throat! Lets not talk about the other peripheral designs that were on his neck. When i went to take his vital signs, it took a lot out of me, not to have any reaction at the state of BOTH of his arms. Have any of u ever seen the arms of someone who cuts themselves? This one was times 10 of that. There were lines and lines of both horizontal and vertical deep cuts on his arms. I've never seen anything like that. How disturbed do u have to be, to do that to urself. If i didn't know better i would wonder if they don't feel pain. I've asked a cutter b4 how she can cut herself knowing it's painful. She said you don't feel the pain until after.

Looking at him after learning that my friend passed away (yeah, another crazy friend of mine decided it would be a good idea to text me that information while i was at work), I was so pissed. Here's someone who took great pains to kill himself, yet he's still alive, being "babied" by staff. What the fuck?!!! Yet my friend who was at the prime of his life, looking to get married and settle down soon, is taken away from us without any warning. That is fucking ridiculous if u ask me.

No! I don't think my friend's life is worth more than the dude or vice versa. That doesn't stop me from being mad. Life is so not fair. I just wanted to slap him silly and say please, value ur life. Get help, go to therapy, for goodness sake do something other than trying to kill yourself. There are so many people who wish their loved ones had being given a second chance at life, but life doesn't work that way. Just Stupid! Same thing with the cutter, she had tried to kill herself 4 times. I told her to go see a therapist so she can learn better coping skills. I doubt she'll listen to me though.