Kaftan fantasy

@ Fluffycutething: This is the kaftan i was actually wearing in my day dream. I hope you like it better :)

P.S. There's a video on face book of some lesbians caught by some guys in UNIBEN and they pretty much humiliated these chics (three of them) and beat them up. Forced them to do all sorts of things with each other, told them to open their legs and filmed everything. I am traumatized to say the least. Kai! Nigerian girls dey suffer sha! People just do all sorts of things and there's no recourse. You just cry, clean your eyes and keep it moving. Anyway, i really wanted to post this video here, but i can't pull it from facebook and it's not on you tube.

I have exams all week, Monday, Wed and Fri....so you can imagine it's going to be bloody around these parts. Pray for me that i come out unscathed. No seriously, i mean it! I need prayers cos matter don hard.

Girls are still not smiling!

There are different forms of torture and this is one of it.

Miserability: A measure of how well one can function while being utterly miserable. 
Here i am thinking i have coined a word only to find out that the word already exists and it means something else. Anyway, here's my definition and i'm sticking to it. Right now, my miserability level is pretty high which simply means i am functioning very well for someone that is pretty much physically in hellfire. The question is not how do u feel, but rather how don't you feel? E no get where no dey pain me right now including my brain and my mental state, but seeing as i have 9 lectures and 4 labs left on this night's agenda i have to keep trudging along. I'm not sure how it's going to happen, but i guess med school turns u into a magician on top of everything else. After all they expect you to manufacture more hours to the day. I might need that thing Hermione had in Harry Potter, but i don't even remember the name of the thing, na there matter start to hard.

I don't like complaining about school (anymore :) on this blog. Firstly, na me send myself message. Nobody force me go med school so i shouldn't make anyone else miserable with me. Secondly, if i start complaining, i won't stop cos it's an everyday battle. Thank God no one forced me to do this, i would have made sure that person was just as miserable as i am. Right now, i only have myself to thank for this enjoyment i am experiencing.

By the way, i have so many interesting things i want to blog about but book no let me see road. Even after my exams next week, i have a thousand and one things waiting for me. Where i wan see old person to interview for this place, number one. Two, research proposal, my research mentor pretty much said he wants me to do everything. Dude won't even give me papers to read for background, i should go search for them myself (i laugh in japansese); Three, 5 page paper of the senior citizen interview, plus all the other stuff i have to do for pathway. ILP is due on Monday, i haven't written a word of it.  Jesus be a sledge hammer and knock me out of this misery. My life is wonderful.

Anyone know any stinkingly RICH Alhaji's in real life?

#okbye

Day Dreaming + Blogging Anniversary

It's a wonderful day today....I'm in my mansion chilling, thinking of the million and one leisure activities i could partake in. My life is wonderful. I'm the 7th wife of a stinking rich alhaji , have 2 daughters, 2 nannies, a maid, a cook, a houseboy, a driver and a gateman, all at my beck and call........................

I am most likely wearing this kaftan

Allow me to dream a little cos the reality is not so palatable.
Physiology! Physiology!!! Physiology!!!! How many times did i call you? It's either you kill me or i kill you cos somebody has to die and it's not going to be me. When people were standing in line for low ambition, i said nooooo....Lord! I want high ambition. Make me want to be a dokitor. Oya o! Madame, take and enjoy. I've taken it, but i don't know if i'm enjoying it. This is not life, this is just existing. I have turned to a prayer warrior, motivational speaker, comforter and cheerleader by force and it's for my own damn self.

P.S . Don't ask me why i want to marry an alhaji cos in real life i don't, neither do i want to be a 7th wife or be in a polygamous marriage for that matter. But everytime i day dream, i'm always the 7th wife of an alhaji. Tell me i don't have issues.

P.P.S. Today Jan 23rd marks my fourth anniversary as a blogger. This is actually my fourth blog which i started in 2008 but I started blogging Jan 23rd 2007. My life was very "interesting" back then. Thank God for progress and for time that makes everything better. I still love blogging as much as i did back then, even better. I hope i can continue for many, many more years. Wouldn't it be cool if i become a doctor/get married and have kids and i'm still blogging on this blog? I think it would be cool. 

When is it ok for a man to hit a woman?

If a woman slaps a man and he slaps her back with equal force or greater, is he wrong? Why or why not? Case in point



 Is there any circumstance where a man is justified or allowed to hit a woman?

I will give my answer/opinion later. I want to know what you guys think.
P.S. We have an interesting post on "Husband Beater" on Blog(s)Ville GisT. Stop by and tell us what you think.

Here's what I think. I think if a woman raises her hand and slaps a man, he is within his right to slap her back.  Yes, we all know there is a double standard around that and it is socially unacceptable for a man to hit a woman. At the same time, we all look the other way when women hit men and they do it all the time. Slaps (sometimes in public) seem to be the preferred choice of attack. Oh, he's looking at another woman while with me, how disrespectful. Slap! and prances off in dignified anger, that's if she doesn't pour her drink over him first.

The point of that example was just to illustrate how trivial the reason for the slap can be sometimes. Meanwhile some women who are the devil's direct spawn can drive a man crazy and he dare not lift a finger and touch her. I think the women who are prone to those violent outbursts know that it is not acceptable for a man to hit them so some of them take it and run with it. I think this is one double standard that is in our "favor" and some women abuse it. I don't support or condone domestic violence in any way shape or form but i think if you as a woman for whether reason raises your hand and slaps a man and he slaps you back, you really don't have any leg to stand on. You totally asked for it. What if his slap is more painful because there's more force behind it? Good for you. No be you first slap am? Maybe next time you will think twice before hitting someone. 

 Now if the guy takes it a step further and beats you up....that is a whole nother story. That should be the end of that relationship in my book, especially if you guys are still dating. No need to work on that relationship.

Like i said earlier, i don't support domestic violence AT ALL. There should be no hitting going on in the first place. Resolve your issues verbally, not physically!!!! But i think that chic in the video deserved that slap she got. I really do!

Tell me what you think

Versatile and Stylish Blogger

I have been awarded the stylish and versatile award by Ibhade (Ms. Nitty Gritty), Myne Whitman and Naijamum. Thanks guys. I know there are rules involved, but i will be doing the "quick" version of the award. Forgive me, my time is no longer my own.

7 things about myself.............

1. On a good day or not so good day, i look 5 -7 yrs younger than i actually am. It has always been that way even when i was a teenager. In dec. I had a 17yr old pretty much ask me if i was sure i was not a teenager while we were trying to teach them about STDs. There goes all my authority. 
2. I really like to cook and try new recipes and tweak pre-existing recipes. I never cooked (or hardly ever) while growing up. I just discovered i liked cooking so much after i started med school. That's the only good thing med school has done for me so far.
3. I love my baby niece to death. She's my boo boo, the current love of my life. I miss her so much. Advise to everyone out there, if you can't have a baby of your own right now, have a niece! I don't care how u acquire one, just get one. They are awesome and you can refuse to change their poopy diapers and no one will be mad at you :)
4. I'm currently interested in hematology/oncology as a specialty but i don't know how long that's going to last. 
5. I enjoy match making people. I had one couple last 7 yrs. Well, they are my only success story but i'm trying again maybe this time i'll have one actually make the altar. No, i will not be hooking any of you up. Now if you want to pay me.....that's another story ;)
6. I like the idea of a Sugar boy...which is pretty much an age appropriate version of a Sugar daddy :). That's my definition o! There might be another definition floating around, but you won't hear it from me. Google it. Not holding my breath for that one. 
7. I think some boys are crazy. I really do. That's the quick and easy way to explain some of the things they do. People with mental problems all running around with cute faces and chics with bigger mental problems pursuing these crazy guys. It's a sick world i tell ya!

Nigerian Women and their expiration date

Back in the day when women were hens, this beast of a man was telling my sister that he cannot date a woman who is older than 23, that anything above that has expired. I didn't pay him any attention because it did not apply to me at the time, but i thought it was odd because this man was claiming 31 at the time (come to find out he was actually 41, but that's another story for another day). Point is, this was my first initiation into the thinking of such species of Nigerian men.

Since then, i have seen many instances of "old" men trying to marry "young" girls. These girls are not the love of their lives! It's not just the regular relationship of older dude with younger chic. No! I'm talking of these guys in their 30s specifically targeting chics that are 10 years or more younger. I don't understand it, so that's why I have brought it to you guys attention so you can please tell me why before i slap somebody by mistake. Can you imagine someone telling me that i should not let life teach me a lesson just because i said i wasn't ready to get married anytime soon? I guess my marketability as a Nigerian chic is reducing with each year that passes and i get older. I was discussing this issue with a friend who was in a relationship where the dude was 10yrs older than her and the only reason we could come up with is that maybe they want someone that is so much younger than them so that they can mold and shape this chic to their liking. In order words, be able to be the lord and master in the house and have absolute control over her. I don't know if this is the reason! Maybe they just want a trophy wife and be able to brag about her.

I just want to understand why. I mean, wouldn't it be reasonable to look for someone close to your age? What would someone in their mid thirties have in common with a 19 year old? I know it's not all white and black but my issue is with the Nigerian men who think that any woman above 25 year old is too old for them. I'm surprised that these species of men still exist in this day and age. No wonder all these small, small girls in Nigeria are in a rush to get married. Everywhere i turn, X has married, Y has married, Z has married. If i knew the marriage industry was going to be booming in naija like this, maybe i wouldn't have wasted my time going to med school. I should have gone to be a wedding coordinator or something.

Anyway, if you people know these men, warn them o and help me ask them which bush they were created in.

God is not a native doctor

We've all heard of the pastor Chris money collecting issue, that's old news at this point. I was on Linda Ikeji's blog reading comments and i noticed this common trend which i have noticed before when she put up a post about "Men of God" who are living luxurious, extravagant lives. Why are Nigerians foolish when it comes to religious issues? Where do we draw the line between loving and serving God and becoming ignorant?

This is what gets me.....why do people talk about God as if he is a vengeful person that would strike you dead with fire and brimstone if you dare question any pastor? It's almost like people think God will behave like Amadioha who will strike you with a thunderbolt if he's mad at you. There's all this....pls don't say anything bad about any MOG o! I'm warning you! Don't say i didn't warn you. Others are not so nice about it, blatantly proclaiming curses on people who dare say anything about "God's anointed" Uhmmm....who no be God's anionted? I'm sorry but i have to ask this question, If i come out tomorrow and say i want to be a pastor, do i suddenly become God's anointed.

Nigerians annnnnnnnnooooooooooyyyyyyyy me to no end about how they view religion and how God operates. I can't with this people. God did not make us to be stupid and abandon our common sense because we are blindly following a spiritual leader who at the end of the day is a HUMAN BEING like me and you. These people are made of flesh and blood therefore they can make mistakes!!! We should not follow anyone blindly, but at the end of the day i understand that you lose your objectivity when you are in the middle of something. I know because i went to a church that had some weird ass practices for years and years. In fact, i grew up in that church therefore everything they did was normal to me. When everyone was criticizing the church, i defended it.

Anyway, that's a different story for another day. My point is, pastors, preachers, whatever are regular human beings and they should also be subject to the checks and balances applied to other people and situations. We can't all just keep quiet and be scared to say something because we are afraid that God will be mad at us and punish us severely for questioning the activities of his preachers. God is not a native doctor o! People should stop using him to threaten other people and instill fear in them so that they are no longer free to voice their opinion. I just believe (my) God doesn't operate that way. Even Jesus spoke out against the people that turned his temple into a money making place. I know i'm not wrong on this, my sunday school teacher did a good job so i know a little something something, just don't be looking at me to be quoting the bible word for word, it's not going to happen.

Good luck to us all in our journey to find Christ and have a personal relationship with him. 

Expiration Date

Instead of studying this boring, boring, oh so boring stuff i have to study for school, as is common practice with me, I've been sitting here thinking. I mean, my thoughts are way more interesting than this crap in front of me but that's neither here nor there. After i have finished making mouth and stalling, i will still sit down and memorize the crap and know it like the back of my hand, Anyway, i digress.

So i've been thinking about the people who have come in and out of my life. Some of them make perfect sense and some of them don't. I remember when i was struggling to deal with a certain friendship issue, a friend pointed out to me that the person i was agonizing over might have played the role they were meant to play in my life and that their part in the story of my life was over. That was the only thing that made sense to me at the time and it's still the only thing that makes sense even now.

It just occured to me today that like most things, even friendships can have expiration dates. We can say "Oh, it's good for 7 days after its expiration date or at most 6 months after its expiration date".

Maybe......but use at your own risk.

I've learned that there are some things you can't force and one of those things is friendship. You can't force someone who has no interest in being your friend to be friends with you. You just become an irritant, pathetic and pretty much a loser. Yeah, i said it. You know when someone doesn't want to be friends with you, why force the issue? You can't hold on to something that's not meant to be. You can try but it usually never works out and things are way more messier than they would have been if you had just let go initially.

It's actually sad, but i've become so cynical about friendship especially with females. I do the best i can, satisfy my conscience and move on. People are interesting though, that much i can say. There are some people i am very happy to be rid off and there are others I wish things had turned out differently but i accept that our friendship expired and we both had to move on. I believe that true forever friends are extremely difficult to find. I can only think of two people who qualify and i haven't seen either of them since 2002. America hasn't been kind to me in the friendship department. My negative experience with people have left me very jaded and with very little tolerance for people.

Just because you hang out with someone doesn't make them your friend. Know that! A lot of people have no idea what that word means and they continue to hang out with snakes and rats all in the name of friendship. Be wise.

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life. ~ Lee Iacocca

Too Westernized

5 years! That’s the landmark…..once you reach that magic number of 5 years of living in America, you automatically change. You become less Nigerian and more American.

Really?!!!  Yes….. really.

So how does it happen? Is it magic?
Well….not really magic and I’m not sure how it happens, but trust me it does. I know all this crazy Nigerian chics and they have all been here more than 5 years and I know they were not like that in Nigeria.

So what does it mean to be westernized?

• Once you start to think that you and a man are equal and the only thing different between the two of you is your anatomy. 
• When you start to expect that you be equal partners in a relationship and expect roles to be shared based on strengths rather than prescribed gender roles.
• When you become aware that you have a voice and decide to use it. 
• When you start to expect things out of a relationship that your fore-mothers didn’t dream of expecting, 
• When you don’t worship the ground your man walks on and kneel down to serve him his meals simply because he's a man.
• When you don’t quietly take all a man dishes out to you just because you really need a man and he happens to be the last man alive.
• When you dare mention the word police even as the man decides to reconstruct and redecorate your face even though he is not a plastic surgeon. That is so not Nigerian.

You see, a real Nigerian woman, will sit there and take it. She was properly brought up and knows her place. What’s the big deal about her man cheating? All men cheat, it’s in their DNA. Your mom took it and looked the other way, why can’t you? Is it because you are now in America, you now think you can open your mouth and talk? He’s beating you and so what? It’s a man’s duty as the head of the household to keep his family in check. What’s a few slaps here and there? You know women are naturally hysterical creatures and their brains need to be reset with some hard knocks every now and then. Sit there, shut up and take it. If he hits you too hard, you can cry o! Ehen, nobody said you can’t cry, but don’t be wailing and making all that noise thereby disturbing your man’s precious sleep. You know as the head of the household, he needs all the rest he can get. Never mind that you work 12 hour shifts Monday through Friday. Your fellow nurses who have as many kids as you do, only work 3 days out the week, but your husband insists that you have to work the money he spent sending you to nursing school after all, you are his investment.

How can you as a Nigerian woman who was properly raised expect a man to help you around the house? Do dishes? Wake up in the middle of the night and help with the baby? You have lost your damn mind and you better do something about trying to find it ASAP. You don’t know that real Nigerian women are made of steel? Tired? What is that? Sleep? That shit is for the birds. Nigerian women are man, woman and more man all rolled up in one. So really they are 2 parts man and one part woman, which makes them more man than their men, who just happen to be one part man. Ha ha ha! I know.  

God knew what he was doing when he came up with that formula. So shut up and stop whining about nothing. You can take it. After all, if you do anything other than what your great-grand mother, grand-mother and mother did, you will be accused of being too westernized and that my friends is the greatest insult that can be bestowed on a "real" Nigerian woman. So stand up for yourself at your own risk. Expect more at your own risk. Get a voice and use it at your own risk. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

OMG! You are so westernized!!!!!
Did you really say that to me? You hurt me in my heart…..my heart bleeds. I am devastated. Yeah right!

P.S. I can officially say i have put up a post while in the air. Go google chrome. Thanks for the free internet cos God knows i was not willing to pay $10 just to get online while flying. Airtran rocks too, but i'm still not paying you guys $10 for nothing.

Blog(s)Ville GisT

The one productive thing i did this break besides sleep and watch Nigerian movies was work on Blog(s)Ville GisT. There is still a lot of work to be done, but i think it's slightly better than it was before. I have less than 24 hours before i get super busy but i will try to update both blogs as much as i can. I make no promises. I have a couple of people who are now part of the Blog(s)Ville GisT team, so i think that would make a difference in terms of the frequency of updates.

If you follow my blog and don't follow Blog(s)Ville GisT, wag of the finger to you :) Please, support your girl and follow. Constructive criticisms and suggestions are very welcome. If you have anything you would like to promote, events, your blog (yourself lol), prose, whatever, Blog(s)Ville GisT is the place for you and it's free too. Am i not nice? ;)

So please check out my pet project, show your support and follow. One love, people.