Proof

Remember when i wrote about my brother and his 8 pack? Well, i ventured back to facebook and found this picture on his profile and i downloaded it for your viewing pleasure.

By the way, he's single and very eligible. He's a fine boy even if i say so myself (hey! he looks like me so he better be fine).

Novel Haul

For someone who just spent the last 5 months being force fed information at an alarming rate, you would think that last thing i would want to do is touch a book. Noo......being the weirdo that i am, one of the things i do after every exam is this.........

I go on a novel haul. I usually go after every block but I didn't do that this year after any of the blocks because i was fighting a battle. Anyhoodle, i had some from last year, about 10 that i hadn't read. I managed to read 3 or 4 during by back and forth trips home for spring break. I went to Walmart yesterday and the store i get my books is beside it. I had no intention of getting any book but i couldn't help myself. I then decided to just get 2 books since i am majorly broke. Hmm....ok! Here are the two books i got.

Can you tell what my favorite genre is?  Total cost for all 9 books = $7.59

Thing is, the books are .79 cents each. I stopped buying new books years ago because
a) I'm broke
b)I read so much and so fast, there was no way i could afford to keep up my reading habit if i was buying new books at $6.99 a book.

I did buy all the Harry Potter books for $20 a book on they day they each came out. I didn't care they were $20, i just wanted to read the book. Funny how i stopped buying new books, I had gone to Walden books at the mall and bought 2 books for about $13  and then that same week i found out about buying used books from thrift stores. I took myself to Value Village and bought 14 books for the same amount. That's where the madness started. Come to find out that Good Will was cheaper than Value Village (which i thought was dirt cheap) but i only went there once because Value Village was closer.

I can't tell you the madness i used to perform back in Atlanta. I would go to the store and fill a cart with books (I swear). I ended up spending close to $50 one time, you can imagine how many books there were. I bet the cashier thought i was crazy or i sold the books or something. I had 2 bookcase FULL of books, double stacked. I would read them, donate and go back for more. Hey. Some people are into shoes and clothes, i love to read.

I found some pictures i took when i was packing to go to med school. I was going to donate the rest of my books, but my mom wanted me to leave them, so i did.

Bookcase 1 (you can't see the lower level which has books too)

Books to Donate

Books on top Bookcase 2.  I don't have a picture of Bookcase 2 which was bigger than Bookcase 1

The funny thing is 90% of the book i read are historical romance novels (in case you couldn't tell by looking at the books. I used to read every genre voraciously when i was in Nigeria. I even joined a book club where all my pocket money went because you had to pay to rent the books. Junior year when i started get really busy with school after i came here (work, research, full time classes), i had to chose my leisure reading carefully and I knew i would always enjoy a historical romance, so that's what i ended up going for and before you know it, I because 100% into them. Little ol' feminist me. SMH. I'm not thinking of feminism when i read these books, but there was one particular one, i vividly remember flinging across the room because it was so STUPID. I couldn't bring myself to finish it.

Besides historical romance, which is my genre of choice, i read other things but nothing specific. When i was still in undergrad we had a browsing section were they had contemporary novels and i would always get novels from there. As busy as i was in senior year of undergrad, i still managed to read one or two novels a week, mostly on the train going back and forth from school. Med school has brought all that leisure reading to a grinding HALT. I still manage but the state of my leisure reading these days is abysmal.The last time i went on a novel haul after a block exam last year, i couldn't find historical romance novels that i liked so i decided to do Fern Michaels. I had read a couple of his books in undergrad.

I still haven't gotten around to reading these

I actually bought about 7 Fern Michael books, but i took 2 home when i went on spring break and didn't see the need to bring them back since i already read them. I have read most of John Grisham's books by the way. I couldn't remember if i had read The Brethren, so i bought it again just in case. I tried to get into Stephen King. My imagination is too vivid to do horror movies or horror books. I can't it. I still remember It though. That book scared me shitless but i still finished reading it.

So i've laid my madness for you guys to see. Don't judge me harshly. I'm really not a nerd, i just have nerdish tendencies. Ok fine, i'm a nerd. Just a little. Small. Tiny. Itty bitty. You couldn't tell by looking at me though :) One of my older sisters loves shoes and she has a walk in customized shoe closet (no lie). That's her thing. This is my thing......although med school is trying really hard to take it away. When i was still in Nigeria maybe 10 years ago, someone asked me how many books i had read because anytime he saw me, i was always with a book. Back then, my answer was over a thousand and that was without exaggeration. Now, i wouldn't even bother estimating. I no longer have a clue.

I used to write too.....surprise, surprise. I was known in  JSS for my "novels". People used to wait for me to write my stories so they could read it. No joke. We were in boarding school and jobless. I wrote my first story (i can't call that a novel) in Primary 5. Most of my stories were set in Nigeria. My favorite book of all time still remains The Concubine, by Elechi Amadi. Anyway, the last time i wrote anything was 2008. I can't blame Med school for taking that away from me. I blame TRYING to get into med school for that. I feel my creative juices are dried up and i don't even bother anymore. The only things i write these days are Lamentations....lol. I'm serious. I might share some of them with you guys one day.

I think this reading thing runs in families because i'm not the only one who loves to read in my family. I have only one sister who doesn't like to read. My 16 yr old niece is just like me, if not worse and she's been into reading since she was little. My nephew reads too. My brother used to read a lot and write also. He has won awards for his short stories and poems. No joke. 2 in high school and one in undergrad. We both submitted stories for our undergrads yearly publication and of course his story was picked and mine wasn't. Yet, i taught that sucker how to read :)

Ok, this post is long enough. I hereby relieve u all of your reading duties. Toodles!

P.S I made a video of my testimony but now i don't want to put it up. See wahala. I promised, so i will deliver. Soon. I just have to psych myself up and pray that you guys can tolerate the sight of my ugly face :)

I is Bored/Don't know what to do with myself

•  It feels good to be a BALLER! Woot woot!
• I don't know what to do with myself. 
• 2 nights after my exams and i still haven't slept a full night. Went to bed at 3am both nights. 
• Have i ever told you guys that i'm a masochist? No? Ok.....I'm a masochist.
• I need to get a summer job. My summer research plans fell through cos my mentor never bothered to fill out his part of the application so i couldn't even compete for funding. Therefore, i did not get funding to do research. I am really mad at him, but i still sent him an email (like 5 mins ago) thanking him for his time and apologizing things didn't work out.Winch!
• This dude ignored me when i emailed him after spring break to please complete my application and this is after i had to submit an incomplete application over a month before because i didn't want to miss the deadline
• He is such a bitch, but i have to be professional cos i might be jamming him during clinical years. I don't need any extra awkwardness.
• Sugabelly.......When are you going to announce the winner of your give away. Some people (mainly me) are really interested to see if they won. Oya o!
• Sometime this year something happened that kind of got out of hand, mainly because i'm hot headed and like to say even though i don't start trouble, i don't run away from it :) Anyhoodle, i just wanted to say, I'm sorry to the person whom i made uncomfortable and pretty much called out. I never want to make anyone uncomfortable in blogsville, that's not my purpose. So dear girl, I is sorry :)
• Watch this space for my testimony. It's set and ready to go. I'm debating whether to put it up, but i promised so i will, eventually.
• About to go finish my magnesium citrate prescribed by my GI doc. If you don't know what magnesium citrate does google it. 
• I need to work up enough interest to watch Nigerian movies. I have to be in a certain mood cos it's not easy to watch a movie with 4 parts that's 4 hrs long and i like to finish what i start. I'm an amebo, i need to know how it ends. 
• Please recommend good nigerian movies.....I don't want to be doing trial and error with those movies.
• I don't know what to do with myself.............................
• Ok, i have go, abi is it i have went? Ok.....i don comot. Bah bye!

Flourishing finish

I witnessed a miracle today
I am now a true believer
I'm going to church on Sunday
(Hopefully)

Hmm....I actually haven't been to church this year. Me and my DIY christian ways. God is alive and well. He knows my name. God has blessed me. Thank you God!

I should be shouting, jumping, screaming, somersaulting, dancing butterfly......but i'm too tired. I have slept a full night (8hrs) twice since March 21st. Most nights i get 2 hrs from 10pm -12am and another 2 hrs from 5am -7am. I guess if you add it, it's four hours? Right now i have a stress headache, i am hungry but no appetite. I am in awe. I am happy, but you can't tell by looking at me.

Watch this space for my testimony when i start to feel like a human being again. It's a good one.

God has blessed me
Thank you God!

Fine, i'll just cut to the chase.....I won the lottery for $250,000. I'm rich, bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the last day as predicted....is there going to be a peach drop?

Taking time out of my marathon study sesh to ask..........Una don ready to rapture?

I'm sure i will be here wellemly come Sunday. Goodluck :) to the rapturable.

P.S. Na today world dey end? When i was in primary 6, one man sold all his property claiming the world was about to end. Was the world not supposed to end Jan 1, 2000?  Tomorrow go come and go, and i go still dey here with book wey no let me see road. Abegi!


ETA @ 4.47am, May 21st.

How is the world supposed to end again? Cos e be like say one of my neighbors don rapture (along with her car). I guess all the people who usually comment on my post have raptured too. Hmmm....na only me remain? I need to start calling people to take account of who's left or the rapture never start? Is it starting in the evening? I need answers o!

If you live in GA, you should get my peach drop reference. Shout out to all my ATL pple!!!!

Turban

Ok..call me a hater if you like. I don't know u so it really doesn't matter but there's nothing i hate more than a TREND! It just has this follow-follow smell that i can't stand. Everybody and their mama is now tying a turban. Why? People are so unoriginal. Must you copy everything. What's the big deal about tying a scarf with a big bump in the front anyway? Remember when trying a scarf on your neck facing forward was the thing to do? EVERYBODY did and over did it. It was so annoying. Anyway, i've never been one for trends or anything that makes me look like everyone else. I even went through a no jeans wearing phase, but jeans are a staple so they don't count. It's the skinny jeans and ballet flat thing now. Even people who have absolutely no business wearing skinny jeans are wearing skinny jeans. Sigh! I wonder what's next.

That's why i like people who truly have style. Being fashionable doesn't make you stylish.

Rant over. Back to the books.

Where did my last post go?

Blogger really had a field day the last couple of days. Couldn't leave comments, sign in or do anything. Una well done o. After you are done fooling yourselves and dealing with ur maintenance issues pls put my last post back up. I sacrificed 15 mins of sleep to type that post!!!

P.S. I have been asked to make demands from Naija. Anything i want will be fulfilled. Well.....except for the fried snails i really want or the Suya, or Kilishi or even Gala. Le sigh. The only thing i could think of was Golden Morn. I used to request Naija movies but thanks to NollywoodLove and Bunibuni, i no longer have to do that.

So people please, help a sister out. What do i want from naija?

Today........

.................I was a fattie and that is all. I lost 8 freaking lbs in less than 2 weeks. Blame it on stress and oatmeal. I think i gained it all back today. I am officially an emotional eater. I can't deny it anymore. I just needed to feel like a human being. So with my bottle of frozen water on my head secured firmly with my hoodie (don't ask me any questions), i sat on my couch, turned on the TV, lucked in on The office, microwaved some rice and chicken at 10.30pm, even though i was nowhere near hungry, carried a set of lecture notes and powered through.

In case u missed it.....I'm a seasoned multitasker (yeah roight). I ate, watched tv and studied at the same time. For all of 30 minutes. I just needed to finish that lecture and that makes lecture 38 of 84. So yeah, back to my fattie day. I started the day off craving fried snails that i haven't had in over 9 yrs, i had oatmeal for breakfast, 2 sandwiches for lunch and a banana muffin. Then some peanuts, half a cookie, and some juice. I'm usually not a big eater. I was full but wanted to eat something hence the rice. Right now my stomach is uncomfortably full but i feel better. So i'm off to take a 30 min power nap. I can't believe i just spent time blogging when i should have been napping. I have issues.

Does anyone know where to get this in America or should i just curb my long throat until i make it back to naija (if ever)?

Day of the Vaginas

This witch really had 73 slides in one lecture. I finally finished, thank you Jesus. I didn't think i was going to be able to update this blog until after my exams, but it literally takes me 10 mins so i might as well offload. Went to my mentor's clinic today and it was bloody. Literally. When i went last week, without any warning this lady is going to ask the patient "Is it okay if Student Doctor Sting does a brief pelvic exam?". I wanted to run out the room. Pelvic kini? I begged Jehovah that she would say no, but i don't think my prayer had time to reach heaven cos it took her all of 2 seconds to say "that's fine". They always say yes....Why?

Anyhoodle, that's how i had my first experience with KY jelly and a vagina that wasn't mine. Feel the ovaries, and the uterus blah blah. I didn't feel anything, all that was going through my head was "OMG, OMG, OMG!!!! My fingers are in someone's vagina! Hummm....i think my fingers are too short cos i can't feel anything". I survived that experience and went back again for more. Mind you, for those of you that are wondering, I'm not in an Ob/Gyn rotation which usually happens in third year. I'm technically supposed to be seeing my clinical mentor so i can see how things work and maybe practice blood pressure taking, interviewing and those basic stuff. (I think). I guess when she told me she was hands on, she wasn't joking.

So today was my last official day of going to her clinic. We have to do 6 visits but i only did 5 and she forgave me the last one. I ended up doing a half a pap smear,collected the cultures or whatever after the doctor inserted the speculum. Then i did one by myself,  inserted the speculum (or whatever it's called) collected the culture and all that good stuff and took it out. With help and direction of course. I have to work on talking to the patient as i do it. I have no clue what i'm doing so what does she expect me to say when she says tell them what you are about to do "Erm.....i'm about to open ur lips and stick this thing through....blood of Jesus". Med school can make you look like a fool. I'm so not looking forward to third year.

I did another pelvic exam and didn't freak out this time.I still didn't feel anything, but at least i attempted to move my fingers the way i was instructed.  I also watched a mirena (IUD) get inserted. I did a couple of breast exams too. One of the breast exams was a TRIPLE DDD. Na wa. This was the lady i did the pap smear on. She's having trouble with those large breasts, and you can see where her bra straps are cutting into her skin. Too much of everything is bad. I could talk about the hair on her chest, in her arm pit and the smell of her vagina, but i won't. I just felt the need to really wash my hands after i got home. I don't remember ever being this put off by cadavers. I guess i like dead bodies better. lol. Not really.

Remember to send positive thoughts my way cos i need all the prayers and good vibes i can get. This people want to kill a sister. I'm surviving on 2hrs of sleep a day. Yesterday, i managed to sleep for 6 hrs. Unauthorized sleep courtesy of a renegade body. I no gree wake up o. I still was up at 4am and have only slept an hour and half since then.

Adios

While waiting for my notes to print........

.................i hereby present to you, a whole bunch of nothing really or something. You chose.

I'm an agbaya. I like animated movies. Now you know what to get me for my birthday

. 

I added to my "wall of inpsiration". Add a healthy does of fear to that cos you need that to keep you on your toes.

Wait! There's more.

The thing that might be the death of me. Ignore the text book. I have to learn everything in those notes for the CUMULATIVE FINAL. Those bastids!!! Bastards does not cut it.

In case you didn't see it properly the first time. 84 lectures and 8 labs. Only God knows how many pages. 3 weeks of sleepless nights.

Neuro is also a cumulative final. It's a baby compared to phys (size wise). I don't know which i'm more scared of. They are both beasts. Don't be fooled by the size of the notes. 

Added more to my wall of inspiration. I had to. Fear don dey catch me.

My med school analogy. Med school is the shark obviously and we all know which one I am. Definitely not the angel in case you are confused.

Hand held massager courtesy of the Madre. Lord knows i need it. Whether it works or not, is a different story.

Let's not forget this thing that can wake up the dead. I almost broke my neck 2 days ago diving out of bed to turn it off.
I'm scared to use it sometimes cos i think it will give me a heart attack one of these days. I can't tell you how many times i have been shocked out of sleep. Anyway, it's serving its purpose so i can't complain. That's not to say i've never turned it off and gone back to sleep. Body no be firewood. I just took this picture. Yes, it's really almost 3am and the alarm is set for 5.30am.

And that's all she wrote. My jealous lover calls. I shall be spending the night romancing CTB, we shall wine and dine on the male and female reproductive system.

Adios.

Brand name Food

After being on this this earth for 150 years or there about, 2009 was the very first time i ate a salad. I fought against it. It was disgusting, food for goats, i was too much of a carnivore to ever put that goat food in my mouth. In the midst of my loud protestations about my hatred for anything vegetables, my scale kept getting more faulty and faulty and telling me i was getting bigger. Well, all good things must come to an end and you can only pretend for so long that your clothes no longer fit.

So i decided to submit myself to the indignity of eating vegetables. Me, a future doctor, who had never had any kind of raw vegetable enter this mouth ever, ever, ever. I was the "hold the tomato and lettuce" chic. Onions? God forbid. Over my dead body. My burger was usually just bun, meat and mayo. I had my first salad and didn't die. It actually wasn't so bad. Surprise, surprise, i actually liked it. I thought i had died and a demon had possessed my body the day i was craving a salad. Who was this alien chic? I still don't eat raw onions though, that would literally be over my dead body.

Well, i have come a long way from 2009. I am now a bonafide vegetable eating future doctor. I buy mixed vegetables, add shrimp and eat it with brown rice. I love my salad, fish, croutons and creamy french dressing.

Aha.....creamy french dressing. I don't know why i picked it the very first day i went to get dressing for my salad after my sister had told me to stop being a neanderthal and stop eating salad without dressing. I am a very picky eater and hate a lot of tastes, usually anything remotely garlicky (reason why i stick with what i know i like, for the most part). I looked at the wide selection of dressings and decided that creamy french dressing was the most harmless looking and had the least yuck factor.

Long story short, it changed my life or at least my salad eating life. I got the Great Value (Walmart) brand, over the Kraft brand mainly because of the price, but as i was to find out later, all creamy french dressings are not created equal. When i went back to school last August and was stocking up my refrigerator, i decided to buy the Kraft brand. Big mistake!!! That shit was oily and generally nasty and i couldn't bring myself to use it more than twice. It sat in my fridge until it expired this year.

Point of this post? Great Value Creamy French Dressing is awesome. Kraft brand? Not so much.

Moral of this story?  Well, i didn't have one when i started this post but i do now.
Brand name is not always the best. However, be very careful and wary of Great Value Cornflakes. Oh my Jesus, those things nearly broke my teeth. I tried it that one time (after watching a consumer report on TV that said brand name food are the same as store brand), and didn't bother to finish the packet, how am i going to explain to people that in trying to save $1, i was left toothless and brained shocked (don't bother trying to understand that, i just made it up). You know how when you are eating beans that has stones in it and you bite into one unexpectedly? Na so o! I just respected my old age and went back to my dear Kelloggs Cornflakes. No be me kill Jesus.

Nemesis- Part Deux

Here's the second installment in my Nemesis series.  After this, coming up would be the "Sit your ass down and study physiology" series. Part 1-84. True story.

This story is about a young couple who had it all, looks, good careers and 2 lovely kids. However, we all know that nothing is ever as perfect as it seems. Dude was a little bitch/man whore who chased anything in skirts. The young suffering wife took it all in stride because she loved him and wanted to keep her family together. Problem was he had a particular mistress who was a pain in the butt! This lady had the guts to call the wife one day to curse her out. The wife then called back to insult the mistress and her husband got mad at her for doing that which of course led to a big fight.

This lady who chose to stay in her marriage (like a lot of women do) was becoming a nervous wreck over this issue as the man didn't even bother hiding the affair at this point. He spent nights with his mistress and both extended families were aware of the situation. I know some people would say polygamy is a part of our culture so no big deal. I beg to differ. If you marry a man knowing fully well he was into polygamy, that's a different story, but a lot of Nigerian couples these days are into monogamy. One man, one wife!
 Anyhoodle, this lady was still determined to make the marriage work. To get a breather from the madness, when she got her leave and her kids were on holiday she travelled abroad with her 2 kids for a month. Wrong move, as this gave her husband the visa to stay with his mistress. This chic had no source of livelihood but depended solely on men to pay her rent and take care of her. Infact, instead of this guy to take care of his responsibilities at home, he spent his salary on his chic leaving his wife to bear the full load.

The wife came back with her kids and decided to stay with her sister because of the shame. Friends and extended families intervened, but all in vain.This guy then brought this mistress to his matrimonial home which irked his in-laws who came to have a showdown with him. His wife then went to rent another apartment when she saw that the battle was lost BUT the husband refuse to let her pack out her belongings. She then appealed to friends who talked to him. He agreed on the condition that she would give him his son while she keeps their daughter.She refused and left ALL her belongings for him and his mistress. It was then the mistress realized it was the wife that had ALMOST all the belongings in the house up to the beds they slept on and she was the one paying the house rent!

This guy had a good job and was well paid but left most of his responsibilities to his wife who didn't have a problem picking up his slack as she was also well paid. He pretty much spent his money clubbing and having fun. The mistress' family have come to know him as their in-law while his family has washed their hands off the issue since he refused to heed to their warnings. After much prayers they realized the dude was under a spell. As the story goes, they figured the gal used her private part (lol) and that as long as he continues to sleep with her, his sense of reasoning would be beclouded. This mistress had the balls to warn another girlfriend of his off. (No forget say the man na ashawo). She thinks she's special.

Apparently, the man reasons well with his friends when mistress is not around but when she comes, he begins behaving like mumu would tells her what they all said about her. It got to the point that his friends don't tell him anything anymore because she had the guts to confront one of the friends about what he said about her. The guy's younger brother told her bluntly what she was doing to another woman was wrong, and she reported him to his brother who tongue-lashed him. The brother has refused to go to his brother's house.

Now mistress is pregnant and the guy is already tired after just a few months of living together. He has started staying out nights, and the mistress (he has not married her yet or done any official introduction) is complaining and pressurizing him to complete his building so that they would move to a new neighborhood where people  they don't know about them because the whole street is aware of their story and many are cold towards her. In fact, the guy confided in a friend that he is hoping and praying for a miscarriage! He does not want any child from her, he is satisfied with his kids from his wife, but he does not know what to do. The friend didn't say anything because he might go and tell her. She is currently about 5 months pregnant and he is tired of the expenses she is adding since she does not have a source of income. Infact, he knows little or nothing about her! A friend once asked him if she was a graduate, but he could not give a congent answer, he said she said, she had diploma, diploma in what? he could not say! But she is living off his salary while when he was with his wife, she was the one who spent money on the family.

Mistress is not happy in her 'marriage' because the guy has been showing the other side of himself. From the way we see things, the guy would eventually dump  or abandon her and go back to his wife whom he has been sending love text messages to all the time!  This is why the wife believes the mistress had bewitched him because he is handsome and comfortable and she is a penniless gold digger looking for who to take care of her! I don't know why women think they will be different. What he did to his wife, he will do to you. Why do you think you are special? If you decide you want to be a mistress, stay a mistress and don't look to take over someone's home. It never ends well. Like i said, you are not special.

THE END

P.S. Na as i hear the story, na so i talk am. I don't know how well i believe that he was charmed. Most men think with their third leg on a very good day anyway. But you know, as Nigerians we all try to make sense of senseless situations the best way we can. Methinks the dude is just an irresponsible man. E no dey hard them.

P.P.S Shout out to my most recent followers, 3 of whom happen to be from Ghana. Woot, woot! I love my African people. If i survive this semester, i plan to "diversify" my knowledge base about other African countries. Like i said in an earlier post, i think Kenyans are pretty cool but i know nothing about them. Time to learn more about other African countries. Yes, i was born and raised in Nigeria, i know. I should do better.

Donald Trump Trumped = Winning

THIS MADE MY DAY!!!!!! HE GOT FRIED!