Older and Wiser?

I've heard that as a girl gets older she's more likely to lower her standards and settle for someone that she never would have looked at in her younger years. Settling.....that ugly word. I've actually seen it happen but i don't think there's a single reason why that happens. I had a good friend tell me she keeps going back to her douchebag boyfriend because no one else is checking for her and he's the only one who's ever mentioned marriage. I said Chineke! What is wrong with you? At the end of the conversation, i had to resort to begging her to reconsider her stance and not to settle for crap because she wants to get married. This my friend is very pretty....i don't understand her reasoning. Very baffling.

Anyway, I think that as we get older and have had some experiences, it's easier to determine what's important vs. what's silly in our list of requirements. Let me use myself as an example. This time last year, if you had asked me if i would date a guy who i'm older than, i would have said a big fat NO! Even if he was a day younger, i wouldn't have. As liberal as i am, there's this (Nigerian) traditional side of me that won't let me date a younger guy. Naija girls close to me have done it. My older sister has dated a guy younger than her with 4 years. A former close friend dated a guy 4 years younger than her. Still, i couldn't wrap my head around that concept. I remember when i was a Junior in college and a guy who was 2 years younger than me asked me to be in a relationship with him. My response to him was "what am i going to do with you?" Straight up! I realized later that that was a little too blunt, but that's what popped into my head. I was surprised cos he is Nigerian too and i didn't think they were down with dating older chics. We stayed friends after that but he never went back there. Last year, same thing but this was a very close friend who has always liked me unbeknownst to me but he was 3 months younger than me. I quickly shut it down not just because of the age although that was a major factor.

Anyway, beginning of this year, i met someone who was almost 2 months younger than me. My initial response was hell no! Not going to happen, i don't want to talk to anyone younger than me. Of course, everyone around me was not in support of my "narrow-minded" thinking. Hump! So i figured, fine...it won't kill me. I'll talk to the guy. I didn't end up dating him but the experience "softened" my thinking on the age thing. This summer, there was another guy who if all the stars had aligned right I might have agreed to date (but they most definitely didn't align at all, not to talk of aligning right) and he was 10+months younger than me. It was easier to wrap my head around the concept of talking to someone who's younger than me the second time around, and no one is more surprised than me that my thinking on this issue has changed. Last year, i wouldn't even have considered it for a nanosecond. I would have been like "What?!! 10 months? I don't want to be the older woman". That has always been my line.

So here i am feeling good with myself that i can potentially date someone younger than me, i feel accomplished and like a progressive 21st century woman. Then i talk to my childhood best friend and long story short this chic is dating a guy who is 6 years younger than her. I give up!!!! I'm not that progressive. I don't even want to be that progressive. Of course, she's my friend so i wasn't judgemental about it but we both agreed that the guy is still growing up and even though i was saying anything is possible in terms of him marrying her, she shot that down sharp sharp. Dude is too young to marry anyone at his age and even if he wants to marry her, we doubt that his Nigerian mother will allow him to marry someone 6 years younger than him. It's the truth! I guess she's using him to cool down right now. I don't know and i didn't ask.

So i guess as we get older, standards start to change. Fine boy chasers start to look for guys that are not so fine but dependable. I remember a friend asking me if na fine we go chop. I've not given up the fine boy thing sha (I have a love-hate relationship with them)! I have to be able to look at any guy I'm dating and do my part to ensure my future generations are not the butt of ugly jokes. lol.  I was looking at pictures of my niece today when i transferred them to my computer and she is such a pretty child. It's amazing how much she looks like my sister. Amazing. It will be a blessing to have a daughter look like me. but i digress.

So ladies, as you've gotten older or more experienced how has your stance, preferences, rules, restrictions, standards changed in terms of dealing with guys?