WK 15 of 17............Yikes!!!!

*Runs frantically to blog* (Although in reality, all i did was push my notes aside, take 2 deep breaths and open my laptop). We'll just pretend i ran here, cos that's what i did mentally. Anyhoo.....

I felt a panic attack coming on. I don't know when i started getting those. Ironically, that's one of the topics that are covered under Anxiety disorders in psychiatry this block in which i have a lovely exam, bright and early Tuesday morning, but i digress. I'm sitting here studying, my cornrows which are braided too tightly are KILLING me, my mind is going a mile a minute trying to figure out how i'm going to get everything (not just psych, everything in two weeks!!!!) done, and my heart starts pounding, and i can no longer breathe, so i push my notes asides and run here. I need to calm the hell down.

Week 15 of 17.........I'm officially freaked out! 

This is exactly how i feel inside minus the coffee plus the biting of nails (mentally)

 My cumulative micro final is scaring me. The bootleg thanksgiving break is over today and i am behind in Path (already). I had so much stuff to catch up over the break. I did my best but it wasn't enough. Tomorrow, the madness resumes in full force and there's no going back. Mschewww. Med school sucks! Seriously, this hair is killing me. Why do i have to go through this? What did i ever do to those women? What?! Yeah, i chose the option of getting my hair cornrowed since my hair stylist was booked full and i needed to get the hair stuff out the way. I will be a complete natchy by the time this is over. No lie.

My next door neighbor/school mate offered me apple pie yesterday and i refused cos i figured i don't need extra calories in my life. Now i wish i took it cos i need to medicate with food and there's nothing that fits that description in this apartment. Boo to healthy eating. I need some junk food. She's still awake, i can hear her in her kitchen, i should text her and rescind my rejection of her pie. lol.  By the way, i don't know how much i like the living situation cos she just moved in in october and now i can no longer have loud amebo sessions anymore. Which kain thing be dis now? I have to be cautious of what i'm saying in my own apartment again. I'm not loving it o. She just told me yesterday that i'm always on the phone. I was like "am i?" cos i wasn't aware of that. I guess i talk more on the phone than i'm conscious of or she just catches me when i'm on the phone. Still, i don't like censoring myself like this, ahn ahn.

This mindless blogging is not working. I'm going back to study jor. Be still, my pounding heart. Do you want me to fail?!!!

I'm activating faith instead of fear (Thank you Joel Osteen)

To those of you who missed my pishure...i will consider putting it up again. I think my anonymity is shot! That picture was supposed to be blurrier that what it actually was. I just wanted you guys to see that contrary to popular belief it's not a robot in an agric farm somewhere typing this blog :) and yes, i do look like a MADAME.

Ermm...what's a Madame supposed to look like?

#okbye. This book is not going to read itself plus i'm suddenly ravenous like i haven't eaten in days. Who says ravenous in really life? I'm a weirdo.

Glimpse - Peep this!

Went to dinner with friends.....free, might i add. My plate cost $21.99. Chicken something cordon bleu at some place that has crab in its name (I obviously wasn't paying attention). Just got home and i'm incredibly sad. Not sure why.

Good food!

Enjoy my "photograph" while it lasts. It shall be taken down when the spirit deems fit sometime tomorrow or i might just replace it with a blurrier one :)

Good night bloggies and hello Psychiatry. I have 6 more lectures to go tonight. Wawawewa!

*Just remembered the name of the restaurant. It's Crawdaddy. I don't know why i thought it had crab in it's name. I guess in my mind craw = crawfish = crab?! o_O


***Was i drunk yesterday? I thot the picture was blurrier that it actually was. I've been exposed. Ye!
**** My food cost $19.99. I really wasn't paying attention plus i didn't pay for it cos if i did, i would have remembered. Anyhoo, i mention it cos i think it's just too expensive to eat out with any sort of regularity at least for me. Unless it's fast food and i can count on one finger (not one hand) how many times i have eaten fast food this year. I just have no interest. 

Audio Post (Yay!) + Thanksgiving dinner

Embarassing moment by Nigerian Scorpio

Garri and Moi-moi. Loved it!!!

My dinner guest

 

Gay Wedding in Lagos

So everyone should know by now that i don't have a problem with gay people. I believe in the philosophy of live and let live and tolerance. With that being said, can i laugh at the bride's outfit? LOL. Look at the green socks. I thought gay people (especially the feminine ones) were usually on point. What's up with the green socks and canvas (that's the most appropriate description i could think of). No seriously, it is cracking me the hell up. Plus the veil and material on the chair....sweet Jesus. Help me. IF you want to do something, do it well, ahn ahn.

Ah.....this just made my day.

Is that a christmas wreath with balloons on the wall? LOL.

*Sorry i have to disable comments for this post cos i would have loved to hear your views on their fashion sense and the overall tackiness of the wedding, but i don't want to start anything, so just enjoy the pishure. LOL.

ETA
So thanks to de google, i just found out that this is supposed to be from a Nollywood movie. Initially when my sister sent me the picture, i asked her if she was sure it was real and not from a church play. lol. I'm about to text her now and tell her i was right after all.

Counting my Blessings

Guess who has slept almost 20 hours in the last two days? Moi! It has been lovely and for that i am thankful. Sleeping this much wasn't part of the plan, but my body is tired and the next two weeks before finals is going to be a marathon from hell so i decided to get some rest. Remember i'm doing this med school business without the aid of any kind of caffeine. I'm used to it now and don't even remember coffee, soda, energy drinks etc etc exist cos i have a routine at this point. I woke up this morning, with a thankful heart. I was almost getting sad yesterday because i was here, but i get to go home in 3 weeks so it's all good.

 I'm thankful for
Good health - For myself and for my family. No one is sick or has a terminal illness. That is a blessing. I might not be 100% but this is the best i've felt in a long time. Thank God for cute GI doctors :) LOL...i'm such a fool.

Life - I know that i am blessed to have my whole immediate family still intact. It's only by the grace of God. When things go wrong and the whole world turn their back on you, your family will be there. They might not like you, but they love you and they will be there for you. (of course there are always exceptions to the rule because some family members can be toxic, but i'm not talking about those)

Family - I used to think i had a dysfunctional family, until i realized everyone has a story and no family is perfect. You might be on the outside looking in, and see a picture perfect family but you have no clue what's really going on. I was thinking about my mom the other day and how she is such a good mother. She might be overprotective (OVERPROTECTIVE!!!) and i know she's not perfect because before anything else she is human, but she is such a great mother and i look forward to being able to spoil her.

I have many sisters with an irish twin included in there, meaning we are just 10 and half months apart (yes, we have the same mother and father). We never got along growing up but now, she's my closest sister. I'm surprised about it myself but i love it. People used to mistake us for twins back in the day cos they couldn't tell us apart. Even my father saw a picture of her and thought it was me. We sound exactly alike, i've heard my voice recording and thought it was her. My friends can't tell us apart on the phone. No joke. I'm thankful that as friends have fallen to the way side, i have my sisters to turn to. Blood will always be thicker than water. My brother is an awesome not so little fellow (he's bigger than me, that former smallie). He laughs at all my silliness and even when i'm not trying to be funny, he's chuckling away. He totally gets me and i love him so much, even though there have been days when i wanted to kill him.

Strength - I really wanted to attend the psych lecture on Tuesday but since i was up with stress induced insomnia till 8am on Tuesday morning, i couldn't attend the 8.15 am lecture. I knew there was no way i would make it to 12pm with zero hours of sleep. After the 2 lectures, they watched a film titled "Struggling in Silence- Physician depression and suicide". After listening to the lecture on itunes yesterday, i searched for the video online and found it. It wasn't so clear but it was a good learning experience. I've always known from 1st year that 25% of med students are depressed, and 300-400 doctors commit suicide every year. I just talked about this with my resident friend and he quoted those stats for me, including the stat of doctors having the highest divorce rate. So i wasn't really shocked when i watched the video, just sad. A doctor at the hospital my sister works killed himself over the summer.

I am thankful that despite everything i've been through with med school (the people who have read my blog for a while know what i'm talking about), I'm not depressed. I have days when i'm sad, stressed, overwhelmed, miserable, disappointed, frustrated etc etc, but i've never sunken into the depths of depression. I'm able to pick myself up and keep going, keep pushing, keep fighting. I KNOW that it's not by my power, because i'm not stronger than the people who get depressed. In fact, with everything that's going on (90% of which i don't share on this blog), i'm surprised i'm not depressed. I have been depressed before, so i know what it it to be depressed. Being depressed is different from been sad or having a bad day. Trust me! The grace of God has been keeping me and i am very thankful for that.

I think it really helps to take time out sometimes and count your blessings. Whatever it is you are going through, it could be much worse. If you never lose sight of that fact, regardless of how bad things are or how miserable you feel, you will be able to pull yourself together and keep pushing. Nobody said life was going to be easy, you just have to play the hand you were dealt. Everybody has problems, just different problems. Be thankful for what you have and where you are and always try to surround yourself with good people and people who love you. No need for frenemies, really.

I'm going to go do laundry so i can start studying :)

Enjoy your thanksgiving!!!

*If you are depressed, please seek help. You don't have to do it alone.

Favorite things

The year is about to be over, it might as well be over for me. This year has FLOWN by and i love it!!! Love it. I need it to keep flying by cos i would like to get done with this medical school business. Then i will whine about residency, and whine about fellowship (if i do that, have no clue at this point), so the road is long and i need it to keep moving. My goal is to take time to actually LIVE while all this other school stuff is going on, i just have to find a balance.

So i'm taking the evening off, mainly because i have this stupid stress headache and we actually get three days "off" this week. I'm not even going to talk about this thanksgiving holiday because if i list all the work i have to have done before next week Monday ehn?!, you will be sorry for me. I'm actually sorry for myself. Mind you, there's a psychiatry final exam jejely waiting for us next week Tuesday o! Mscheww....

Anyhoodle, main point of this post is to list my favorite things of 2011. Little info about me....I'm not into things! So if you are expecting a list of name brand clothes, shoes and what not, you will be sorely disappointed. So without further ado (i'm such a dork :), here are my favorite things of 2011.

• Coupons: Where have you been all my life? I can't believe i used to throw those things away. I thought only housewives used coupons and back in the day (when i worked and was rolling in dough or not ;) i couldn't imagine myself ever handing a coupon to a cashier. Like, so not cool. Well, welcome to the kindgom of Brokedom. Using coupons suddenly looks very good. Biggest save so far was $7. LOL. That happened today actually and i was very happy with myself. It's the simple things, i tell ya!

• Toothpaste dispenser: I went home this summer and saw this cool contraption in the bathrooms and i was like, warrisdis? Pretty cool. I always had to fight to squeeze my toothpaste into my toothbrush holder and most times i just give up and leave it on the sink. The night before i came back to school, my mom decides to bless me with this and some other cool stuff, like a no touch hand soap dispenser which i don't really use but like. I love my tooth paste dispenser!!! I don't have to squeeze toothpaste anymore, all i do is push and voila, toothpaste on my toothbrush. I know, i'm from the stone age. Welcome to the 21st century. Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

• Arm and hammer scrub free bathroom cleaner: Seriously, you guys.....this thing is a miracle and a miracle worker rolled in one. Ehn?!!! They were not playing when they said "No scrub". So someone who shall forever and ever remain nameless, had not washed her bathtub for a month + (we'll leave it at that), so one bright and early morning as she prepared to rush off to school she was like, "Hmmm...let's see what's underneath the bathroom sink" since she really didn't enjoy and could no longer tolerate the dirty bathtub . She sprayed the arm and hammer scrub free thingy and in less than 10 minutes her bathtub was sparkling white. All you have to do is rinse with water. It was a miracle. No scrub for real. Loves it!!!

I got a new one today and it's no longer yellow. It's now in a white container.

• Texas toast seasoned croutons: Who eats a salad just for the croutons? I do. Firstly, i think croutons are the best thing the french invented. (Did the french really invent croutons? I don't know, it just felt good to say it :) Texas toast seasoned croutons is the business! End of story!!! I am a very picky eater believe it or not, both by choice and not by choice, so it's hard for me to find things that my palate (ha ha!) agrees with. I can't stand their other flavors, although i've only tried one other one (Ceasar) and that one literally made me throw up, and then brush my tongue and lick a candy to take out the taste. Nothing disgusts me more than the taste of garlic. The names of the other flavors are enough to make me run the other direction, except for cheddar cheese but still, i love the seasoned one and i will stick to it.

• HTC Sensation:  Remember in August i asked you guys what phone to get? Well, i ended up with this phone. I know i started off by saying i'm not into things, but i am into this phone like white on rice. It wasn't love at first, second, third or fourth sight but i am completely in love with this phone 3 months later and it keeps growing. This phone is all kinds of awesome. I just keep finding new cool stuff about it every single day. No joke. A lot of times it's by mistake and i'm like cool beans. Yeah, i can't tell you how much i love this phone. The battery life sucks majorly but i get around that easily because i'm not always yapping away on my phone plus i'm either home or in school so i can easily charge it. It can get a little buggy and do an abnormal reset, but it hasn't done that in a while. Other than that, this phone is awesome, i just find myself loving it more everyday but i still HATE T-mobile. I will never, ever, ever, ever renew my contract with them every again. Those freaking tricksters. 2013 can't get here soon enough, but that's not what this is about. 

• My 2 year old niece: But she's not a thing, she's a person and she's cute and awesome and i love her SO much. I miss her everyday and think about her antics whenever i'm having a bad day. She amazes me. She's starting to talk a lot now and i'm in awe. She's awesome, she really is. She's a joy and a blessing and a savior to my family. For the record, she's not my only niece. I have a grand total of 9 nieces and nephews. But she is our baby. What a joy! I think about her whenever i hear about any kind of cruelty to children and i can't imagine how someone could hurt a child. I cannot imagine. They are so precious and innocent. 

There you have it. My favorite things of 2011. What were your favorite things of 2011? Feel free to share.

Yay! I made it to 11pm. I can go to bed now :) Speaking of going to bed, I slept on my bed yesterday for the 2nd time this month. Firstly, i had a difficult time falling asleep even though i was really tired and sleepy, secondly when i finally slept, i had a nightmare!!! I woke up and was pissed about it, like WTH?! So i'm back on my couch. My pillow top mattress can be sleeping on itself since it obviously doesn't want me to sleep on it. o_O

***My friend gave me YAM...Happiness! I've even yam less than 10 times in the 9 years i have been in this country. My favorite food in Nigeria was boiled yam and egg stew. I no longer have a favorite food.

*It's 3am and i'm still awake when i really want to be asleep because a) I have an 8.15am lecture tomorrow and b) I have a bad stress headache. Is this a case of insomnia or are the gods of my ancestors just punishing me? 

Officially official

It's official!!! Med school is going to drive me crazy. I have not only perfected the act of talking to myself, i now talk aloud to myself......IN PUBLIC!

I just finished writing an exam. Microbiology is about to send me to an early grave, walahi! If there was a thought bubble above my head during the exam, you would have read things like

"I'm just going to lie down on the floor and die right now"
"Kill me now"
"my heart is breaking"
"I give up, i don't know"
"Why are asking me that, how do you expect me to know the answer"
"Can i just lie down on this floor and die, please"
"Get away from my screen, i don't care if it's 15mins remaining"

All those thoughts and many more, passed through my head in the space of 90 mins. I don't know what i could have done to prepare better for this exam, short of eating the notes and textbook and assimilating it that way. That has never been known to work. Grades are up, too scared to check, hence this impromptu blog post.


Those freaking bastards!!!! I don't even know who i'm referring to, so no need to ask. I just feel the need to curse. A habit which i am supposed to be trying to get rid of.

I need to get this freaking cornrows off my head but my hair stylist is fully booked until thanksgiving. She and her expensive self. I have to pay $70 plus tip just for a touch up. Meanwhile it's $50 in Atlanta. Na wa. I'm tempted to take it out, wash my hair and cornrow it again but that would mean i would be using style to go natural since the last time i got a touch up was July.

My life!!!!!

*Ok, I have checked. I'm still alive. Whether that's a bad or good thing at this point, i couldn't tell you. 

Hi and Dinner

Best dinner i have had in weeks! Tasted SO good. Kidney beans cooked in chicken broth (I don't call myself a concortist chef for nothing), dodo and chicken. Did i already say it was good? It was good!! Good enough to blog about it. See the steam coming off the beans, yummmm!

#okbye

*Microbiology is Satan's junior brother. I tell ya.

Guess

Moving on to much lighter, drama free things :))

What are these dresses made of? 

Found more thanks to the power of the de google. HERE

 Starting next week Monday, i have exams for the next 3 weeks (including the week of thanksgiving), then i get a week without exams and the next week is finals in which there is a cumulative final involved in that mess. As much as i find blogging therapeutic and use it as an outlet in a bid to hang on to my sanity, i need to focus 100% on school, so everything is being put on the back burner, especially dealing with people. I literally just finished dealing with the craziness of my schizophrenic friend (no joke, true story), who went from wanting to marry me, to calling me a whore and a slut, then the jealous girlfriend saga. I think i've had enough. These people need to leave me alone.

I had a dream that involved me, grades and dean's office which = bad dream. Got to focus.

Note to self: Let's try to have a PEACEFUL, drama free, zen, I-love-my-life, rest of the year. Please and thank you.

*I'm sure i'll blog every now and again. I can never stay away :)
**10 points to anyone who correctly guesses what those dresses are made of. Unfortunately, you can't use the points for anything, but you get them anyway.

Update on the Dramady

Just so you all know, I UNDERSTAND my friend's need to stick up for his woman. That's all well and good and even though i was mad at the time, i don't fault him for that. What i fault him for was first, putting me on three way and asking me those bullshit questions about if i would ever date him, just to prove to his chic that we were just friends and secondly, allowing her to pick up the phone to call me and then giving her my number to continue texting me from her phone. That never should have taken place. If she didn't call me, i wouldn't have had the reason or opportunity to refer to her as a bitch. I was minding my business and along came trouble. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

With regards to our friendship: Let's just say, calmer heads did not prevail (with me being the person with the "uncalm" head). I'm old enough to the point where i KNOW and ACCEPT myself the way i am. Sure i could work on things and i am, but i'm still going to be me. If you think things could have been handled in an un-emotional, non-dramatic way, that's all well and good and i 100% agree with you. Handle it that way when it happens to you. That's what makes you, you and me, me. I can only be myself. Besides, hind sight is 20-20. It's always easy to talk about how things should have been handled after the fact.

I called him because i value our friendship and while trying to tell him that i might have reacted differently if i wasn't caught off guard, he cuts me off and said he doesn't care about how i react to things and that i owe him an apology for referring to his fiancee as a bitch unless he didn't see the need to be friends with me anymore. I don't do well with ultimatums especially when i'm still pissed at both of them for the stunt they pulled with me. I've never been one to have a problem apologizing when i'm wrong, but don't give me an ultimatum when your hands are not clean.

While i will leave out a lot of details, let's just say he got an apology but not the one he wanted. I apologized for many things including the fact that i referred to his fiancee as a bitch when i should have called her a jealous bitch to her face etc etc. I feel like our friendship would have ended anyway because of the type of chic his fiancee is. She is very jealous and she has never been comfortable with me as his friend or any female for that matter and like i told him, if it wasn't this non-issue, she would have come up with something else eventually to be mad at. I don't have time for that kind of nonsense. I value his friendship but not enough to put up with his jealous girlfriend especially since i don't think he can handle her. Just because she is his fiancee doesn't give her free rein to run roughshod over his friends and then expect everyone to treat her with kid gloves. Both of them have lost their minds. I never should have been involved in this mess, so forgive me if i don't just roll over quietly and take it. 

I know i get irritated easily which is why i stay away from people and their drama and only deal with a few people on a regular basis. I do my best to minimize any opportunities for me to lose my temper and this is the first time this year, believe it or not that i have been this mad.

I don't think any female should contact her guy's female friends or acquaintances for any reason. The guy is not a puppet, he can speak for himself.

Drama

Ladies, this question is for you. (Guys you can chime in too)

Is it ever appropriate for a female to call her boyfriend/fiance's platonic friend because she overheard a conversation they were having and she didn't like the way platonic friend was talking to her man?

Just so we keep it in context, i'll give you guys the background for this question which normally i wouldn't do but i'm making an exception because i am royally pissed. A close guy friend who i've been friends with for 6 years (purely platonic friends), met this Hispanic chic last year, long story short they got engaged over the summer and will be getting married next year. This guy is like a brother to me, because not only is he best friends with one of my most favorite people in this world (which is how we became friends), he is one of the few people i am genuinely close to and can tell anything. I was even the one thinking of romantic ways he can propose to this chic.

Anyway, he went to naija and just came back on Saturday and i spoke to him and his best friend a couple of times on my birthday while he was in Naij. I'm so scared of the craziness going on in Naija right now and i knew of all his travel plans while in Naij. These two boys were basically going to be hopping from state to state. Besides the kidnappings, you also have to be concerned about accidents on those dangerous roads. So i asked them to be careful and pray before embarking on any journey. Long story short, Sat. evening, i called to make sure he was back safe. He didn't pick up. Monday evening when i realised i still hadn't heard from him, i called him again and this time he picks up, and i was like "You no see say i call you, why u no call me back?" or something along those lines. I don't exactly remember the conversation. I probably added "wetin dey worry you sef or something". He said he was busy and i said, i just wanted to make sure he got back safe. The conversation was less than a minute. I had books to read, i really just wanted to make sure he got back safe, nothing more.

Fast forward to yesterday, he calls (6 times back to back in like 20 mins) to ask me if i could ever date him, i'm like where is this coming from? Unbeknownst to me, this was for his fiancee's benefit. So i answer no, that he was like my brother and he kept insisting on why and i said because i have never looked at him that way and we've never had that kind of relationship. Then he says he has to go and i was like what kind of weird conversation is this. 30 secs barely passes before my phone rings again and this time it was his fiancee calling me with his number.

I've never spoken to her before. I was friendly with his previous ex and actually used to talk to that one, but this one, i have zero relationship with. She pissed me off last year on facebook cos she kind of mocked me on a comment i left on his page. I called him and told him the only reason i didn't cuss her out there and then was because i was respecting him. He told me, she was just protecting her territory and he understood where both of us were coming from. I left it alone and have never once commented on his facebook page since that incident. Besides, i knew that she had serious jealousy issues from what he had told me.

So, I'm sitting there trying to figure out what the hell is going on, as this chic is pretty much scolding me and asking me why would i be yelling at her fiance for not notifying me about his return to the country (apparently she had overheard the conversation i had with him), that don't i know he is engaged. That she feels disrespected, so i said let me get this straight, obviously, the previous conversation was for your benefit, so is it that you were upset and you are no longer upset or are you still upset? She said she was still upset and i asked her why, she said she feel disrespected because i was speaking to her fiance that way. I asked her if i was speaking to her and she says no, but she feels disrespected because that's her fiance. This, my friends is when i go from 0 to 10 in 2 secs. Anyone who knows me, knows i have a temper and i have a very low tolerance for bullshit. When i get angry, i get angry, there's no slow buildup, no middle ground and i get vocal. I cut her off and try to clarify exactly why she's speaking to me, which is what i was asking her initially when she started talking before i got irritated. I end up telling her, i have no business with her and she can go to hell and that i will to speak to my friend. I hang up, he calls me back, i refer to her as a little bitch, and he tries to pull the "don't call my fiancee a bitch crap" which infuriated me more so I call her a bitch multiple times and called him a pussy simultaneously as well. So for everytime she got called a bitch, i called him a pussy for good measure. Of course it gets a little messier, but i will spare you guys more details.

I have never been more pissed in my life because i was so blindsided by this mess. Chic starts texting me and i tell her, she has no business talking to me. I never yelled at her boyfriend. I remember talking to my siblings in pidgin and people thinking we were fighting because of our tone. She's not Nigerian, so i guess that's why she thought i was yelling at her man. Even then, i think she overstepped her boundaries big time by calling me and SCOLDING me about it, while my stupid, pussy whipped friend, stood by and let her. I had to ask him if he forgot who i was and how did he think i would stand there and let some chic talk to me any kind of way. He must have forgotten, cos i'm not the one. Never have, never will be.

So back to my question, i'm not even going to bother asking if i was wrong, because i know that there's no way in hell, i was wrong. I feel like this is a classic case of "trouble dey sleep, yanga go wake am".

Is it ever appropriate for a female to contact another female over her guy for whatever reason? 

*Dude was lucky he was nowhere close to where i was yesterday cos i would have wrung his neck and i told him as much, in exactly those words. What nonsense. 
**I might end up taking this post down, but i am still so pissed, i needed to vent.

Principalities and powers. Evil forces of distraction. God will punish all of you.

Drama

I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS PISSED IN A LONG TIME. OMG! OMG! DRAMA.

Deep breaths!
Deep breaths!!!!

Superstitions

Before i full sink my teeth into this pathology textbook which i am going to be romancing all night, let me say a quick hello and goodbye. Today was an experience. We finally got called for the autopsy viewing and boy oh boy. I can't get the images out of my head. Due to the viewer's agreement i signed, i am unable to share the details of any of the cases. I will say this though, if you are thinking of blowing your brains out, don't! You won't look any kind of pretty when you are done. I just finished cornrowing my friend's hair (which i had to squeeze out time to do, luckily she is natural and it was without any kind of extension) and now there's hair everywhere in my apartment. I hate hair!!!! The only way i can tolerate it is if it's on a head where it rightfully should be. Otherwise i think it's disgusting. Sigh!!!!

Now to the main point of this post. For the last 3-4days in the midst of studying, i put together a little something to amuse myself and i want to share with you guys. Remember all those wacky things we believed as kids or even some adults still believe? I thought about one and decided to compile a list of all i could remember. My sis and a friend added a couple more.

1.  Pluck your eyelash and put it on ur head, so you don’t forget something 
2. Never leave your cut fingernails (or hair) lying around, so that they can’t be used for juju purposes 
3. Don’t whistle at night because it attracts snakes or evil spirits 
4. Don’t write your name in red ink unless you are going to die 
5. Rub spit on your navel so you don’t forget something. 
6. If you sneeze, someone somewhere else just called your name 
7. Don’t eat food from “outside” so that you don’t get initiated into witchcraft 
8. You circle you head with your thumb and middle fingers touch, shrug your shoulders, snap said fingers and say “tufiakwa” or “God forbid (bad thing)” to ward off evil or bad luck. 
9. Never accept anything with your left hand. 
10. If you have hiccups, put a piece of white thread on your head. 
11. If the sun is shining and rain is falling at the same time, it means a lion just gave birth 
12. Don’t tell people you are pregnant. 
13. If you hit your leg on a stone on your way out, something bad is going to happen
14. If your ear “rings” you are about to hear bad news. 
15. Actually believing that “leke leke” will give your “Waterfinger” if you sing hard enough and fling your fingers fast enough. 
16. If you swallow an orange seed, it would grow in your tummy. (Older siblings are bad!) 
17. If you are pregnant and you fight with someone, the baby will look like the person. 

Feel free to partake in the fun and add to the list with the ones you remember.

*I really don't want to study..............

Ask Gays

LOL...I think he's a fool. Was he joking seriously, or seriously joking. I took it tongue in cheek. It seriously cracked me up the way he said "gay people are just some rebellious motherfuckers and they just want to do it their way" and he said it with a straight face too. He's a funny dude. At the end, he said he just knows "you are supposed to respect everybody, regardless of what the fuck they do", and for that i give him a thumbs up, five up and an "I love you, brother cos i think you are cute". At least that statement, i endorse. You might be a silly goose but you are still cute.

Let it Go - Bishop T.D. Jakes

I've put a slightly longer version of this video on the blog before. This is my most favorite message from TD Jakes. I figured someone somewhere who reads or tumbles onto this blog might need to hear this message. I think it is a very powerful, practical message that a lot of people can relate to.




"I've got the gift of goodbye. It's a deep spiritual gift.I believe in goodbyes. It's not that i'm hateful, it's that i'm faithful and i know what God needs for me to have, he'll give it to me and if it takes too much sweat, i don't need it. Stop begging people to stay, let then go!" Deep!!!

Twins

I stumbled onto this video during one of my mini, unauthorized breaks (like this one) and even though i don't have 9 mins to sit and watch anything, i watched this video. It totally made me smile. I was grinning the whole time i sat there like a jobless fool watching the video. The prettiness of the twins, their accents, the way they sound exactly alike and how they complete each others sentences. I won't lie, i totally had accent envy for a second (ok, more like 30 minutes).

I want twins so bad. I'm putting it out there now o, Lord hear me. Thankfully, we have twins in my immediate and extended family (Mom, Paternal aunt, Maternal grand aunt etc). None of my sisters have had twins yet, so it might just fall on me. Thank you Jesus for answered prayers. LOL. I would like them to be good looking too (I really don't want a pair of uglies). Just being honest.

Names and Perception

So last week, as i was looking through my notes, i noticed we were scheduled to have a few lectures by someone name Dr. Cashdollar. I was like, "what! This can't be someone's real name". So i said to one my friends "I bet it's a black man". No seriously, what kind of name is Cashdollar if it's not a made up name.

So let's play this game (which i was supposed to play with you guys last week before i actually knew the answer). Based just off the last name, what race do you think Dr. Cashdollar is?

I eventually got to see the guy and when he was introducing himself, all i really wanted to know was the origin of his name but of course he didn't say anything about that. I still believe it's a made up name. No one can tell me otherwise.

I don't appreciate this being on call thing. I had to wake up real early and get ready, just in case we were paged. I hate not knowing cos it's messing with my schedule. Obviously, since i'm sitting here blogging, we were not paged and i don't have class until 10am. The good thing is i'm up and ready and had a great start to my day. I really want to wear sweatpants to class today, but i can't bring myself to commit that sin. There was a time when i did worse, back in the day. However, this does not mean i dress up to class. Not at all. I try my best to look decent.

Life is really what you make of it and i firmly believe happiness is a choice. But i will be the first to admit that that can be the hardest choice to make. It's so easy to say but hard to do. 6 more weeks left in the semester, and i have exams on 4 out of the 6. Wickedness, i tell ya!

Don't forget to tell me what you think of Dr. Cashdollar and i will be back to update you guys on the answer.

P.S My cousin had a friend named Freedom, and i was so fascinated by the name back then.

UPDATE

Contrary to popular opinion, Dr. Cashdollar turned out to be an older (generic) white male. Surprise, surprise. I really wish i could ask him how he got that name.

The Small Print by Abimbola Dare

Our very own Bimbylads, has written a book. New bloggers might not be aware of the greatness that is Bimbylads (Another one is a counterfeit). One of the funniest bloggers that used to be around these parts, but she stopped blogging for a while and now she's back with a Christian fiction. How awesome is that! 

CHAPTER ONE

      The moment he stepped into room 415 and saw Jennifer Lennox sitting behind the polished mahogany table, Wale Ademola knew he was a dead man. He shut the glass panelled door behind him with a click and glared. It had to be an illusion. He checked again. Nope. This was for real. She was here. What on earth was his ex wife doing in his office?
      “Good morning Wale.” The woman sitting next to Jennifer spoke first. Her name was Coleen something from HR. She’d interviewed him only last year, at the start of his job as a temp administrator. She peered at him. “Is something wrong?
      He started to come forward, stumbled and bumped into a stationery cupboard. “Sorry. I… I must have the wrong room. I am here for a promotion interview for the trainee project manager position.” It had to be the wrong room.
        Coleen waved a piece of paper at him. “You didn’t get the confirmation email?”
      He nodded. His mind swirled with questions and he tried his best to look relaxed. Had Jennifer traced him to London? Or was this a nightmare?
      Coleen gave a reassuring smile. “It will be over before you know it.”
      My life will be over before you know it. “Uh-huh.”
      Jennifer gave nothing away with her expression, and when she glanced at him it was like she was looking right through him. As though he wasn’t even there. She shifted in her seat and the aqueous floral scent of her perfume smacked his nostrils. He coughed, spluttered. He’d given her the fragrance for her twenty- eighth birthday last year... a day before he – should he say left her? He dropped his gaze to the table.
      “You look a tad bit uncomfortable,” Coleen said, concern brimming on the edge of her voice. “Take a seat.” She gestured at the only vacant chair in the room.
      In front of Jennifer? God forbid bad thing. He sagged into the chair like an invalid. “Thank you.”
      Beads of perspiration beneath his armpits prickled. Trouble had landed in his backyard. Jealous enemies from his village in Nigeria had chosen the best time to strike their juju, African black magic. Wale mentally sent a curse in return. Thunder fire them all. Including Jennifer Lennox.
      Jennifer tossed a stray lock of curled blond hair away from her face and held out her hand. Obviously, his curse did not work. “Mister Ademola,” she said. “An absolute pleasure to meet you.”
      Mister? Her performance deserved a standing ovation. He sat up straight with a tight grin, convinced his expression must look like one on a mug shot. “Same here.” His hands remained on the table, numb. If Jennifer noticed, she didn’t react. She turned to Coleen. “Ready when you are.”
      “We almost cancelled the interview when Maryann called in sick.” Coleen gave Jennifer a grateful nod. “Thank your stars that Andrea came in on a short notice. She will lead the interview.”
      Andrea? A chill spread across his body. Jennifer changed her name? He swallowed. “T-that’s fine.”
      Jennifer pointed to the jug on the table. “Water?”
      Her nails were perfectly manicured, as always, metallic blue with silver sparkles.
      Rat poison would be perfect. “No. No thanks.”
      She sipped water from her glass. “I will allow you a few minutes to get your self together.”
      Wale squinted at the window. Determined rays from the sun streamed into the room even though it was barely ten. Somewhere down below, a car tire scrunched against the asphalt. The engine of a bus shuddered to a stop and the doors hissed open. Stall owners’ voices were faint in the distance as they paraded sun hats and ice-lollies. A perfect summer day. Why hadn’t he called in sick? Cancelled the interview?
      “Did you bring your identification documents?” Coleen asked.
      He snapped his head up. “Documents?”
      “Yes. I included the list of acceptable documentation in the email.” She looked a bit irritated. “Your passport?”
      Crap. He’d been hoping she’d forget. “Do you have to see it now?”
      Coleen’s apologetic smile had a life span of about a nanosecond. “Immigration rules.”
      “Uh, of course.” Wale shoved a reluctant hand into his breast pocket. He fished out a passport that had once been vibrantly green and shook it lightly. The frayed edges coughed out a small cloud of thick, black powder.
      He forced a smile. “I dropped it in a pile of soot on my way here.” Yeah right. More like good luck charm from Nigeria to distract immigration officers at Heathrow from staring too hard at the passport. They were usually wary of visitors like him coming into the UK: Immigrants with no prospects of ever returning to their country of origin. The charm had worked. Despite the filth, they hadn’t asked a question when he’d presented it. He placed the document into Coleen’s open hand. “Here you go.”
      “You are a Nigerian citizen?” Coleen asked. She blew away some more of the black powder and flipped to the middle page. She studied the page for a long moment. Wale kept his focus on the space behind her head. To the right was an old Xerox photocopier churning out documents with an industrious hum. He stared at the papers as they floated unto the receiving tray, counting in sync with slow eye movements.
      “Your UK residence permit is a temporary one? Expires in eight months?” Coleen’s eyebrows rose in a probing arc. “This is a permanent position.”
      Wale swallowed, wiped his palms on his thigh. “I will be entitled to a permanent residency real soon.”
      Jennifer suddenly perked up, fluffed the ruffles of the stripped orange shirt underneath her suit. “You certainly will. Won’t you?” Her Irish accent was more pronounced than usual. As it often was when she wanted to be sarcastic.
      He stared pointedly at Coleen. “Syms & Syms offers work permits to foreign workers right? I was thinking of-”
      “We don’t.” Coleen cut in with a frown. “Not anymore. We exceeded our quota for work permits last week. Are you expecting to get a work permit from us?”
      Last week? Talk about bad luck. “No I am not. I was just asking for information purposes. My, uh, wife is a British citizen.” Stupid answer.
      “If you are sure...I guess we can proceed.” Coleen looked at him as though she did not entirely believe him.
      “Hundred percent.” Wale nodded vigorously. “You have nothing to worry about.”
      Jennifer’s cold, cerulean eyes pierced Coleen with a look. “The applicant is an illegal immigrant, and the interview will continue?” She gave half a chuckle. “Is that how Syms & Syms works?”
      Her words stabbed his gut. Illegal Immigrant.
      Coleen’s eyes flicked between them as if to question Jennifer’s sudden coldness. “Andrea, until Wale’s visa runs out, he cannot be considered an illegal immigrant and will be treated fairly. Trust me, when his visa expires, we will know. And we will deal with it then.” She slid the passport across the table. Wale failed to catch it and the document smacked against the ceramic floor and landed by his feet.
      Coleen continued. “Let’s get on with the interview?”
      Jennifer spread her arms out as if to say “whatever.”
      The veins in Wale’s head throbbed. Why didn’t he hit the delete key when the cursed job advert landed in his inbox? Because he was an over ambitious idiot with a bank account the size of a dried pimple, that’s why.
      Coleen looked at him, an expectant expression on her face. “Well?”
      He sighed with weariness, feeling as though he was about to be strapped to an electric chair for a crime he did not commit. Finally he nodded. “I am ready.”

      ***

      “Africa!” Wale’s colleague called out as soon as he returned to the main office floor of Syms & Syms, the IT project management consulting firm that employed him. Wale groaned as Q stumbled through scurrying assistants and ringing phones towards the cubicle they shared. Q’s real name was Quaddam, but everyone called him Q. They had been working in the same department- Admin and Supplies- since Wale started at the company. Unlike Wale, Q loved the brain- deadening post office runs, monotonous stationary upkeep and general servitude to the entire company that had been their duties for a little over a year. The position gave Q an opportunity to be the first to hear office gossip while it was still sizzling. On the bright side, Q’s enthusiasm usually made Wale’s days slightly shorter and more bearable. But not today.
      “Get lost Q,” Wale muttered. “And stop calling me Africa.”
      Q gripped a bunch of manila files under his arm as though his life depended on it. “Not until I finish my investigation.” He wheeled a spare chair close and slammed his files on top of Wale’s desk, unsettling the dust around the pen holders. 
      “What is it?” Wale asked. He reached for a copy of the IT News magazine on his desk, and hoped that Q would take a hint and get lost.
      “Andrea Lennox interviewed you,” Q said, hardly noticing his lack of enthusiasm.
      “Yeah?”

Quick Thot

I'm on call for an Autopsy viewing, either tomorrow, Friday or next week Monday. They don't give you a specific date because the person hasn't died yet and as they say, you don't schedule death. I've known about the Autopsy viewing since the beginning of the semester but my group just became officially on call on Monday. The enormity of what i'm about to be a part of didn't really sink in until yesterday. Somewhere in this city, someone's days are numbered. Tick, tock, tick, tock. They most likely don't even know it. It could be anybody. It sank in yesterday while i was studying, and it sobered me up quickly.

What are you doing with your life?
Are you living, existing, or enjoying your life?

The craziness of it all, is that we are all going to die someday, some of us sooner than others.
I'm still trying to find that balance.

There's something i call the arrogance of the living. This refers to when we put important things off because we think we have time. A lady who one of my sister's was very close to died suddenly, unexpectedly in her sleep last March. I saw her a couple weeks before she passed, my sister saw her a couple of days before she passed. She was just 50 years old. 2 of her 4 kids weren't speaking to her before she died. I guess they figured they had time to fix it. I don't have to tell you who took her death the hardest.

Point is, let's slow down, stop and think and make the best we can out of what life has given us. It's never going to be perfect because we are not perfect and we don't live in a ideal world but we can make a conscious effort to try.

Blossom

• I had a classmate named Blossom. My childhood best friend's niece's name is also Blossom. It's a beautiful name. My flowers have blossomed/bloomed and i love it! Makes me happy. 
• Pink also makes me so happy. Got a pink gift bag today, with the gift inside wrapped in pink. You should have seen me grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat. I don't know what made me happier, the actual gift or all the pink. I'm such a girl.

• Friends....I've had many come and go. The first one was a difficult experience. Now? Not so much. I don't hold anyone tightly with both hands, not any more. I don't think i am a perfect friend by any means, mostly because i'm not a perfect person and i don't know everything and i don't always react in the best ways. I stay away from people way more than i embrace people. I am not a very friendly person, at least not initially, but if i consider you my friend, then i pull out all the stops and you can be sure i have your back, 100%.  In spite of everything, i still have people who love and care about me. What greater blessing is there than that? I understand that people love the fact that i'm "real" and "down to earth". I don't know any other way to be. I am just being myself.
   
• I got home today to a very unexpected surprise and the sweetest note i've ever received (that i can remember)
  
  
  This is from someone i tease all the time and call my fake Nigerian friend. I've been home to Atlanta multiple times since i started med school, and i've only made an effort to see him once and his excuse for me was that i must have tons of other people i need to see. The truth is my asocial nature. I barely see anyone when i go home. This note touched me especially because it was SO unexpected.

• God has blessed me. Thank you, God! 

 *For everyone who took the time to comment and leave me a birthday wish (or text me instead of commenting), more blessings are coming your way. I really appreciate all your comments and i'm glad i could share my birthday with you guys.