Late Night Brain Dump - Episode Uno

There's nothing i hate more than a self-righteous christian. If i'm going to hell, you can be sure you are coming with me. Ok, bye! I'll see u there. 

Today for a fleeting second, i wondered how i come across on this blog. I've had someone say her perception of me in person doesn't match what she sees on this blog, but then again this person never really knew me to begin with. So i think her opinion of me is worthless (with regards to this blog and other things).

I've also had people tell me i write exactly how i talk. Isn't that the norm? 

I should ask Dr. Sushi. She reads this blog and is my personal, personal person. 

I'm amazed at how freely i give my blog address to people these days. 

Oh, you miss me? Here's my blog. Stay informed of the crap that passes through my brain. 

Far cry from a few years ago when i guarded my anonymity with my life. 

Now? 

It's never that serious. What do i have to hide? 

You are welcome to read all the nonsense i manage to spew out ;)

So i was looking through the people who follow this blog and i saw my friend, who i had given my blog address a few years ago to help me look at the design. I didn't know he followed the blog and read it. 

I asked him about it and this yeye boy (Hi, Yohan) said my blog is too narcissistic. It's all about, me, me, me. 

I said, see me see wahala o. This is a personal blog about my life. Who am i supposed to be talking about?

This is my free therapy, so get with the program homie :)

I'm tired of studying for this exam o and this is the time i'm supposed to be on fire. Beast mode activated and all that good stuff. 

 The days are just running by like they have somewhere to go. Abeg, slow down for Jesus!

On that note, i am going to sleep. Let's see if i can have a better study day tomorrow. I am SO behind. 

My life! is wonderful!!!

How many times do i say it before i start believing it?

How to propose like a baus!

I saw this video last year and i was majorly tripped.

This had me cheesing the whole way through. What a nice way to incorporate friends and family. I love how much thought went into it. Loved it!!!

Find proposal videos here. Guys, you can thank me later.

Proposals i would hate- Anything that involves a roomful of strangers looking at me. I don't enjoy that kind of attention.

 Perfect proposal? I haven't put much thought into it but i would like it to be private and romantic and if there have to be other people involved, then it would be family. Definitely no restaurant proposals or anything public like that and no "bed scene" proposal. How u want take tell that story?

What's your idea of a perfect proposal and if you are already married, how were u proposed to? Did you like it or hate it. 

I heard they are not big on engagement rings in Nigeria, how true is that?

Why am i awake, with a headache, blogging at 2.49am? That is a serious question.

Comments

Yes!!!! Welcome, welcome. Gather round, have a sit, you don't want to be tardy for this party.

So instead of taking a nap like i needed to cos i have this pounding headache, i turned off all the lights, and sat with my computer in this dark living room trying to figure out how to get threaded comments on this here blog, without having to switch templates. I really like this template and as simple as it looks believe me when i say i have tweaked the hell out of it to get it to look like this. I spent a good part of my christmas or summer break (can't remember exactly when i changed it) doing it. Blogger templates are way too meh...for my liking. I had attempted to change it to a blogger template, just so i could get threaded comments but i just couldn't. It was too painful.

Well, I did it! Thanks to google and the power of HTML customizations, I DID IT. Tres excitant. Highlight of my day 4shur!

I'm excited. Woot woot!!!!!

Yes, i know........ My life is boring. Good night.

I need to go properly nurse this headache.

*Ehen before i forget, someone needs to help me figure out why i am always HUNGRY. I eat and before i sit down again to start studying i'm ravenous again. The devil is after my life.

**Apparently there is a much easier way to fix the threaded comment dysfunction on a customized template, but of course i picked the harder one where u have to tweak the HTML code manually. Thanks to Myne i realised it wasn't working for new posts. But it's been fixed and all is well with the world again and you can now rate my posts and all that good stuff. Cool, cool, cool (nod to Community ;) that's my new favorite show btw and i have managed to watch all three seasons in two weeks)  

ETA: I need to get serious with my life. So these gratuitous posts have come to an end. It would be best with a took my blog offline like i did over the semester, but the undercover ninja, Honeydame would have my head if i did that. LOL. I love that girl! Ok, seriously. I have been too relaxed. I'm behind schedule and since i have been roped into going to get sushi today, i need to activate beast mode, so i can deserve that break. So it's official, i'm getting serious! :)))

Of Frogs and Princes

To find your prince, you must kiss many frogs

but every frog is someone else's prince

As they say, 

"one (wo)man's frog, is another (wo)man's prince"

That frog just got engaged

but i'm sorry to say, 

he is still a frog! 

Questions

1. Would it be weird/rude to explicitly ask guests not to post pictures of your wedding on their Facebook pages?
2. Why do people seem to think that Edo people have a patent on juju? Are you saying uzobo pots are not the norm on the junction of every street in other states? ;) Just wondering cos i read comments on Linda Ikeji's blog. Let's not talk about the ashawo stereotype that i wasn't even aware of until 2010. Where's the love people. Why are Edo people getting such a bad rap? My friend's almost boyfriend told his mother that my friend is an Edo chic, and she told him "Good luck". lol!!!!!! Funnnnny!!!

Sound Track to my Life

Child on Child molestation

I am pissed to the point of tears! I can't even form coherent thoughts right now, but i am so angry, i can no longer concentrate on what i'm studying unless i get it out. My sister just sent me the link to this crazy video which i will be putting up. I think it's one of the most sickening things i have ever seen in my life, and i just want to hurt somebody.

As much as i wanted to strangle that girl, i realize that she is also a victim, maybe from when she was as young as the little boy. Parents please protect your kids. I had to yell at my sister (transferred aggression) when she told me that there are only female providers at her daughters day care. No ma'am. That doesn't mean anything. It can be same sex as much as it can be opposite sex. She's a nurse and already gives the good touch vs bad touch to young kids at the clinic. I don't think my 2.5yr old niece is too young for that talk and i have told her to get on it ASAP.

I had a conversation last month, with someone who i am happy to say i'm no longer friends with. It started off with me saying when i have kids, i will not be having any relatives stay with me because of this issue of child molestation. This guy went in on me, like i was a sick twisted person for even having those kinds of thoughts. He said stuff like that doesn't happen in Nigeria, and he had never in his entire life heard of child molestation in Nigeria. He kept on saying thank God he doesn't think like me repeatedly, like i am deranged person or something. This same fool straight up told me I wasn't wife material because i think gay people don't choose to be gay. So what if i think that? Am i going to have kids and train them to be gay? Anyway, before i go off on a tangent, here's the link. Do not watch if you are easily traumatized. I am traumatized. I need to go calm the fuck down. I am so freaking upset.

P.S. The only reason i am sharing this link is for the simple fact that there are some things that are hard to believe or even imagine. I never in a million years would have been able to imagine what i saw today. The same way i couldn't believe a mother would beat her 8 month old baby the way that malaysian witch did hers. I just want people to be aware that crazy stuff like this happens, to the richest and to the poorest. We need to be mindful of that so that we can protect the ones we love. I can't tell you how many guys i know who were dis-virgined by their housegirls while they were still in primary school. They don't say it like it's child abuse but what is a primary school kid doing having sex? Anyway, i'm going to try to get this out my head and go study. This world is a sad twisted place.

*As per Sugabelly's advise, i have removed the link. Sorry folks. I don't know anything about what constitutes child pornography and i don't even want to begin to cast my thoughts that way.

Pictures

Because i'm tired of studying :) Sorry if it disappoints you but this is what my life has been reduced to. I went to the museum with friends the day after finals, maybe i will upload those pictures later.

Week 1 of studying. I was lounging.

Week 2- I am camped by the window and it is very interesting and makes me feel less like a prisoner. I usually study in my room, but with the black sheets i have over my curtains, that place feel like a dungeon (which i normally like) but i will go crazy if i am cooped up there for another month. I can't study in the library cos they like it cold and i don't. Plus, i have the weirdest habit of needing something covering my ears when i study. So it's either a hoodie or a wrapper.

My perpetually empty fridge. You will however always see some milk (silk) and yogurt.

I brought those slim fasts from home in January. Had one and i was done. It tastes like medicine.

Veggies and Tilapia. Staples in my freezer

Dinner (and breakfast and lunch :) Oatmeal, strawberry flavored cranberries and very vanilla silk soymilk. Favorite breakfast food besides yogurt and almonds. I eat A LOT of almonds. Which means i eat a lot of yogurt cos i never eat them without yogurt.

I wish i could show you guys a beginning of semester and end of  semester picture of me. It's like night and day. I don't even look like the same person. I took a picture today to send to my sister (for a really random reason) and as i was scrolling through the pictures on my phone, i saw a picture i took, right  before i came back to school in January. I just bursted out laughing. I looked like an actual human being there, whereas in the picture i took today, i look like someone who was just released from Uselu Psychiatric (or Yaba left as Lagosians would say). My sister's comment (instead of focusing on why i sent her the picture) was "What's wrong? You look sad". That cracked me up. I had to tell her, that was the new normal, and she needed to focus on what i wanted her to look at.

Ok. I'm done fooling around with this pointless post. lol. Byeeeh!

Just a thought

When God wants to bless you, it doesn't matter what it is you do, it could be the smallest most inconsequential thing, but he will take it and use it to bless your life. I think about J.K Rowling and when she was writing the first Harry Potter novel, she had no clue how her life was about to change. I see people on YouTube, who have thousands of fans and you can see that they are going somewhere fast and all they do is make people laugh. I remember telling Vera a couple of years ago, that she was the next big thing, now she's on gidilounge, who knows what the future has in store for her. Linda Ikeji is definitely another good example of this.

So whatever it is you love to do, keep doing it and never give up on your dreams. You never know what God is going to use to bless you.

o_O

I can't believe this! I just got through that hellish week and now i'm back at it again. It is so hard for me not to be depressed. I really couldn't care less about what i am studying but i have to learn it and learn it well because i understand the importance of my board score. I usually try not to stop and think and just get through stuff, but seeing how i'm still human, it creeps up on me. I just realized all the people i promised to call after finals that i never called and i'm looking at my schedule and there's no time to call them.

The worst thing is i can't even say things will get better after this exam cos as soon as i'm done, bam! Hello, rotations. What i was thinking when i ranked surgery high, i'm not sure. My first choice was peds, and my next 3 were tracks which started with surgery. I got my second choice.I already regret not ranking tracks with vacation months first. I really wasn't thinking straight during this semester. To say i am dreading rotations, would be an understatement. To be honest, i refuse to think about it. After boards, i can worry about that. I really just want to go home for 2 days but i scheduled my exam so late (i'm not trying to rush taking the exam), that's not an option at this point. I love my life, mehn.

The people who said this med school journey doesn't get better, never lied. You should hear residents complain. One even told me, i picked this life, so i should deal with it cos it doesn't get any better. How's that for encouragement.

Sigh...let me get back to shoving all these information down my brain. Maybe i will get some to stick.

P.S Why am i just seeing that Mark Zuckerman got married to a Doctor? Hmmmm...Most of the earlier reports didn't say that.

*I need to upgrade my point and shoot camera, so i need suggestions. I don't want any overly complicated or expensive camera o. We are working on a student's budget here. Seriously, i want to explore my interest in photography. 

Empathy?

As you may or may not know, my sister is a nurse. She texted me this evening that she just had a very interesting conversation with her patient. Long story short, said patient is supposed to be taking a vacation out of the country and in preparation for that she went and had lipo and transfered the fat to her butt. Can you people see what Kim K and Nicki Minaj have caused? The butt is now infected and she might not be able to go on this trip cos she's stuck in the hospital. The infected butt looks lumpy (I asked) and her skin is dimpled like an orange peel and if it doesn't get better, they might have to make an incision and drain it, which is worse for her cosmetically.

So of course i'm making jokes about it and laughing my ass off because i just think some Americans don't have their priorities straight. This is a classic case of first world problems. My sister was like she was just trying to feel good about herself and i said she no see wetin to do, na big yansh she dey find. I just couldn't feel sorry for her. Then my sister said i should learn to have empathy for my patients. I was like, nope, this is your patient, you have the empathy and i make the jokes. LOL.

Seriously guys, what is this world coming to? I know this is not new or news anymore, but even if you have a big butt, you are not the one seeing it. The last time i checked no one had eyes on the back of their head so how can a big butt make you feel good about yourself, if you have your priorities straight? She was perfectly fine, and just for cosmetic reasons, now she's in hot soup and i'm supposed to feel sorry for her? Am i just going to be a bad doctor with no empathy for my patients? Honestly, i know i have a soft heart and i might feel differently if she was actually my patient and i got to talk to her cos according to my sister, she's in a lot of pain and her stomach is swollen from the infection but i would still think she was stupid. Really stupid.

What is wrong with people. Seriously! Just stop it and get your head out your asses and stop being so shallow. This are the same people who like to ask, "does this dress make my butt look fat?" Pick one. Is a fat butt a bad thing or not? Like i said, first world problems and i have no empathy. Body dey sweet you, you go use your hand take find trouble.

*RIP to S. Obasanjo and many others. Na so she take find trouble off herself.

Light

Finally finished 3/4th of today's agenda and decided to take a break. Biochem is ........just! I don't know. Oh well. I want to share some things that keep me going through the craziness i have to deal with. Med school is hard but not everyone has the exact same experience. It all depends on how well you are doing in your classes, really. That pretty much determines how your semester is going to go in terms of stress. Last week was CRAZY! for everyone, i can't say that enough.  The fact that this is what i want to be doing with my life helps me get through it and keeps me going.

Joel Osteen is just great! Many times i feel like his message is directed towards me (and a million other people) It speaks to the exact situation i'm in or the thoughts i have. It's encourages me to keep my eyes on God and to keep fighting. I always thought that the hardest thing would be to get into med school but the hardest thing for me so far has been to stay in it.

I'll share some of the things which i have posted on my tumblr which have helped me and hopefully, it might help someone else get through whatever they are dealing with.

I really like this one.

Love this

One of my favorites.

Very true

I really like this one.

Favorite!!

My favorite quotes

• If you are going through hell, keep going - Winston Churchill

• What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compare to what lies within u- Ralph Waldo Emerson

• If you have come to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on - Franklin Roosevelt

• Activate faith instead of fear- Joel Osteen

*How do u like my new blog title? I love it!

33 Questions- Just cos i'm a Baus!

Today was supposed to be the first day of board prep, but i woke up with some serious body aches and pains. I guess that highway clean up activity was an exercise in poor judgment. I had not recovered from finals to begin with cos my body was aching like i had been run over by a truck as at Sunday morning when i woke up, yet i spent an hour and half walking down the high way picking trash. I didn't mind doing it, but my body obviously minded. I've been popping tylenol all day, to no avail, so i have semi given up on studying for now.

I'm going to do this tag thing that is going around cos i have been tagged by Ms.Ibhade, Myne and Adede, but i do not have the presence of mind to come up with questions or tag anyone.

11 random things about me

1. I cry when i'm extremely happy about something.
2. I went to two different all female schools for JSS and SSS. I liked my JSS better. The girls were more like family and less competitive bitches.
3. I used to write and draw but the last time i wrote or drew anything was 2008. In boarding school, people used to wait for my "novels". Life/trying to get into med sch/med school has dried up my creative juices. 
4. If i could only have one child, i would want it to be a girl.
5. I really enjoy watching Food Network and that's the only thing i miss about not watching TV. Yesterday was the first time i turned on my TV this year.
6. I love looking at pictures of beautiful, sexy food but oddly enough it never makes me feel like eating it. I just like looking at pictures of food. 
7. Friendships are all or nothing for me. If i don't like you, i won't deal with you in any capacity. If i don't trust you, i won't deal with you. Frenemies have no place in my life. I can count my friends on one hand. 
8. I can't deal with people stress and i don't suffer fools gladly. I'm beginning to think i can't handle too much stress, period. I have a bald patch right on top of my head from when my hair fell off within the last month due to stress. I was horrified when my friend took a picture of it and and showed me. It's called Telogen effluvium. 
9. I can get really pissed off and curse someone out within an inch of their lives but my anger never lasts more than a day. My bark is a lot worse than my bite. You just have to know me to know that. 
10. I have a high need for cognition.
11. I may or may not have developed an anxiety disorder in med school. 

Questions from Ibhade

1)What hairstyle are you currently rocking? 99%-100% of the time, i am rocking my natural permed hair. I am considering getting braids though or going natural. I don't know anymore. I want to shave my head sometimes.

 2)How long did you spend in primary school? 6 years 

3)What is your naughtiest moment ? I went to boarding school so i can think of a few. In JSS 2, this senior sent me and my friend to go get her some drinking water in her bottle and she was quite nasty about it. You know the way seniors are. So we went and got her water :) To be quite honest, i don't remember exactly whose idea it was (probably mine), we decided to add some spit in the water and shake it up really good and we did. We gave it to her and watched in satisfaction as she drank it. I'll just share this one, before you guys think i am a devil, which i was :) 

4)How do you express your anger? Anger! Bane of my existence. I am a yeller. I have to get it out to feel better. Thankfully, it doesn't happen very often mostly because i stay away from people who rub me the wrong way.

 5)What would you spend your last penny on? A good bra. I think bras are an evil invention to begin with. I'll just stop there. 

6)When was the last time you treated yourself to a niceeeeeee warm food? On Friday afternoon after my exam and after i had successfully convinced myself i failed, i decided to treat myself to some boneless spare ribs and white rice to reward myself for making it through the week. I hardly, if ever eat out or buy food. I like to cook my own meals so that was a treat.

 7) Who was the last person you said "I love you " to? My madre 

8) What is your favourite take away dish? Like i said, i hardly ever eat out (i think i buy food like once or twice a semester). I used to like General Tso's chicken but i haven't had that in years. I'll say boneless spare ribs because i used to be a hardcore carnivore and i'll always be one at heart even though i am limiting my meat intake these days. It's either that or Indian food.

 9) How do you eat in public, spoon, knife, fork or hands, loud, quiet, slow, fast etc? I eat with the appropriate tools for the meal. If it's something i need to eat with my hands, i eat with my hands. If it's something i need a fork and knife, then fork and knife it is. I chew with my mouth closed and eat like someone with home training (not that i think about it or anything. I just eat) 

10)Do you polish your shoes? I don't own any shoes that i have to polish. I mostly wear converse for classes or flats when we have to deal up. 

11)What are your thoughts on after Life? When we die, we are dead. Dust to dust. Heaven and hell are here on earth and some people can testify to that because they are living it :) 

Questions by Myne

1. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
 I have one brother and 4 sisters and 4 half sisters- so 8 sisters.
2. What do you consider as success?
When you have a dream, achieve it and you are living a happy life.
3. Rank Fame, Happiness, Love, Health and Money in order of preference.-
 Health, Happiness, Love, Money
4. Will you go for a PhD degree? God forbid bad thing, not after med school.
5. What kind of books do you like reading? Historical romance novels.
6. What are your hobbies? Blogging, reading novels
7. Chocolate or Ice cream? Ice cream
8. Your best movie and why? My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  I love seeing how things work in a different culture and it was so well done, It never gets old.
9. What do you consider your best trait, personality or physical wise? Personality, although it doesn't hurt to look at my face :)
10. Where did you last go on holiday? Atlanta. If you call going home going on a holiday.
11. If you could be an animal, which would it be? I would be any breed of a Toy breed except a chihuahua. Those things look like oversized rats. Eww!

Questions by Adede

1. Favorite book? I love books too much to have one but i'll say The Concubine. I pick favorites based of something i won't mind reading multiple times.
2. What do you want to be? A world renowned native doctor specializing in herbs, love portions and spiritual cleansing. No need to journey to MFM, just direct all your worries to me and i shall handle it with immediate alacrity. I still dey train sha, so not ready to start work yet.

 3. What do you do in your spare time, if you have any? SLEEP!!!
4. What is something you wish you could be doing right now? Absolutely nothing. I just want to be a bum and not do anything. That's what i wish i could be doing, instead of trying to figure out how to motivate myself to finish First Aid and Uworld.
5. Who or what do you cherish in your life? My family
6. Favorite movie? See Myne's Question 8.
7. Where have you been dreaming of traveling to? Home. I miss my people.
8. Best event attended? I hardly go anywhere, my dear.
9. Why do you blog? To maintain my sanity and i like it.
10. Last trip. When and where? Atlanta, Dec 2011
11. What grinds your gears? Stupid people. Liars.

My question for you guys since i'm not tagging anyone, what do you think are the three most important qualities to have in a life partner? Do you have the qualities you are looking for?

Now that i have officially bummed my way through day one of studying, i bid you guys adieu, until whenever the spirit leads me to pop up/pop in again. I shall have my head firmly buried in First Aid with a health daily dose of Uworld for the next 39 days. I need to get serious with my life. The physical exhaustion is not helping matters, but i refuse to carry last. Some of my classmates have been studying hardcore for weeks now, but they are robots or maybe they are on Adderall or something. I no know. I'm just a regular human being.

Oya, make una answer my question o. I don't want to have to flog anyone. BTW, i changed my name back to Madame Sting. I will still change it again to whatever catches my fancy, maybe Auntie Sting next. What can i say, i'm the P.diddy abi na Diddy of Blogsville.

I'm back again, yea yeah!

So i'm going to clean up a highway tomorrow morning with a few other kids from my school. I'm not even a member of AMA (American Medical Association) but i just want to be outside cos i was stuck in my apartment 5 days straight while studying for finals.. My friend referred to it as prisoner work as she blatantly refused to go with me.

Got an Ipad3 from school last week friday. We got to choose between an Itouch, Ipad2 and Ipad3. If you chose an itouch or Ipad2, then it was free but if u wanted an iPad3, you had to pay $82.25. A lot of us got the iPad3. We were supposed to go home, open it, make sure it works and all of that within 5 days so the school can exchange it for us if defective, after 5 days you have to go to the apple store yourself. Well, it's been over a week, and my stuff is still in the box. Whenever i think of it, it just seems like more work to me so i'm not motivated to open it at all. I think it's too big to use on the wards anyway and i'm going to get my dad to get me an itouch, besides my phone does everything an ipad can do, methinks.

I only got this weekend off and i start board prep on Monday. It took me a whole day to TRY to come up with a study schedule. Still don't have one done yet. Will have to complete it tomorrow.

Ciao Amigos.

My new favorite site : Whatshouldwecallmedschool

Pick One - update

Exams tomorrow and Friday, wish me luck.

Update: Thanks for the well wishes people. Yesterday was WILD.  I will address it in my audio post if i survive :) I decided to take down my survey before someone shows my mother my post and she has a heart attack and kills me herself. LOL. That was just a sample of my thoughts when i'm extremely stressed. I wasn't necessarily joking or being dramatic but at the same time i recognize it for what it is. Stress. I'm not depressed or suicidal, just EXTREMELY stressed.

I don't know which is worse 600+ drugs cumulative for pharm or 8 blocks (4 blocks from last year) cumulative for Path. Our path cumulative final which is on Friday is everything we've learned in path for TWO SEMESTERS. I just can't with these people but i can o cos i no get choose (as my friend would say)

Thank God for Tumblr. I now how a place to vent, rant, say all the crazy things i want to say without the benefit/watchful eye of an audience and it's very convenient too cos i can do it from my phone. It's just like tweeting in private.  I don't think i can share it anymore as it as deteriorated into crazy zone.

I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU GUYS. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT A COMMENT INCLUDING MS. IBHADE'S HUBBY :) YOU GUYS ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST AND I LOVE YOU. NO JOKE.

I love you guys,

Bah bye o. (proof that i am an Edo girl. lol)