Q & A with Sting

Thanks to everyone who took the time to comment on my previous post. The comments were very helpful to me and i'm sure to many others who read it. I couldn't really participate as much because i had a very busy week. I just want to say that however, wherever or whomever i end up with, my ultimate goal is to be happy and to be at peace. Marriage for the sake of getting married is not a good thing especially if you end up with the wrong person for you. I think people need to take their time and pay attention, your spouse is the only family member you get to chose, so why not be careful with it and chose wisely.

*Jemima, leggy thinks you are awesome and i agree.

I think it is appropriate to end this month with the Q and A i promised on my return, although i refused to actually leave :))

• How old are you? - Me and Methuselah dey drag age. Quite unfortunate if you ask me.
• When were you last in a relationship (or are you in one and you're just hiding that from us)? - Only Jehovah knows the answer to that question.
• What happened that kinda made you stop believing in God? - I actually do believe in God. I just don't believe in the Nigerian version of God/Christianity and i don't like organized religion too much because a lot of it is a load of crap.
• Would you return to Nigeria to practice once done? Nope. Nothing about that country makes me want to return. I just saw a picture of a girl who was tortured, raped and murdered and she had a huge stick in her vagina. Someone did that! Someone else took a picture of it and put it online. Sickening. I would love to do yearly medical missions however.
•  Do you think you would ever stop blogging? I don't know what would happen once i start residency, if it's going to get more hectic than this. The good thing is blogging comes naturally and i never have to wrack my brain for what to blog about, i always find time because i enjoy it. We'll see what the future holds.
• I miss the troublesome Sting (LOL), you used to be a fighter, what toned you down? - Med school has drained all my energy and i am not even kidding. I don't have the energy for wahala anymore. Plus, it was something i wanted to work on. I believe in constantly improving myself, so i wanted to be more in control of my temper and feistiness and learn to pick my battles. I think i am getting better at it mostly by avoiding it. It's still there though, just don't look for it cos you might get it.
• What made you choose medicine? I am one of those weird people who have wanted to be a doctor since they were little. I have wanted to be a doctor since i was 6 years old and i have never once changed my mind. My brother was a sick child, so we were in hospitals a lot and i thought his doctor was awesome. Then i watched a documentary on VVF when i was a teenager which pretty much solidified what i wanted to do with my life. Girls in the north who had been married off early, ended up with VVF while trying to have their babies and being ostracized from their families because they were dripping urine and they stunk. These doctors came and performed surgery on them and gave them a second chance at life. I wanted to be able to give someone their life back the way those doctors did.
• where is that alhaji, or the guy/girl in your life- I LOLed when i saw guy/girl. If i liked girls, i'm sure you guys would know by now. I'm not the kind of person to remain in the closet. I have and will probably always have a weakness for cute guys. It would be nice to have an alhaji or a sugar boy. Still looking. I want to go to med school and just be a trophy wife. None of that practicing medicine bullshit.
• when are you going to stop hide and seek? If you mean when am i going to stop being anonymous, i'm not. Most people who read this blog already know what i look like. I have put my picture up numerous times for you guys to see the chipmunk who writes this crap. I am a real fire breathing human being. lol. I enjoy the freedom my anonymity brings. This world is such a small place, i don't want a patient or attending or someone in my "professional" life, even classmates to stumble on this blog and know it's me. It's just weird. However, i stand behind everything i write on this blog because they are 100% me. Anyone who has ever written me can attest to the fact that i am approachable and "normal" so my anonymity doesn't hurt.
• How long have you been blogging? I started blogging Jan 23rd, 2007. This is my 4th blog.
• How many children will you like to have? If it was entirely up to me, i would have 2 daughters who look like me. My sister has one daughter who looks exactly like her (like carbon copy, no joke, it's weird sometimes) and her baby looks like her dad. They both turned out very cute and pretty and precious. I love them. So i can settle for that too.
•  are you still a virgin? Hold on, the virgin Mary is on line 1....She said i should answer that question after i have my first child.
• what your political affiliation US? I voted democratic in the last election. Had to do the absentee ballot and everything because I REALLY wanted to vote for Obama, other than that, i don't really give a shit.
• Your passion? I am very passionate about HIV awareness and prevention. The plight of women and children all over the world.
•  A topic that gets you talking each time - Nigerian Christians and their hypocrisy.
• Type of music? - I love Naija music. Wande Coal, Banky W. Wiz kid. I love good music. Since we are on the topic of music, i want to use this opportunity to ask what's the big deal about Beyonce? I am so indifferent to her, i wonder if i am missing something. I don't particularly like her songs, i recognize she's powerful (she's one of those people who are meant to be great), but i will pick a Rihanna song over her any day. That's just me and what i like to listen to. 
• Best movie? I can watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding, over and over and over again and i have.
• Have you had makeup sex before? Yes. I've had make up sex with my books plenty of times, we get very intimate from time to time. It's just me and them up in the wee hours of the morning, what else is there to do but fight and have make up sex.
• How many rounds of $#* can you comfortably take within 7 hours??  The day i read this question, i forgot i was in quiet room full of people studying and actually burst out laughing. This is a question for a man, they are the ones with the long refractory period. Besides why would anyone want to have sex for 7 hours? I guess this is how women end up with honeymoon cystitis.
• whats your bff like if you have one? Did you mean boyfriend or BFF? The last time i had an official BFF was in Junior Sec Sch and i have featured her youtube on this blog before. Now, I am pretty close with Dr. Sushi and we are not alike. She's more outgoing, sociable and i am a quiet homebody, until i get comfortable with you, then i won't stop talking. 
• Do you say no easily or do you have people pleasing tendencies? There's definitely no people pleasing tendency bone in my body. The only person i try to please is my mother and even then, i still do my own thing. I am a blunt person but that has gotten better with age because i am considerate and not selfish, so i can go out of my way for people because i can and want to help, but if i don't want to i have no problem saying no.
• What are you most afraid of? At this point in my life, i would say nothing. I used to be so afraid of failing an exam and actually had multiple recurring dreams about taking an exam and not knowing anything or arriving late or not finishing on time, or not being allowed to take the exam, at least 8 dreams involving me and exams. This was mostly during and after undergrad that i was having these dreams. I have since gotten into med school and failed exams and the world did not end and i did not die. I don't fear anything anymore, except rats. The human kind i can deal with, but the animal kind....no way, Jose.
• What makes you feel vulnerable? I'm too stressed out half the time to feel vulnerable about anything right now. No be that one dey worry me. 
• If you could be a Nigerian celebrity, who would you be? Annie Macaulay.
• What's been the most exciting moment of your life? The day i got the email that i got into med school, a week after my first interview. Med school hasn't been a cakewalk but getting in was such a huge accomplishment for me. I was very excited and happy. Hummm! SMH. 
• Besides blogging, what other hobbies do you have? Believe it or not, i actually enjoy cooking and i am a pretty good cook these days. I love coming up with recipes and trying different ways to make stuff. I don't call myself a concortist chef for nothing. Dr. Sushi came to my apartment the other day and asked if i had food before i could answer she was like real food, not your concortions. LOL. Hey, trust me, it works. That's how new recipes are made. I also love taking pictures of food. My graduation present next yr is going to be a DSLR so i can take good food pictures. I love artistic pictures of food  and i can be on foodgawker for hours just looking at different presentations. Some of those pictures are so sexy. I wish i had more time on my hands.
• Why did your last relationship end? Some people are just not meant to be together. I think it is important to be in a relationship where you feel like you are part of a team and someone has your back. If i wanted a devils advocate, i would phone a frenemy.

I hope you enjoyed reading it. I didn't necessarily enjoy typing it cos i have a headache and i am still sleep deprived from last week. 

Do truly happy marriages exist in Nigeria?

I am starting to believe that a lot of women in Nigeria ( I am focusing there cos that's where I am from) are not happy in their marriages. Marriage is something to be endured not enjoyed. Friendship and partnership with spouses are non existent. The stories I hear of married men cheating are too numerous to be mentioned. They have no regard for the fact that they are married. Like, absolutely none. I should tell you guys about my encounter with my former best guy friend who was newly married. SMH. I lost all hope in men that day.

You see this picture perfect relationship....all na wash. God forbid. At this point I want to know what is the incentive for me to get married. People don't take their vows seriously, no one wants to work on their marriages anymore, the divorce rate is too damn high. Seriously, what is the point of marriage? Is it just a rite of passage that I am expected to go through as an African woman?

I hear stories of people who regret getting married and are truly unhappy but stuck because of societal expectations. If you are married, are you happy? Is it what you expected? Do you think finding the right person is luck or you did something special ( besides pray). What would you do differently?

I will allow anonymous comments for this posts just so people can speak candidly but please let us respect ourselves. I really would love answers cos at this point I have a good mind not to ever get married. It has never been my thing, I don't have anyone pressuring me to get married and the stories I am hearing are not encouraging.


I have just diagnosed myself with ADD cos I only came online to google something and ended up with a blog post.

.....

Subliminal Messages

What's with the subs around these parts lately?

Seriously, i want to know.
I guess since it's a free world, it's allowed.
Some subs are not so subliminal sha!
Just saying.

You know how you can see how many people have clicked on a particular post through your dashboard. A post that had over 6100 views caught my eye just now and i had no clue what i wrote cos the title was a smiley face. I was curious as to what was so interesting about that post, i clicked on it and just cracked up. Like, seriously cracked up. SMH. Most of my posts really are unserious nonsense. I love it.

Not many Fucks

I just love how as I get older, I have less and less fucks to give. At this point I don't think I have any fucks left. 

The last time I tried to give a shit, I ended up with a parking ticket. Fuck that shit. Never again. That $20 could have gotten me lunch for two days. 

Ah....the benefit of growing into yourself and getting comfortable. Still living, learning and growing. Always. 

Why you should be a lesbian

So this is a PSA for those of you who are tired of men. You know, you are sick of your boyfriend/husband, man has shown you strong thing and you are just tayad! I have good news for you, you have options and there are benefits.

Apparently, lesbians have a lower risk of cervical cancer because HPV 16 and 18 (which cause cervical cancer) "live" on the penis. Woot!!!!

In the interest of full disclosure, if your pelvis has been tested and untested, turnt in and turnt out, you might already have missed that boat.

Just wanted to let you guys who are always complaining of your men (on Myne's blog and Eya's blog) know that you have options.

Good night.

Just a thought : I don't like wahala or do i?

To whom much is given, much is expected. 

Some people by virtue of hard work, luck, or whatever end up in a position of authority (used very loosely in this context) where people look up to them and their word means something. I understand that not everyone likes confrontation and some people do their best to avoid it. Personally, i don't see myself as someone who looks for trouble because believe it or not, i like to mind my business. However, i have been known not to run away from trouble and i might embrace it too hard on occasion. LOL, but that's just me. Certain issues mentally stimulate me and i go with the flow.

I think if you are the kind of person who would do anything to avoid confrontation/controversy at all cost and you never take a firm stand on any issue to the point where it seems like you are talking out of both sides of your mouth, that is never a good thing. You want to ride that fence so hard just so you don't piss anyone off or you tend to go with the popular opinion. Eventually, people will see it and you will lose credibility really fast. There is a fine line between not wanting wahala and not having an opinion of your own (or should i say not revealing your true opinion). We can't be diplomatic all the time.


Show me what you got, boo!

;)

This is a really random post. I know. This is what goes on in my head sometimes, random shit. Welcome.

Also, i just have to add that the ONLY reason i picked up my computer from under the table where i put it was to google why i have been so gassy these days. I mean, air is coming out from my front end and back end with a bloated stomach to boot and i haven't eaten anything different. No, this is not period things. How i ended up with a blog post and not searching for the solution to my problem, only Jehovah knows. It's this bad habit that keeps this blog running cos if i was a disciplined and focused person, there would no blog post till further notice. I know the gbese that is waiting for me, yet i still find time to write crap. I need Jesus. I'm sure plenty of you would agree. I agree too. 


You people should help me look at the one that wants to marry a doctor and has rejected 20 suitors. I could only shake my head. Some people have too much self confidence, it has become a pathology aka arrogance aka you will die alone.

WordPress vs Blogger

I am just curious, why are people moving from Blogger to Wordpress? What are the benefits? Someone help a sister out with the answer. I am very satisfied with blogger, but it seems i might be missing something, so what's the dealio?

You're a VIRGIN?

Funny! This dude is crazy. LOL

Help me, People!

I need help. My hair line needs Jesus. It has refused to grow for over a year now. The biotin/castor oil is helping the rest of my hair, but my hair line just won't grow. It's bothering me so much, i dreamt about it last night. The last time i had a reasonable hair line was in 2011. Then i got some tight cornrows, they fell out and nothing since then. Like, Jesus christ, Lord Jesus. What is going on?

I don't even care if i have long hair, i just want a hair line. This my friends, is the affliction i have been plagued with for years. I think it's part genetics, mostly stress.


Advice, suggestions, solution, concotions, anything. I am ready to rub marijuana on my hair at this point. The rest of my hair grows very well. Just my freaking hair line. Yes i have braids, but i can't blame the braids cos there was no hair line to braid 3 months ago, you would think something would have grown by now, but noooooo................

Lord, am i being punished for something? Did you decide to smite my hair line away cos of all my blasphemy? Hmm? Oya, answer me nau, we are still friends o!

An Interview with God

Any Young Person who Smokes is Stupid

Yes, I said it and i will say it again, I think any young person who smokes is stupid. I'm not one to have pet peeves because I'm usually oblivious to what people do as long as it doesn't directly affect me, but I just get so annoyed when i see a young person smoking. It annoys the hell out of me, especially when said smoker is a med student or doctor. A lot of med students smoke weed, but that's a different story and that's not what i am talking about. I'm talking about cigarettes.

I got into a fight last year with a friend because he posted a picture of a cigarette butt with pink lipstick on it and i was like this is so stupid and he was annoyed because i was cursing his friend out. I just can't help myself, especially in this day and age when there is so much information about the dangers of smoking, so you can't claim ignorance. It's just a stupid habit people pick up when they are younger and then get addicted and can't stop. It's not cool at all.

If you are reading this and you smoke, i think you are stupid. You don't have to stop if you don't want to, only you will be hacking your lungs out when you end up with lung cancer. You might want to check the mortality rate for that. But then again, the mortality rate is 100% cos we are all going to die, so if that's the way you chose to go, that's the way you chose to go, but i still think you are stupid. Just my humble opinion.

Impromptu blog post inspired by stupid Dr/med student smokers and by extension all young people who smoke.

How to be a Man

Here's how to become a man in 4 easy or not so easy steps

 First and foremost you need two things, a Y chromosome and MIF (which inhibits your mullerian ducts aka I form the female parts thingy). You need these two things to form your internal male parts.If you have XY chromosome and don't have your MIF, you will by default have female internal genital. So you will genetically be a male with a uterus, ovaries, fallopian tube etc just because your MIF decided to play hookey on you.

THE DEFAULT IS TO BE A WOMAN, that's why chics rule! Woot! which is also why there are more females than males in any population. This is true.

Okay, so you lucked out and got a responsible MIF. Y chromosome and MIF check, yay, you are in business, male internal genitalia formed.

But what about the outside parts, the fun part .... your external genitalia.

Well, you would be needing some testosterone for that. No testosterone, no dingaling. Capisce? 

The only way to get testosterone in utero (in your mama's belly) is through 5 alpha reductase which is an enzyme. No 5 alpha reductase means no testosterone which means, you end up with male internal genitalia and a blind pouch for a vagina. So you are a female on the outside with male parts on the inside. Might be a good or bad thing depending on who you ask (You could ask Jamie Lee Curtis, she's an XY, surgeons cut off her testicles-to prevent cancer and deepened her blind pouch vagina for intercourse). 

So let's say you have your Y chromosome, MIF and testosterone. Yay, clap for yourselves, you are now a proud member of the I don't ask for directions club and have male internal AND external genitalia. Phew.... 

But wait!!! Hold that sigh of relief, 

You NEED Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) which is a stronger form of testosterone in puberty to actually keep you penis and stuff. No DHT, kiss your pee pee, bye bye. This is the phenomenon known as penis here today but gone tomorrow = Testicular feminization. Young boy growing up, becomes a teenager, all of a sudden, penis ran back in and he now has a blind pouch vagina.....oh the horror!!!! At least he doesn't have to have a period. lol. If this ever happened to you and you are reading this, please forgive the joke which i know is in poor taste. 

So let's recap

In order to become a man and stay looking like one, you need

1. Y chromosome and MIF - which both form your internal male parts
2. Testosterone - which forms your external male parts
3. DHT in puberty to keep your external male parts

Now if you came here expecting a different kind of post, my apologies. I just think this shit is interesting. PLUS, if you read it to the end, here's a cookie. I like you. 

Ever wonder why some people are "gay?" 

Hmmm...... 

This is going to be my last boring post/last post period for a while. I will continue to put up pictures/quotes i find interesting or inspiring. Hope you've being able to learn a thing or two from this blog. You can thank me later.

See you on the upside. 

Men are PMSing all the Damn Time

"If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long?"
                                                                                                              - Gloria Steinem


Mehn! You girls and the men who have to deal with you know that PMS can turn you into a raging bitch or a crying emotional wreck. It all depends on the way the breeze is blowing that month. My Psychology of Women professor in undergrad said that PMS was a societal construct and wasn't real because in the Asian culture, PMS manifested as shoulder pain not crazy mood swings.

Back then, i bought it cos i never had any symptoms of PMS, i was like, makes sense. Oh boy, would i like to meet with her now and have a woman to woman conversation with her. Let's break this shit down! Societal construct my ass. She should have told that to the progesterone and estrogen that are fighting for supremacy every month. When they say a woman is "hormonal", yeah, that shit is crazy!

I was a research tech after undergrad/before med school and ran the breeding colony we used for our experiments. We didn't used the female hamsters in the studies. Guess why? Those damn female hormones, that's why.

Now back to the initial quote which inspired this post. Two words....I agree.

And on that note, i say good night.

Why girls like bad boys (and thots on Pre-marital Sex)

Ok guys sorry if this post is going to be a bit disappointing. This is really for people who are interested in how the brain works, i guess. Nothing too exciting unless you like physiology.

When you are young(er), you want the bad, exciting, happening guy, who dresses well, is at the club every weekend, has multiple chics and is all around bad for you . A little hint of danger gets you revved up and keeps you on your toes all the time cos you can't get too comfortable as you never know what could happen.

So why do (some) chics go for that kind of guy and forgo the "nice" guys? It all boils down to something called the stress response. With the bad guy, there's excitement, danger, stress, right? Your parasympathetic kicks in first (not the sympathetic-fight or flight as people think. Which is why when some people hear bad news for instance or are nervous they automatically have the runs, that's your parasympathetic at work). Anyway, the same parasympathetic system is also responsible for sexual excitement. So whenever you are with so called bad boy, you are sexually excited all the time, cos he's unpredictable and you know he's bad for you, so your parasympathetic is dominating.

This is the reason why a girl will say a guy is too NICE and she can't date him, because there's no excitement, he doesn't get your parasympathetic going. *wink, wink, wink* Well, nice guys i have good news for you. These chics want to date the bad guys when they are young but want to marry you once the craziness is out of their system. So keep hope alive and endure the friend zoning for now. As long as you end up with a good job/career, you will be set in the future ;)

Same goes for make-up sex. You have just being fighting, stress response ---> Parasympathetic ---> sexual excitement ----> Good sex (or not depending on the parties involved)

This also got me thinking about christian couples who date for years without having sex. I just imagine the guy (or girl)  to be a goody, goody, no excitement, except when they are praying together. LOL. Parasympathetic permanently inactivated. J/K.

Seriously though, Megan Good and her husband who didn't have sex before getting married, only dated for 10 months. I think there's a reason why. Just saying.

 I think it's so amazing how our brain controls a lot of things and we have no clue what's really going on. Sorry for the physiology lecture. If this was boring to you, it's okay, you will be alright.


U can also listen here

Micropenis

Hope and Haters

Am I back? Not really, no. I find a lot of inspiring stuff online and i like to share. They help me get through life and i am sure they could help someone else too.

I just watched Toke's vlog on how to handle haters, funny delivery. As used and abused as that word is, I have never had one, at least not to my knowledge. What am i doing wrong? Is my life so horrible that no one wants to hate on me? How do i acquire haters, biko? People in the know, tell me. Maybe i am not just looking hard enough.....hmmm. Who will be my first hater and how will i know when i have one?

P.S. I just scheduled two posts for next week, so i can go back to my battle in peace.

ETA: I was being facetious about wanting a hater. I just think too many people misuse that word and even if i did have haters, i would more than likely be oblivious to them because you are usually conscious of things you are looking for.