"Martin Luther King Jr. Was an Inveterate Womaniser

......who cheated on his wife throughout their marriage". Say it isn't so?! *Gasps!!!*

Let's quickly summarize this titillating story

1.  FBI chief J. Edgar Hoover was convinced that MLK Jr. was a dangerous communist, so federal agents bugged his hotel room. 
2. Instead of  evidence of communism, they found evidence of serial adultery which they then tried to use to blackmail him.
3. He led one of the most astonishing double lives in history!
4.  He was not just a bible thumping champion of civil rights but a womanizer who cheated on his wife  throughout their marriage. 
5. He was a sex addict.
6. He slept with members of his congregation.
7. The FBI had recorded him trying to arrange a sex party, the night before the March on Washington in August 1963.
8. In 1989, Abernathy, who succeeded King after his assassination confirmed the rumors about King's rampant sexual appetites (and incurred the wrath of many).
9. Abernathy revealed that King had spent the last night of his life, first with not one, but two lovers, followed by an encounter with a third, whom he ended up knocking across the room during an argument. Apparently, he was unfaithful to the women he was being unfaithful with."The leading cause of girl on girl crime. Tsk, tsk, Martin"
10. He had been a pastor since he was 25 years old and while he understood and believed in the biblical prohibition against sex outside of marriage, he had a "weakness for women". "Wowzers...brother!!!"
11. He was told by other activists to reign in his "sexual athleticism" but he responded by saying he was away from home 25-27 days a month and "fucking's a form of anxiety reduction". He ain't never lied.
12. It didn't help that when he was on the road with his fellow preachers in the early civil rights movement, that he was among like minds. Sleeping with female members was the norm and MLK Jr. himself admitted that he didn't know a single black preacher who was chaste. Birds of the same feathers, flock together. Preaching and fucking members existed way before Biodun of COZA's time.
13. FBI agents bugged his room in Washington in January 1964, and recorded him while he was doing the do (I guess), and heard him say "I am fucking for God!! I am not a negro tonight" Wheewww, Lord Jesus! People have been sinning in your name since time immemorial. Thank you for not smiting them, Lord.
14. Coretta was sent a copy of these tapes/evidence by the FBI. She pretended not to understand and  ignored them and later said she never had a discussion about infidelity with MLK Jr. According to her and i quote "I just wouldn't have burdened him with anything so trivial....all that other business didn't have a place in the very high-level relationship we shared". Omo, this one na saint o. Talk about high level of grace. Perfect example of a godly woman. Proverbs 31 woman. #iwonderhowmanystdsshegot #nigerianwomentakenote #infidelityistrivial
15. His wife and friends say he was racked by guilt about his personal failings and found it uncomfortable to be put on a pedestal when all he wanted to do was end racial segregation.  Awwww...poor Martin. Here we all are idolizing him. He was just a man. A freaking man, who was a freak :) 

It's a good thing i have accepted the short comings of all mankind including myself. If not my bubble would have been burst in such a painful way today. There's an MLK center in Atlanta, which i visited while on an assignment for my school's newspaper. MLK day was coming up and i had to do a piece on him. So i went to the center and i was able to see MLK, the man, not the icon. I guess this is why i am not so surprised by this story which i randomly stumbled on.

Question of the day
Which is worse?
a. A married man who cheats
b. A married pastor who cheats
c. They are both the same.

My Answer
B. A married pastor who cheats is worse IMHO because not only is he married, he is also a PASTOR. So it's a double whammy. He is sinning against his wife and his congregation, (and of course God). There is nothing i hate more than a religious hypocrite. You can't chop and clean mouth like that. Mba. Not gonna work. You are supposed to lead by example. 

Here's the source for this amebo gist that made my headache disappear. 

Is she Joking?

WHAT MEN WANT by Stella Damasus

• They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
• They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem. 
•  They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
• They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
• They don’t want you to make it obvious that you are smarter even if you are.
• They like their space and alone time.
• They don’t want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume
• They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
• They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you
• They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
• They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
• They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
• They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
• They don’t want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
• They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.

Somebody PLEASE tell me she was being facetious and this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. So after giving me goosebumps when she spoke about child marriage, she came up with this?!!!! I have disowned her.  Even housewives won't have time for some of this mess. I was nice enough to bold the ones i find incredulous. Mscheewww. She needs to stick to giving advice to her close friends and family members because shit like this is not for public consumption. I lost some respect for her after reading this.

I guess the men she has been dealing with have been some simplistic, shallow minded, insecure, egocentric, power tripping, incompetent human beings.

Talking about wanting their own personal call girl and being free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning, there's nothing wrong with that. But how many Nigerian men are willing to do the same for their wives? How many Nigerian men do you know who will go down on a woman?  They want to be taken care of like one of the kids but don't want you to act their mother. Talk about being confused. What the hell kind of desire is that? Who is taking care of this woman while she is doing all this for the man? Oh, God forbid you are smarter than your husband, you better hide it or he won't want you anymore. What kind of nonsense advice is this? So you come home and cook, you have to make sure you don't smell of oil and onions before you hug him. She needs to get the hell out of here with this nonsense.

The more i think about this, the more my dislike of her is growing.  I refuse to believe Madam Damasus came up with this. I refuse. It's not possible.

On the other hand, i am willing to accept that i am the problem and i have lost touch with my Nigerianness because i find stuff like this absolutely crazy.

Anyway, she did say this advice was for married women only, so i guess the rationale is since you are already trapped, you better make the best of your prison. That makes sense. 

Pastor Anointed

I guess it's a good thing i don't have time on my hands to address my dear Nigerian Christians and their "anointed" pastors. I really don't know where to start, so i will just SMH and keep it moving until a day when i am not exhausted and hungry, then we can have this discussion or rather i can rant about the nonsense.

However, i would like to say that a lot of CHRISTIANS in Nigeria are living in the bondage of RELIGION. They have become blind and are like lost sheep without a shepherd because their supposed shepherd is lost himself and is probably busy fucking anything that will let him. Salvation is personal, spirituality is personal. I am thankful that i am free from that bondage. The day that i "find" God, there will be no middle man between us. Bunch of freaking charlatans. I should have used my psychology degree and opened a church instead of wasting time in med school. I bet i would have made way more money that way. On judgement day i'm sure all these well known, well respected anointed men of God will be dragging line with me on our way to hell. Mscheewwww.

Nonsense.

To be fair, it's not just Nigerian Christians. Bishop Eddie Long is still the pastor of New Birth right? The fact this is wife wanted to divorce him says a lot about the veracity of that lawsuit which was conveniently settled out of court. What a pity! 5 teenage boys! That's the vessel that wants to lead people to salvation. Give me a freaking break.

We are all God's anointed. Fuck that shit! May God give me the level of grace to be able to ignore these people. Amen. 

Ok! I'm done.

But seriously though, how do these people sleep at night when they know they are deceiving people and they wouldn't know what anointing looked like even if it came in the form of two lightening bolts and stuck them in the middle of their forehead. My simple brain cannot just comprehend the magnitude of their deception. I guess it takes a level of grace that i hopefully never attain, because that is some shit filled nasty grace right there and it did not originate from anything that has to do with God.

I guess i couldn't help myself. I still ended up with a post. Oh Lord Jesus there's a fah! 

Why do people get married?

Charly boy is my new idol! 

#dazall

Curious about why? 

You can go on Linda Ikeji and find out what he told his daughter. 

Took the words out of my mind

No kidding

I haven't been blogging regularly because i have been very busy. I could have tried to make time to post but to be honest, whenever I force myself to make time to blog and there's barely any response, it doesn't motivate me to go out of my way to do it.

Anyway, i read Charles Oputa's advice to his daughter this morning as i was eating breakfast and it just validated my thoughts and feelings on so many levels. I have been struggling with my thoughts on marriage for a long time. Unlike a lot of girls, i have never dreamt of getting married or looked forward to it or even particularly wanted it. I think, It would be fair to say i have been neutral about it, meaning i didn't want it or not want it. When i was 21, i mentioned it to a friend and he said, i am just talking that way because i am still young. Time has passed and nothing has changed, if anything, i have been leaning on the side not seeing the point of it. 

I've taken an intellectual approach to it and have been asking why? Why do we have to get married? 

What's the purpose? Especially where it seems like the institution has become a joke. People jump in and out of it. Lots of people are not happily married, both men and women. Some Nigerian men in Nigeria (and elsewhere, i guess) think they are doing women a favor by getting married to them. So despite having a ring on their finger they continue to have girlfriends. The stories i hear constantly just turn me away from ever desiring to get married. I've been struggling to make a decision. I have mentioned it to my mom a couple of times and she "rejected" it. Otherwise, my parents have been the best and unlike a lot of Nigerian parents have NEVER pressured me or even brought it up as a subject to be discussed.

My mother has told me marriage is not a do or die affair and she wouldn't support us staying in a bad marriage just for the sake of being married. On my birthday, 2 years ago, she called me, after wishing me a happy birthday and the usual prayers, she told me to take my time and not be worried about getting married, that there's no point rushing in and then rushing out. Meanwhile i have friends who i am older than that their mother's won't give them a break about getting married. 

I was reading comments on "Marriage shock' on Bellanaija yesterday and i just kept thinking to myself that i don't want to get married. With each comment i read, that was the only thought that came to my head. I have come to associate marriage with a lot of unhappiness and stress and being stuck. I think a lot of times, the women get the short end of the stick and it's not fair but because society expects it, you have to suck it up and learn to be a "good wife". It will never be okay to me that a guy gets to chill and put his feet up, while the wife (or even girlfriend in some cases) runs around to serve him like his maid. 

I was talking to a guy whom i used to like a few years ago, yesterday. He actually asked me to marry him in a roundabout way, 2 years ago by saying "He wanted to get this marriage thing out of the way and i knew him and all his flaws, good and bad and it was up to me to decide if i would be able to deal with it". I jejely told him he was exactly right and i knew him well enough to know that i would not be able to cope with his bad side. Mr. Man is meanandharsh . com. Anyway, we haven't spoken for a long while and i don't know what we were talking about, by he told me to "Shut up". Very matter of fact. I don't remember the last time anyone told me to shut up. Why would anyone speak to me that way. The way he talks was a bone of contention back then, and after he did that yesterday, I finally accepted that this is just him. Anyway, i told him he was too harsh and i don't know how anyone can be with him and be happy. Then he said that most Nigerian women like a guy who is controlling. I was quick to tell him, i don't agree with him and i don't like a controlling guy. He told me to speak for myself and not speak for other women and besides i was not a typical Nigerian woman. He wasn't joking.

At this point in my life, marriage is not something i am eager for. I am not saying that i won't get married, ever but if i do, it will not be something i enter into lightly. Ideally, i want to marry someone who i can honestly say is my best friend, in the true sense of the word. Someone who understands that relationships are hard work and is willing to put in the effort and the time to help us have a decent relationship. I don't want to marry anyone who believes the primary reason to be married is to have a wife and a woman to have his kids. I think kids are secondary in a marriage and should be taken as a bonus. Mr. Man actually told me yesterday that he agrees a lot of women are not happily married but that they get their consolation from their kids and that's where married women should look for their happiness from. That's not me. If i want to be a single parent and have kids, then i will do that. But if i want to be married, then let me be married in the true sense of the word, which means having a partner and friend to go through life with. 

That being said, i am a realist. There are good men, i am pretty sure of it but they are not the norm.So what do you do when settling is not an option and you can't imagine yourself being stuck in an unhappy marriage just because society expects that from you? 

I'm still thinking about it.

P.S forgive any typos if there are. I have too much to do. Will fix mistakes later.

October!!!

This just made my day

I'm so glad i live in a world where there are octobers! 

Oct 29, baby!!!!

The day a superstar gave this world the privilege of her presence

I started writing a 50 random facts about me post yesterday while i was in the call room chilling. I only got to 7 before i abandoned it. My poor neglected blog. Life is not easy, my people. Just trying to get by.

Med school has turned me into a nut case. 

Been procrastinating on a lot of things

Stressed AF

Anxious about certain things

Overwhelmed.com

It is well

I accept platitudes at this point

I shall now proceed to punish my muscle at the gym and force those endorphins out. 

Muah Booskis! 

P.S. I am very much aware that we are still in August, unfortunately for the world