O.C.T. 29, babeee!!!!
I'm on overnight call until Oct 30th.
Boo, Life! Boo!!!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Mourning
October 26th, 2013 - Exactly 11 years since we stepped foot in JFK airport and missed our connecting flight from Laguardia to Hartsfield-Jackson, because we were randomly selected to be searched. Exhausted and hungry from the journey, it was the first time anyone had ever asked me if i spoke English. I had just responded to her question in English, so it took me by surprise when in response to my response, I got asked if i spoke English. This was to be the first of many times my English speaking ability was questioned. I had always been the weird child who got on my mother's case for not teaching us any native language. This is a woman who is fluent in Igbo, Hausa, Etsako, Ishan and can understand Bini. Coming to America speaking the only language i knew and barely being understood made me even angrier at my parents. There were many fights about this, until I decided to call a truce over the issue and stop crying over spilled milk. I resolved to just carry on with my heavily accented Nigerian English. I wasn't always nonchalant about it and had a brief period where i refused to talk to strangers (even at work). I actually had someone ask me, if i couldn't speak because i just wouldn't respond to his questions. They were stupid irrelevant questions IIRC.
Anyway, that was then. I got slowly got used to the huhs?! whenever i spoke, struggled to pronounce 13 and 30, learned to say learned instead of learnt and replaced my British spelling with American spelling, and my British words for American words - boot was now trunk, take-away became to-go, trainers became sneakers and lorry became truck; said underwear instead of pant, while trouser became pants, and resigned myself to the fact that shimi and underwear no longer meant the same thing. For the first two years i was in this country, i HATED it with every fiber of my being. My life was comfortable in Nigeria. I had days of being irritated by the American accents i heard around me, very high pitched, nasal, and just plain annoying. First day of class and people sharing their private lives with you like you are their long lost friend. That baffled me because as we all know, Nigerians are very private people because they all think someone is out to get them and put san san in their garri. I hated it. I hated the overfamilarity of Southerners and having to smile at everyone i passed. I struggled with looking people in the eye because while Nigerians take it as a sign of disrespect if you look older people in the eye, Americans felt you were shady if you didn't make eye contact. I couldn't get used to professors who insisted you call them by their first names. I had to get rid of my discomfort at not having to "greet" every older person that came my way, regardless of whether i knew them or not. Years of good home training going down the drain. I guess a smile and a hi would suffice.
I started learning how to drive in SS1 with a stick shift but never finished that process. Got here and a couple of months later every morning for 10-15 mins, my dad would teach my sister and I how to drive. After about a week or so, he figured we were ready. Well, that was very debatable as i failed the driving test 3 times and "didn't pass by much" on the fourth try. My sister passed on the second try, so that got my dad off the hook as he didn't have to drive us around anymore. I would like to think we were a danger on the road that first month, but we didn't get in any accidents, so there must be a God. A few years later, i was the one doing the teaching and i taught my brother how to drive. Fun times! We still have good laughs about those very memorable days with me banging on the passenger side door while fearing for my life.
I don't know exactly when things changed, when i stopped hating America, maybe it was after i resigned myself to the fact that i was not going back to Nigeria and that this was now my life, but my unhappiness at being here went away. I woke up one morning and there was light. Will and Grace was my saving grace those first two years. It was the only thing i looked forward to all day in school. I knew no matter how bad my day was, whenever i got home i would watch Will and Grace and laugh. That show saved my life. I will always love Jack McFarland. Always. I also don't remember when people stopped saying huh?! when i spoke or asked where i was from as soon as i uttered a word, but it stopped. Maybe 3, 4 or 5 years after i had being here? I really don't remember. I never tried to change my accent. I was too lazy to make the effort it takes to do that. I just spoke. As long as i was understood, i was perfectly fine. To this day, i think i still sound very Nigerian, although some people would like to argue with me on that and it baffles me because i hear myself. It leaves me to wonder what they are hearing. I get the "you have a slight accent or i detect an accent" comment from time to time. I like to think these people haven't being around Nigerians much because there is nothing slight about my accent. Maybe I have become one of those people who have an accent of indeterminate origin to the untrained ear
2004 -2006 were years my heart literally ached from missing Naija but for one reason or another, i never got to go. It's 2013 and i still haven't been back but i stopped missing it a long time ago. As time passed, home stopped being Benin-City and became Atlanta, that was a change that snuck up on me. But my identity as a Nigerian has never wavered. I struggled to keep up with the new Pidgin English slangs. Being a blogger and reading Nigerian blogs helped. I still remember asking people what "washing" meant. Till today, i hear a new slang, if i don't understand it from the context, I will definitely ask. I wondered what alanta was for a long time, and was laughed out of house and home when i pronounced it Atlanta. I still think my pidgin is on point, although i was recently teased on my "weak" pidgin. Seriously?! I was accused of not using the right accent to speak it. I personally don't agree. I am an Edo chic, we and waffi people own pidgin. It doesn't matter how long i have been out of Nigeria, my pidgin will always be on point. Leave that matter.
11 years later - It doesn't feel that long. My sister tagged me on instagram this morning on a picture that said, living the American dream, then she said happy anniversary. I don't think i would have remembered otherwise. My brain is full with a lot of things. I don't know about living the American dream, but i am living a dream, alright. Although this dream has been more like a nightmare than anything else. Hell on earth on hot wheels. Medical School. This dream that i single mindedly pursured from day 1 of entering this country. When my dad suggested Nursing, i don't think i paid him any attention for even a second. I wanted to be a doctor. So i sacrificed having a social life to study and make those A's. My life was Class-Library-Work, a triangle i never deviated from. I volunteered, did research, joined organizations, ran for positions, and did everything i could to make myself competitive for med school. I had a goal i was working towards and it helped me deal with the crap i encountered along the way. I had a goal, i was blind to everything else. Even when i had my first encounter with a back stabbing snake friend from hell, i dusted myself off, tuned everyone out and kept my eyes on the prize. I made it in and it's been nothing like i expected. It's been a hellish experience that has brought me to my knees and laid me flat on my face. Med school has been hell on earth for me and if i had to do it over, i wouldn't do this again. I have no clue what i would rather do, but this is not an experience I should have gone through. My mind agrees with me.
11 years of being in God's own country and i feel like i am in mourning. For what, i am not exactly sure. I don't regret coming here. I don't think my independent spirit and liberal views on certain issues would have done very well in Nigeria. I don't think i would have felt I had a choice not to get married, seeing how your worth as a woman is still defined by your marital status in Nigeria. Maybe i am mourning all these years because they have been spent in the pursuit of medicine and I haven't lived and i am starting to realize that maybe it isn't worth the sacrifice after all. Maybe.
*I have the worst headache known to mankind and i sat here and typed this novella of a blog post. I deserve a medal. If you actually read it to the end, you deserve a medal too.
*Yes! I got here 3 days to my birthday, you can imagine how that birthday sucked! Not a single friend. I had to go get immunization shots too.
Anyway, that was then. I got slowly got used to the huhs?! whenever i spoke, struggled to pronounce 13 and 30, learned to say learned instead of learnt and replaced my British spelling with American spelling, and my British words for American words - boot was now trunk, take-away became to-go, trainers became sneakers and lorry became truck; said underwear instead of pant, while trouser became pants, and resigned myself to the fact that shimi and underwear no longer meant the same thing. For the first two years i was in this country, i HATED it with every fiber of my being. My life was comfortable in Nigeria. I had days of being irritated by the American accents i heard around me, very high pitched, nasal, and just plain annoying. First day of class and people sharing their private lives with you like you are their long lost friend. That baffled me because as we all know, Nigerians are very private people because they all think someone is out to get them and put san san in their garri. I hated it. I hated the overfamilarity of Southerners and having to smile at everyone i passed. I struggled with looking people in the eye because while Nigerians take it as a sign of disrespect if you look older people in the eye, Americans felt you were shady if you didn't make eye contact. I couldn't get used to professors who insisted you call them by their first names. I had to get rid of my discomfort at not having to "greet" every older person that came my way, regardless of whether i knew them or not. Years of good home training going down the drain. I guess a smile and a hi would suffice.
I started learning how to drive in SS1 with a stick shift but never finished that process. Got here and a couple of months later every morning for 10-15 mins, my dad would teach my sister and I how to drive. After about a week or so, he figured we were ready. Well, that was very debatable as i failed the driving test 3 times and "didn't pass by much" on the fourth try. My sister passed on the second try, so that got my dad off the hook as he didn't have to drive us around anymore. I would like to think we were a danger on the road that first month, but we didn't get in any accidents, so there must be a God. A few years later, i was the one doing the teaching and i taught my brother how to drive. Fun times! We still have good laughs about those very memorable days with me banging on the passenger side door while fearing for my life.
I don't know exactly when things changed, when i stopped hating America, maybe it was after i resigned myself to the fact that i was not going back to Nigeria and that this was now my life, but my unhappiness at being here went away. I woke up one morning and there was light. Will and Grace was my saving grace those first two years. It was the only thing i looked forward to all day in school. I knew no matter how bad my day was, whenever i got home i would watch Will and Grace and laugh. That show saved my life. I will always love Jack McFarland. Always. I also don't remember when people stopped saying huh?! when i spoke or asked where i was from as soon as i uttered a word, but it stopped. Maybe 3, 4 or 5 years after i had being here? I really don't remember. I never tried to change my accent. I was too lazy to make the effort it takes to do that. I just spoke. As long as i was understood, i was perfectly fine. To this day, i think i still sound very Nigerian, although some people would like to argue with me on that and it baffles me because i hear myself. It leaves me to wonder what they are hearing. I get the "you have a slight accent or i detect an accent" comment from time to time. I like to think these people haven't being around Nigerians much because there is nothing slight about my accent. Maybe I have become one of those people who have an accent of indeterminate origin to the untrained ear
2004 -2006 were years my heart literally ached from missing Naija but for one reason or another, i never got to go. It's 2013 and i still haven't been back but i stopped missing it a long time ago. As time passed, home stopped being Benin-City and became Atlanta, that was a change that snuck up on me. But my identity as a Nigerian has never wavered. I struggled to keep up with the new Pidgin English slangs. Being a blogger and reading Nigerian blogs helped. I still remember asking people what "washing" meant. Till today, i hear a new slang, if i don't understand it from the context, I will definitely ask. I wondered what alanta was for a long time, and was laughed out of house and home when i pronounced it Atlanta. I still think my pidgin is on point, although i was recently teased on my "weak" pidgin. Seriously?! I was accused of not using the right accent to speak it. I personally don't agree. I am an Edo chic, we and waffi people own pidgin. It doesn't matter how long i have been out of Nigeria, my pidgin will always be on point. Leave that matter.
11 years later - It doesn't feel that long. My sister tagged me on instagram this morning on a picture that said, living the American dream, then she said happy anniversary. I don't think i would have remembered otherwise. My brain is full with a lot of things. I don't know about living the American dream, but i am living a dream, alright. Although this dream has been more like a nightmare than anything else. Hell on earth on hot wheels. Medical School. This dream that i single mindedly pursured from day 1 of entering this country. When my dad suggested Nursing, i don't think i paid him any attention for even a second. I wanted to be a doctor. So i sacrificed having a social life to study and make those A's. My life was Class-Library-Work, a triangle i never deviated from. I volunteered, did research, joined organizations, ran for positions, and did everything i could to make myself competitive for med school. I had a goal i was working towards and it helped me deal with the crap i encountered along the way. I had a goal, i was blind to everything else. Even when i had my first encounter with a back stabbing snake friend from hell, i dusted myself off, tuned everyone out and kept my eyes on the prize. I made it in and it's been nothing like i expected. It's been a hellish experience that has brought me to my knees and laid me flat on my face. Med school has been hell on earth for me and if i had to do it over, i wouldn't do this again. I have no clue what i would rather do, but this is not an experience I should have gone through. My mind agrees with me.
11 years of being in God's own country and i feel like i am in mourning. For what, i am not exactly sure. I don't regret coming here. I don't think my independent spirit and liberal views on certain issues would have done very well in Nigeria. I don't think i would have felt I had a choice not to get married, seeing how your worth as a woman is still defined by your marital status in Nigeria. Maybe i am mourning all these years because they have been spent in the pursuit of medicine and I haven't lived and i am starting to realize that maybe it isn't worth the sacrifice after all. Maybe.
*I have the worst headache known to mankind and i sat here and typed this novella of a blog post. I deserve a medal. If you actually read it to the end, you deserve a medal too.
*Yes! I got here 3 days to my birthday, you can imagine how that birthday sucked! Not a single friend. I had to go get immunization shots too.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU
"I only wanted to love him" My heart stopped when i read that.
"It's not a gay thing. It's not a straight thing. It's a human thing"
Truth!
Documentary on OWN Oct 27th
Documentary on OWN Oct 27th
Friday, October 18, 2013
What this Crazy Girl Has been up to.....
Drank copious amounts of herbal tea (caffeine free). I don't know if there are any benefits but i like the taste (fruit flavored) and it has become a nightly ritual that helps me relax before bed. I drink/sip hot tea with a straw! Is that normal? I drink most things with a straw, not sure when or why i picked up that habit.
Did my first rectal exam. I somehow managed to escape it last year but I had a pt with a GI bleed and you can't (or shouldn't) call a GI consult for a GI bleed WITHOUT performing a rectal. Well, i called the consult without one and luckily the GI fellow is someone i worked with in 3rd year so he was nice to me....lol. Had to go back and do the rectal with my Senior.
Did my first rectal exam. I somehow managed to escape it last year but I had a pt with a GI bleed and you can't (or shouldn't) call a GI consult for a GI bleed WITHOUT performing a rectal. Well, i called the consult without one and luckily the GI fellow is someone i worked with in 3rd year so he was nice to me....lol. Had to go back and do the rectal with my Senior.
Lost my first patient while in service. A hundred years old. Anyone who lives that long and passes as easily as she did, is blessed.
Had my first patient go on hospice. I actually talked with the patient about consulting palliative. It's difficult to tell someone they are dying. Thankfully, i wasn't the first one. The patient wasn't agreeable to that initially but eventually agreed.
Told someone that they are one of the few people i actually dislike in this world. Back stabbing, two faced human being. Told them that too. Crazy thing was, it wasn't a heated discussion because i was in the hospital. I had cut off from this person early last year and didn't have their number on my phone, so when the call came in i answered it. As soon as i heard the person's voices, i was just like "person's name?! abeg, abeg" and hung up. Funny thing is said person and i never had a falling out, i just decided i couldn't have that kind of character in my life. Ever had a "friend' who played both sides, talked out of both sides of their mouth and was thoroughly untrustworthy? This person is one of those. Tufiakwa!
Went pinterest crazy! I have the cutest collection of natural hair kids.
Med school
Quotes
Follow/Find me on Pinterest. Don't dull yourself. There's something for everyone. It's just fun. I was sitting there pinning, while we were running our patient list after rounds. The senior resident was behind me and could most likely see what i was doing on my iPad, but since i was post call and writing down what he was saying, i figured he'll be fine. We'll see when i get my feedback tomorrow.
Quotes
Follow/Find me on Pinterest. Don't dull yourself. There's something for everyone. It's just fun. I was sitting there pinning, while we were running our patient list after rounds. The senior resident was behind me and could most likely see what i was doing on my iPad, but since i was post call and writing down what he was saying, i figured he'll be fine. We'll see when i get my feedback tomorrow.
What have you been up to? If it's bad thing.....I don't want to know now. We can talk about it when you come for confession ;)
I'm offically resuming the weight loss challenge Nov 1st. Time to get these last 10lbs off and get some muscles and a wash board ab in my life. Naijafatbusters.blogspot.com
Lastly, i just realised i never updated my bloglist after i went on a deleting spree when my brain was touching earlier this year and i wanted to stop blogging/decrease the traffic to this blog. I added a few blogs tonight, Nutty Jay, Sugabelly, Original Mgbeke.....I didn't even realize they were no longer on my blog list. Anyhoodle, let me know if you want me to add you. Just leave a comment.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Oct 29
Come o......
My birthday is exactly 16 days from today. What are you guys getting me? I feel like i have been in a war zone this year and i would like a care package. Also, a sugar boy to go with that will not be a bad idea. Unfortunately, i am on call that day - 28hr call. I tried to get that day off but was shut down really fast. Oh wells...... Whatchugondo?
I'm not playing. This year, i expect gifts in cash and kind and hot dudes! Just saying. Now get to work fulfilling that order. In case you are wondering i turn 55 this year. I'm a young at heart, fine girl, no pimples just dimples, simples. Actually i don't have dimples but my mom and nieces do. Jelly, jelly.
Living with HIV
Let's deviate from my usual random nonsense and talk about serious stuff. If you've read this blog for a while, you are probably aware that i am passionate about HIV awareness and prevention. My project involved evaluating an intervention program geared towards African American women to see if it was relevant and they could actually practice what they learned in the program. I think in a lot of ways, the power structure in (some) AA heterosexual relationships is similar to African relationships. I chose to focus on AA women rather than MSM (men who have sex with men) because i felt that i whatever i learned, i could apply to African women and maybe extend that knowledge to do something in Nigeria. I just spoke to someone and was told that the awareness is still poor in Nigeria right now. It's an ongoing process in my head at this point. On that note, i'll share some basic information that someone might find useful.
Let me start by saying that HIV is not a death sentence. Thanks to new treatments, having HIV is like having any chronic illness like diabetes, HTN that you have to treat your whole life.
Most of my info was gotten from PatientPoint. I picked up a handy pamphlet from clinic.
Trusted resources you can visit for reliable information
AIDSinfo
CDC
MedlinePlus
HIV Test Window Periods
CDC - FAQs
Hope this turns out to be helpful to someone. I wrote this especially for my folks living in naija because i know you guys have to advocate for yourself when it comes to health care for any issue not just HIV. When they say knowledge is power, it's not a joke. If you are knowledgeable about whatever condition you are dealing with, you are able to deal with it better and get better care for yourself by being your own advocate. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions. KNOW what medications you are taking, the name, expected side effects. Ask questions! Seek a second opinion if you are not comfortable. Switch doctors. Don't accept anything you are told if you don't understand, ask the doctor to break it down and eliminate the doctor speak. I can't tell you how many patients (here) take medications but they can't tell you the name or why they are taking the medication. This is just generally advice about health care stuff not just HIV.
We have a lot of work to do on our health care system especially in Nigeria. I think health literacy is an area that needs more work but that's a different blog post.
Happy Sunday.
*IF you have any questions, you can ask me, I'm still a student so while i might not have answers, i can point you in the right direction. Otherwise, google is your friend.
*If you read this post to the end....Here's a cookie and a hottie of the day award. You are blessed and have been enhanced :)
Coinkidink.....
Let me start by saying that HIV is not a death sentence. Thanks to new treatments, having HIV is like having any chronic illness like diabetes, HTN that you have to treat your whole life.
- FYI: HIV is a virus that attacks our immune system. Everyone has CD4 T cells which helps to fight infections and keep us healthy. Our CD4 T cells have to be above a certain number for it to be effective. HIV causes AIDS by attacking our CD 4 T cells and killing them off. The lower your CD4 T cells, the less likely you are to be able to fight infections. When your body can no longer fight infections, that's when you have AIDS. This usually happens when the CD4 T cell is less than 200 OR you have certain kinds of infections or cancers that attack your immune system.
- Treatment can prevent or delay progression to AIDS. Without treatment it typically takes about 10 years. You shouldn't wait until you have symptoms to start getting treatment because you might not have any symptoms of HIV until the later stages when your immune system has already been damaged.
- In general, you start treatment if your CD4 count is less than 500, you are having severe symptoms or have developed other infections, you are pregnant, and you are ready to commit to taking medication everyday. You HAVE TO be committed to whatever medications you start, otherwise you quickly become resistant to it and it won't work. So take your medications, correct dose and correct times every day. Don't start and stop. It's better to take a pill late than to skip the dose. Tell your doctors about ALL other meds (prescription, herbs, supplements, over the counter) you are taking and other health conditions, so they can make sure there's no interaction.
- Ongoing care - You should plan to see your doctor every 3-4 months for checkups, so they can be on top of things and know if the meds are working, check for complications from meds, how you are sticking to your treatment plan and help find solutions on how to deal with side effects of medications. You also need blood tests - CD4 count and Viral load tests. These are the only tests that can tell you how well you are doing, if your treatment is working or if the HIV is getting worse.
- What you can do for yourself - Eat a balanced diet which can help boost your energy, avoid weight loss and keep your immune system stronger. Also, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep can help you handle the stress of HIV. I cannot stress how important it is to have a support system. Good family and friends can help cope with the emotional effects of HIV. You can also join an online support group. It is also important for you to know how HIV spreads in other to protect yourself and others.
- How does HIV spread - It is NOT spread through air, water, saliva, tears or sweat. It IS spread through blood, semen (including pre-seminal fluids) and vaginal fluids by
- Having vaginal, oral or anal sex - the virus can spread through small tears or sores in mouth, anus or vagina
- Sharing personal items such as razors or toothbrushes that might have your blood on them
- Sharing needles and syringes
- giving birth - the baby can be infected during pregnancy, delivery or breastfeeding. DO NOT breastfeed if you are HIV positive and get treatment while you are pregnant and treatment for the baby after birth.
- FYI. Protecting yourself and others. If you already have HIV it is NOT safe to have unprotected sex with someone who is HIV positive as you can become infected with another strain of the HIV virus. If that happens, the meds you are on may not work on the new strain.
- Know your STD status as you are 3-5 times more likely to infect others with HIV if you also have an STD or hepatitis
- Don't share sex toys
- Use a male or female condom anytime you have vaginal, oral or anal sex.
- Don't share needles or other drug equipment
- Know that you can still infect others even though you are taking your HIV meds
- Tell all your partners that you are HIV positive before you have vaginal, oral or anal sex.
Most of my info was gotten from PatientPoint. I picked up a handy pamphlet from clinic.
Trusted resources you can visit for reliable information
AIDSinfo
CDC
MedlinePlus
HIV Test Window Periods
CDC - FAQs
Hope this turns out to be helpful to someone. I wrote this especially for my folks living in naija because i know you guys have to advocate for yourself when it comes to health care for any issue not just HIV. When they say knowledge is power, it's not a joke. If you are knowledgeable about whatever condition you are dealing with, you are able to deal with it better and get better care for yourself by being your own advocate. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions. KNOW what medications you are taking, the name, expected side effects. Ask questions! Seek a second opinion if you are not comfortable. Switch doctors. Don't accept anything you are told if you don't understand, ask the doctor to break it down and eliminate the doctor speak. I can't tell you how many patients (here) take medications but they can't tell you the name or why they are taking the medication. This is just generally advice about health care stuff not just HIV.
We have a lot of work to do on our health care system especially in Nigeria. I think health literacy is an area that needs more work but that's a different blog post.
Happy Sunday.
*IF you have any questions, you can ask me, I'm still a student so while i might not have answers, i can point you in the right direction. Otherwise, google is your friend.
*If you read this post to the end....Here's a cookie and a hottie of the day award. You are blessed and have been enhanced :)
Coinkidink.....
Friday, October 11, 2013
Pose of Life
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| Don Jazzy |
My brain amazes me with the random crap it churns out.
Musings
It's amazes me how people make their beds but refuse to lie in it in peace. Instead they want to be tensioning innocent people, re-mixing history to suit their purposes, playing victim instead of accepting the fact that they screwed up royally and their shit stinks from here to high heavens. I'm sorry for you my dear. You are the architect of your own misfortune. There's no need to look for someone not to wish you well because you don't wish yourself well. Those who have big eyes will always pay the price. You made your bed, please lie in it and point all five fingers to yourself. Nobody did anything to you, playing the victim is not cute! Maybe one day it will finally sink in to you that money will never be the source of any lasting happiness. Until then, good luck.
I just read Ms. Dakara's post.Why do we pick English names for our kids? I don't see white people naming their kids Nigerian (or African) names, so why do we continue this trend? Someone had to enlighten me for me to get it and i'm hoping to do that for someone else. I was always of the Nigerian first name and English middle name bandwagon, until i asked a family friend why him and all his siblings first and middle names were both Nigerian names and he told me his father did not like the idea of naming his kids English/American names, because said people did not give their kids our names. It made sense to me. Something just clicked in my head. The names people are giving their kids these days is concerning. Very americanized names that don't seem to fit. Too many Jaden/Jaydens running around in Nigeria these days. Anyway, what's my own.
I'm blessed to be from two ethnic groups, so i will never have a shortage of names to chose from. I get to pick the names if i get to incubate the child for 9 months. That's my rule. I have an Edo name, igbo name, arabic name, and English name. (I bet i have more names but they are not coming to me right now). My English name is one of the fruits of the spirits. Very common bastardized name like this which i used to hate. The only reason i use it is because it looks good on paper so it's part of my legal documents but i don't like being called the name, never have, never will.
It's 12am. Good morning!
Moving on.....
I just read Ms. Dakara's post.Why do we pick English names for our kids? I don't see white people naming their kids Nigerian (or African) names, so why do we continue this trend? Someone had to enlighten me for me to get it and i'm hoping to do that for someone else. I was always of the Nigerian first name and English middle name bandwagon, until i asked a family friend why him and all his siblings first and middle names were both Nigerian names and he told me his father did not like the idea of naming his kids English/American names, because said people did not give their kids our names. It made sense to me. Something just clicked in my head. The names people are giving their kids these days is concerning. Very americanized names that don't seem to fit. Too many Jaden/Jaydens running around in Nigeria these days. Anyway, what's my own.
I'm blessed to be from two ethnic groups, so i will never have a shortage of names to chose from. I get to pick the names if i get to incubate the child for 9 months. That's my rule. I have an Edo name, igbo name, arabic name, and English name. (I bet i have more names but they are not coming to me right now). My English name is one of the fruits of the spirits. Very common bastardized name like this which i used to hate. The only reason i use it is because it looks good on paper so it's part of my legal documents but i don't like being called the name, never have, never will.
It's 12am. Good morning!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
My mother's daughter
On my day off......
I cooked a pot of stew with smoked turkey, baked an extra large store bought extreme bacon pizza, baked some chicken and meat pies, did laundry, washed dishes, went for a doctors appointment, got some good news, ate a box of fortune cookies, believed all the fortunes in the cookies, bought some more flavors of celestial tea, talked to my dad, mom, sisters on the phone on separate phone calls, talked to my nieces-god daughters on facetime, texted with my college freshman niece who told me to go yoga to relax and showed me a picture of her haitian boyfriend, told her to tell the haitian to behave himself, talked with a couple of friends, put a period to a friendship that has run its course and made some sleepytime tea to help me relax.
Pretty eventful day. Very thankful.
If you joined in the prayer and fasting for me last week in which i did not partake in, I just want to let you know that God heard your prayers. I am so thankful. My brain hasn't fully registered it yet.
Backflips! Good night.
Lesson of the day
I cooked a pot of stew with smoked turkey, baked an extra large store bought extreme bacon pizza, baked some chicken and meat pies, did laundry, washed dishes, went for a doctors appointment, got some good news, ate a box of fortune cookies, believed all the fortunes in the cookies, bought some more flavors of celestial tea, talked to my dad, mom, sisters on the phone on separate phone calls, talked to my nieces-god daughters on facetime, texted with my college freshman niece who told me to go yoga to relax and showed me a picture of her haitian boyfriend, told her to tell the haitian to behave himself, talked with a couple of friends, put a period to a friendship that has run its course and made some sleepytime tea to help me relax.
Pretty eventful day. Very thankful.
If you joined in the prayer and fasting for me last week in which i did not partake in, I just want to let you know that God heard your prayers. I am so thankful. My brain hasn't fully registered it yet.
Backflips! Good night.
Lesson of the day
- No good deed goes unpunished
- Friendships never end. The ones who were meant to be your friends stay.
- Beware of people who hold grudges. They tend to have selective amnesia.
Can Sickle Cell Disease be Managed abroad?
It's almost 9pm and i just finished typing up a discharge summary for a patient. Since i have the day off tomorrow, i decided to blog hop before i start writing another discharge summary for a pt who might be leaving tomorrow (even though i'm off o!!!!). Anyway, i saw this post and got an instant headache. Instant and i'm not exaggerating. To be honest, i didn't even bother reading the details of the post. First and only comment i read just prompted me to abort that mission so as not to worsen my headache.
"The US is not like our backward Nigeria my dear. Everything works in that system. They research and make discoveries like no man's business. Managing Sickle cell shouldn't be a problem there at all. Their healthcare system is superb!!!"
Really?!!!
No seriously, really?! So is "abroad" or US supposed to be this magical perfect place? People in Nigeria who think like that need to disabuse themselves of that notion. I'm irritated by it because the patient i JUST finished typing up the discharge summary has sickle cell disease. I just want to cry just thinking about it. Nobody should have to live like that all because their selfish parents decided to take a chance. My play cousin had sickle cell and passed away in 2007. If she wasn't in America, she would without a doubt have died at least 10 years earlier than she did but did that take her suffering away? NO!
If my patient wasn't in America and lived in Nigeria, I have no doubt in my mind that said pt would be dead. This is the first sickle cell patient i have managed and i was horrified (for lack of a better word). I remember my cousin always being in the hospital most of the time but i was a little kid and she left Nigeria a long time before we did. So even though i knew her's was bad, i can't say i have a first hand experience of it, except a few times my mom had to take her to the hospital writhing in pain.
Looking at this patient's hospital records, they have been admitted to the hospital every month this year, sometimes multiple times. Their sickle cell disease is managed by exchange tranfusion, iron overloaded as a result of that, on ridiculous amount of pain medications,multiple pain medication for that matter, avascular necrosis of shoulder, just yesterday, started complaining of hip pain, that i can bet is AVN of hip. Then of course functional asplenia, which can make them susceptible to bacterial infection. Sickle cell disease makes you hypercoagulable, so think of everything else that comes with that. It affects every system of the body, kidneys, lungs, joints, everything. It's not a freaking joke!
I walk into the room some mornings and this pt can't even talk to me because of the pain, forget about touching them to do an exam. They can't even bear the light touch of a stethoscope. I just feel so bad thinking about it. This is after 6 days of being in the hospital. I don't think it's fair that anyone should have to live like that especially for something that is so preventable. Back in the day, people didn't know. Now we know, why take that chance and sentence someone to a life of pain? It's not fair and it's such a selfish thing to do.
I don't think i had a clue about this disease until i managed this patient. I was clueless.This patient has to show up at the sickle cell clinic weekly and be closely followed. I kept asking my senior resident and attending...Is this a typical sickle cell patient? I wanted to believe that he was worse than normal because what i was seeing couldn't be what the average sickle cell patient went through. That's what i wanted to believe. But they all said, yeah! It's typical. What about my close friend who only has like 2 crisis a year? He probably doesn't have HbSS, might have HbSC or a higher percentage of normal RBC to sickled RBC. Hmmm....
I didn't really read the details of that post (although the gist of it seems to be taking a chance and going abroad to treat if he has a child with sickle cell) or subsequent comments, but i just felt the need to talk about this because it's something i have been affected by for the last week and to see someone make such an ignorant comment, i couldn't let that go, like i go a lot of the nonsense medical questions and advice i see on that blog.
Are the Sickle cell patients in America better managed than the ones in Nigeria? 100,000 million times, yes!!!! BUT that doesn't not take the suffering away or make it okay. It doesn't! No one should ever have to live like that especially if it's preventable. Our parents and grandparents had the excuse of ignorance. We don't have that excuse.
With that being said, two of my very close friends who are both AS, within the last couple of years have married AS partners. The first gave birth in Feb and the other one in Sept. They both did CVS. Of course, that means that abortion was an option for them. I'm just throwing it out there to let people know that they have options. The only other option i know to have a biological child if you are against abortion and don't want to take the chance you would have to have one is to do IVF and they can check the genotype before implantation, otherwise, you can marry and adopt a child or remain childless. It's not written anywhere that only people who want to have children should marry or every married couple should have a child.
*CVS is done in Nigeria too. Second couple did theirs in Nigeria. There might be other options. This is not my areas of expertise. Educate yourselves.
*America is not a magic place where everything is kisses and rainbows.
*I would also like to point out to anyone who thinks otherwise that there are A LOT of sickle cell kids in America. I am shocked at the amount of black people who do not know their genotype. All those baby mama/baby daddy things do you think they sit down to talk about genotypes? (Forgive me for this but it's the truth).
Better stop that rough play and rid yourself of ignorance. It's not cute.
Good night.
*I understand proper grammar rules but i did not want to reveal the gender of said patient, so forgive the use of they instead of he/she. I have no desire to violate HIPAA. That is the main reason why i don't talk about my experiences with patients. Too much of a hassle.
"The US is not like our backward Nigeria my dear. Everything works in that system. They research and make discoveries like no man's business. Managing Sickle cell shouldn't be a problem there at all. Their healthcare system is superb!!!"
This is the most ignorant statement i have ever read in my life
Really?!!!
No seriously, really?! So is "abroad" or US supposed to be this magical perfect place? People in Nigeria who think like that need to disabuse themselves of that notion. I'm irritated by it because the patient i JUST finished typing up the discharge summary has sickle cell disease. I just want to cry just thinking about it. Nobody should have to live like that all because their selfish parents decided to take a chance. My play cousin had sickle cell and passed away in 2007. If she wasn't in America, she would without a doubt have died at least 10 years earlier than she did but did that take her suffering away? NO!
If my patient wasn't in America and lived in Nigeria, I have no doubt in my mind that said pt would be dead. This is the first sickle cell patient i have managed and i was horrified (for lack of a better word). I remember my cousin always being in the hospital most of the time but i was a little kid and she left Nigeria a long time before we did. So even though i knew her's was bad, i can't say i have a first hand experience of it, except a few times my mom had to take her to the hospital writhing in pain.
Looking at this patient's hospital records, they have been admitted to the hospital every month this year, sometimes multiple times. Their sickle cell disease is managed by exchange tranfusion, iron overloaded as a result of that, on ridiculous amount of pain medications,multiple pain medication for that matter, avascular necrosis of shoulder, just yesterday, started complaining of hip pain, that i can bet is AVN of hip. Then of course functional asplenia, which can make them susceptible to bacterial infection. Sickle cell disease makes you hypercoagulable, so think of everything else that comes with that. It affects every system of the body, kidneys, lungs, joints, everything. It's not a freaking joke!
I walk into the room some mornings and this pt can't even talk to me because of the pain, forget about touching them to do an exam. They can't even bear the light touch of a stethoscope. I just feel so bad thinking about it. This is after 6 days of being in the hospital. I don't think it's fair that anyone should have to live like that especially for something that is so preventable. Back in the day, people didn't know. Now we know, why take that chance and sentence someone to a life of pain? It's not fair and it's such a selfish thing to do.
I don't think i had a clue about this disease until i managed this patient. I was clueless.This patient has to show up at the sickle cell clinic weekly and be closely followed. I kept asking my senior resident and attending...Is this a typical sickle cell patient? I wanted to believe that he was worse than normal because what i was seeing couldn't be what the average sickle cell patient went through. That's what i wanted to believe. But they all said, yeah! It's typical. What about my close friend who only has like 2 crisis a year? He probably doesn't have HbSS, might have HbSC or a higher percentage of normal RBC to sickled RBC. Hmmm....
I didn't really read the details of that post (although the gist of it seems to be taking a chance and going abroad to treat if he has a child with sickle cell) or subsequent comments, but i just felt the need to talk about this because it's something i have been affected by for the last week and to see someone make such an ignorant comment, i couldn't let that go, like i go a lot of the nonsense medical questions and advice i see on that blog.
Are the Sickle cell patients in America better managed than the ones in Nigeria? 100,000 million times, yes!!!! BUT that doesn't not take the suffering away or make it okay. It doesn't! No one should ever have to live like that especially if it's preventable. Our parents and grandparents had the excuse of ignorance. We don't have that excuse.
With that being said, two of my very close friends who are both AS, within the last couple of years have married AS partners. The first gave birth in Feb and the other one in Sept. They both did CVS. Of course, that means that abortion was an option for them. I'm just throwing it out there to let people know that they have options. The only other option i know to have a biological child if you are against abortion and don't want to take the chance you would have to have one is to do IVF and they can check the genotype before implantation, otherwise, you can marry and adopt a child or remain childless. It's not written anywhere that only people who want to have children should marry or every married couple should have a child.
*CVS is done in Nigeria too. Second couple did theirs in Nigeria. There might be other options. This is not my areas of expertise. Educate yourselves.
*America is not a magic place where everything is kisses and rainbows.
*I would also like to point out to anyone who thinks otherwise that there are A LOT of sickle cell kids in America. I am shocked at the amount of black people who do not know their genotype. All those baby mama/baby daddy things do you think they sit down to talk about genotypes? (Forgive me for this but it's the truth).
Better stop that rough play and rid yourself of ignorance. It's not cute.
Good night.
*I understand proper grammar rules but i did not want to reveal the gender of said patient, so forgive the use of they instead of he/she. I have no desire to violate HIPAA. That is the main reason why i don't talk about my experiences with patients. Too much of a hassle.
Monday, October 7, 2013
The devil wears Scrubs
I bought this book as soon as i found out it was released. Still haven't gotten past the first page. No time. Written by one of the doctor bloggers i read. Read if you want to get an idea of what intern year is like. Mikki i personally recommend this for you, then you can tell me about it. That's your homework.
Book description
Newly minted doctor Jane McGill is in hell.
Not literally, of course. But between her drug addict patients, sleepless nights on call, and battling wits with the sadistic yet charming Sexy Surgeon, Jane can’t imagine an afterlife much worse than her first month of medical internship at County Hospital.
And then there’s the devil herself: Jane’s senior resident Dr. Alyssa Morgan. When Alyssa becomes absolutely hell-bent on making her new interns pay tenfold for the deadly sin of incompetence, Jane starts to worry that she may not make it through the year with her soul or her sanity still intact.
The Devil Wears Scrubs
If you have a blog, facebook, twitter account, you can get a free kindle version of the book. Go to her blog to find out how.
Book description
Newly minted doctor Jane McGill is in hell.
Not literally, of course. But between her drug addict patients, sleepless nights on call, and battling wits with the sadistic yet charming Sexy Surgeon, Jane can’t imagine an afterlife much worse than her first month of medical internship at County Hospital.
And then there’s the devil herself: Jane’s senior resident Dr. Alyssa Morgan. When Alyssa becomes absolutely hell-bent on making her new interns pay tenfold for the deadly sin of incompetence, Jane starts to worry that she may not make it through the year with her soul or her sanity still intact.
The Devil Wears Scrubs
If you have a blog, facebook, twitter account, you can get a free kindle version of the book. Go to her blog to find out how.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Just Saying
Was on call today. Thankfully not overnight. I don't do overnight call until the 12th to the end of the month. This rotation is not for small children but i feel like i'm improving.
I think in the last week or so there has been multiple plane crashes (?). It's possible that there has been just one, because i haven't been paying close attention. I just glance through these news stories. Anyway, one thing has crossed my mind and stayed there which is.....
If someone dies and people are on their way to bury that person, then those people get in an accident and die, the original dead person is a blood sucking evil spirit.
I'm just saying.
*I miss the one who called me Princess. Continue to rest in peace.
I think in the last week or so there has been multiple plane crashes (?). It's possible that there has been just one, because i haven't been paying close attention. I just glance through these news stories. Anyway, one thing has crossed my mind and stayed there which is.....
If someone dies and people are on their way to bury that person, then those people get in an accident and die, the original dead person is a blood sucking evil spirit.
I'm just saying.
*I miss the one who called me Princess. Continue to rest in peace.
Friday, October 4, 2013
How to take special care of your MAN
I almost did not watch this video because I thot it was going to be serious.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Doctor RunAway
Hell - I don't know why people think that you have to die to go to hell. Hmm! Okay!!!!
I don't really talk much about med school here, do i? So let me share a little bit. I started my sub Internship in Medicine today. *deep breath* It's going to be a LONG month! I pretty much have to assume the role of an intern. No more piggy backing on the intern or senior resident. I see the patient and come up with the plan all on my own. Funny how my patient was a sickle cell patient. Even though i have never managed one, i thought i had it down. Story!
My senior took pity on me, or rather took pity on himself because by 630p, he told me i could go home to finish my note and he will sign out for me. I didn't wait to ask if he was sure. I still don't know 50% of what is going on right now with this patient. If it was just sickle cell pain crisis, it would have been good but no o! No! How did i end up here? My attending likes to pimp too.
Forget about packing lunch, it's lunch and dinner and maybe breakfast sef. Talk about a steep learning curve. I just have to learn to be more efficient plus beg my brain to work in the morning and pay attention when people talk. I haven't done inpatient medicine since last december and i haven't rotated at this hospital since June for Surgery. Today was hell! I actually teared up at one point cos i pended my note and for the life of me could not pull it up to edit it. It get going to a different place. It was already 6pm at this point and I was so tempted to pack my things and go home never to return. Like, just quit and be done with this whole medicine business.
I hate med school i swear and often wonder how i ended up here. I'm not even kidding. If i knew things were going to be like this, i would never have started. It's not worth the toll it has taken on my life and no, i'm not just having a bad day. It's wayyyyyyyyyyyy beyond that.
A sensible person would be asleep right now cos i have to wake up really early to get there on time and get my act together before rounds.
Mschewww
For any misguided person out there who is considering medicine, come here let me draw your ear....If you have something else that you are considering besides medicine and you are not sure which one to chose, CHOSE THE OTHER OPTION!!!!
I always wanted to be a doctor, since i was 6 freaking years old and i NEVER changed my mind. Tell me that's not a curse. Someone cursed me and i intend to find out who!
Maybe i should visit TB Joshua after all.
I don't really talk much about med school here, do i? So let me share a little bit. I started my sub Internship in Medicine today. *deep breath* It's going to be a LONG month! I pretty much have to assume the role of an intern. No more piggy backing on the intern or senior resident. I see the patient and come up with the plan all on my own. Funny how my patient was a sickle cell patient. Even though i have never managed one, i thought i had it down. Story!
My senior took pity on me, or rather took pity on himself because by 630p, he told me i could go home to finish my note and he will sign out for me. I didn't wait to ask if he was sure. I still don't know 50% of what is going on right now with this patient. If it was just sickle cell pain crisis, it would have been good but no o! No! How did i end up here? My attending likes to pimp too.
Forget about packing lunch, it's lunch and dinner and maybe breakfast sef. Talk about a steep learning curve. I just have to learn to be more efficient plus beg my brain to work in the morning and pay attention when people talk. I haven't done inpatient medicine since last december and i haven't rotated at this hospital since June for Surgery. Today was hell! I actually teared up at one point cos i pended my note and for the life of me could not pull it up to edit it. It get going to a different place. It was already 6pm at this point and I was so tempted to pack my things and go home never to return. Like, just quit and be done with this whole medicine business.
I hate med school i swear and often wonder how i ended up here. I'm not even kidding. If i knew things were going to be like this, i would never have started. It's not worth the toll it has taken on my life and no, i'm not just having a bad day. It's wayyyyyyyyyyyy beyond that.
A sensible person would be asleep right now cos i have to wake up really early to get there on time and get my act together before rounds.
Mschewww
For any misguided person out there who is considering medicine, come here let me draw your ear....If you have something else that you are considering besides medicine and you are not sure which one to chose, CHOSE THE OTHER OPTION!!!!
I always wanted to be a doctor, since i was 6 freaking years old and i NEVER changed my mind. Tell me that's not a curse. Someone cursed me and i intend to find out who!
Maybe i should visit TB Joshua after all.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
When Life Happens
I was going to do this yesterday as it was Sunday and i felt like it was a perfect day to uplift ourselves, but I got busy. So i'm going to do this right now, as i need to unwind. I'm into inspirational and motivational quotes because sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader and find ways to get through life with your sanity intact. Sometimes we just need to see things from a different perspective to get our mind right and when we can't do that by ourselves we might the help of good people to hold space for us and help us believe in ourselves and love us out of our crisis. Find and hold on to such people. True friends are rare. Believe me when i tell you that. Some people are only in your life because it's convenient for them. I don't believe that we lose friends, because our true friends always remain. The ones who leave are not meant to be there.
I'm going to share some of my favorite quotes from a book titled - Shit Happens so Get Over it.
I love to scour pinterest for inspiring and motivation quotes. I found some good ones you might like if you need a little dose of inspiration. I hope someone finds this helpful.
Shallom blogtherens :)
P.S Have your said your daily prayer for me? Did you forget all week is a fasting and prayer session for Sting? Oh, you didn't know? Well, now you know. Jim Iyke has gotten his deliverance, i'm next but it won't be at T.B. Joshua's church and definitely won't be from evil spirits or whatever demons (probably chairmen of arrogance) were possessing Jim.
I'm going to share some of my favorite quotes from a book titled - Shit Happens so Get Over it.
- If you are going through hell, keep going - Winston Churchill
- Stand up and walk out of your history - Phil McGraw
- Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we call - Confucius
- The trouble with the future is that it usually arrives before we are ready for it - Arnold H. Glasgow
- The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success - Paramahansa Yogananda
- Since the house is on fire, let us warm ourselves - Italian proverb
- I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once - Jennifer Yane
- The darkest hour has only 60 minutes - Morris Mandel
- When it is darkest, men see the stars - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Smooth sails do not make skilful sailors - African proverb
- The best way out if always through - Robert Frost
- Do what you can with what you have where you are - Theodore
I love to scour pinterest for inspiring and motivation quotes. I found some good ones you might like if you need a little dose of inspiration. I hope someone finds this helpful.
Shallom blogtherens :)
P.S Have your said your daily prayer for me? Did you forget all week is a fasting and prayer session for Sting? Oh, you didn't know? Well, now you know. Jim Iyke has gotten his deliverance, i'm next but it won't be at T.B. Joshua's church and definitely won't be from evil spirits or whatever demons (probably chairmen of arrogance) were possessing Jim.
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