Praying the Fat away

Lord, I want to thank you for this food, I'm about to eat

I give you all the glory for this delicious meal you have set before me

I thank you father

Now, as i consume this delicious mountain of oatmeal and spinach soup

I declare warfare on you sneaky idiots posing as cholesterol and calories

planning to add inches to my waist overnight

I give you Mike Tyson blow

I say die! 

I command you to die! 

I bind you, I cast you!

I demoralize your calorific powers

I request nutrition, and nutrition only from this mountain of oatmeal

Any confused portion of this food intending to pretend as if you don't understand my command

I bite your ear like Evander Holyfield

You must respond to my demand

Today, I declare warfare on you fat in my life 

I have been jumping in the gym for the past 4 and a half months, 

this useless fat no gree shift

Eating grass like goat in the name of salad without dressing and healthy eating

 Still, no hope

Today, na today. We go know who the boss is

I am breaking the yoke of fat today in my life. 

In the mighty name of Jesus

I command you to die by fire

I say die

I proclaim spiritual liposuction in all areas of concern 

from my belly, to my hips

all you demonic fat reducing my hustle

I say burn by fire right now

in the name of Jesus

Abeg, God understand my needs

I have attached some spinach inside this soup

I have downgraded from garri and pounded yam to oatmeal

All this poached egg business is disturbing my hustle

So try and meet me halfway 

please I beg you 

in the mighty name of Jesus

Amen!!

I almost died laughing. Who no go, no know! The struggle is real!!!! 

I almost miss Naija church. 

We know how to kabash sha!
I still think Nigerians are one of the funniest people on earth.
She went from kabashing to begging
was switching from english to pidgin
This is the funniest thing i have heard in a while.
I have given up on the weight loss struggle for now
that one is to be continued at a future undecided date
I have to pick my battles one at a time.