Residency

Sometimes I hate my program...............
My faculty advisor is on my permanent shit list from today. She has been on my shitlist since May, but today it became permanent. She's never getting off!!!
Sometimes I feel like i'm in KKK nation.
People call in sick all the time. I've only ever called in sick once when I had been sick throughout the weekend, it got to Monday and I couldn't not get out of bed or speak. Come to find out, 5 people called in sick that same day. It took me over 2 weeks to clear whatever infection that was which I know for sure I got from clinic, but I only missed one day of work.

I have had an exhausting month, been running on 3-4 hours of sleep a night, I've had to show up for work without taking a shower because I could barely drag myself out of bed. On Tuesday, I actually overslept and did not wake up until 0649 and I have to be at work at 0600. My intern chose that day to not show up aka call in sick and it was a shit show. That same Tuesday, I had to have a major dental procedure and go right back to work. I have been unable to take my pain medication because I have to work and it's a narcotic. The medication i'm taking to help with inflammation is making my stomach condition flare up. I am in so much pain and overall feel like shit!

I randomly look at my schedule this morning and see that i am on 24hr call tomorrow and I'm just like nooo! I can't physically keep going.  I call the program office and ask if i can switch calls. I know it's last minute but I have been dragging myself through this week hoping to recuperate this weekend.

Long story short, because i currently feel like shit and need to go home, my advisor calls me in the hospital and insists i make an appointment to get a doctor's note. Other residents have called in sick multiple days in a row and not once has anyone else been ask to provide a doctor's note. I know this for a fact.

More than anything else, it was her tone and choice of words which made it clear she did not believe me. Would I want to leave work in the middle of the day if I was faking? I haven't lost my mind yet.

Fuckers!

I can't Fux with you!

I have an annoying headache so I can't sleep and the floor is "quiet", so I figure this is a good time to blog. I've had a lot of interesting experiences that are blog worthy, but i've always been an in the moment kind of blogger. If stuff happens and I don't blog about it then, chances I will come back to it in the future are slim. For example, I never gave an update on my post about my encounter with the rude USPS clerk. Long story short, I got an apology email and was told he was reported to his immediate supervisor and the overall manager of that location. Case closed.

Is it wrong that I am giving anyone I know who could stomach voting for Trump a wide berth and side eyes? One of the residents who I would say has gone out of her way to be friends with me including inviting me to spend Christmas and Easter with her family is Republican. Fine, all well and good.After Trump won and I was going off  she said she voted for a third party republican. Okayyyy... The next day, we were arguing about Trump and racism when she said "my mom likes you and she voted for Trump". My initial response was yeah, your mom likes me and I don't think she's racist.

This lady has been very nice to me, welcoming me into her home. Her whole family has been very nice. She just baked me a huge ass pie for my birthday at the end of October. But when I walked away from that conversation which got worse the longer it lasted, including this chic telling me, they had to put up with Obama being president for the past 8 years and feeling the need to put Michelle down, when I talked about Melania even though i was trying to compare anyone, I was like hollup, hollup, hollup, something stinks and I smell closeted, subconscious racism.

I don't care how much you act like you like me, but if you can vote for a man who is against everything that I am, a black, female, immigrant, then I can't fux with you. I've always been a legal immigrant but I'm an immigrant nonetheless and this man is openly Xenophobic. I refuse to be the token black friend who you like. Mba! Keep it. How are you going to like me but can stand to vote for someone who is so openly racist. When I talked about my fear of increased overt racism, my so called friend said, It was happening under Obama, so what's going to be different? I was just like I can't deal with this bitch!

It's already fucking happening, dude! The day Trump won, 2 guys jumped out of a car and beat up this chic with a metal before grabbing her hijab and driving off. I have a very good friend from med school who wears a hijab and I'm worried about her.

I don't know o, but If i know you and you voted for Trump, I can't fux with you. You declared your myself my enemy when you decided to support that sorry excuse for a human being. I can't trust you. How can you not be repulsed by that man. How? How? How?! This is not even about politics, but as a human being, even W. Bush didn't vote for him. 53% of WHITE WOMEN vote for Trump! I'm done.

Today I got a text from her saying, I wish you were here, I can't stand these people (she was in clinic). I just look text comot eye. Who wan follow you dey do that one. Best believe I will never be going with her to her parents house. That's never happening again.

America, I hail thee. Wetin person no go see.

Do you still Blog?

Multiple people: Do you still blog?
Me: No.......Not really.




Life happened. I'm exhausted more than half the time. There's lots to talk about, but blogging has fallen to the bottom of my interests. I'm at work right now, waiting for 2 admissions to come up and I just feel blah! Unlike med school where we were contacted mostly by pagers, we use roam phones here. I'm always startled by the phone ringing which just makes my night more stressful. There have been nights where I wanted to fling the phone and smash it. I swear one night I was called at least 50 times. I wanted to scream! I hate nights! I never feel like myself on nights and it's more exhausting than days because I can never catch up on sleep.


I was working when the votes were being tallied and knew before it was called Trump was going to win. I felt sick to my stomach. Literally. I almost called in sick the next day. I'm surrounded by white people and there's no way to know who supports Trump. I just felt weird and almost paranoid and it's hard not to feel some kind of way about people who would vote a racist, sexist, xenophobic orangutan as president because you start to wonder if they share his sentiments.


It's funny how a day before the election, I had a patient who literally froze when I walked in the room tried to assist the Nurse in holding her up while she gave her her medication. She refused to take it with me in there, so the Nurse asked her if she would like her to get another Nurse.  I didn't think it had anything to do with race until we stepped outside and the nurse apologized to me about asking for my help because she did the same thing or in her words "freaked out" during the day when the black male resident went in to talk to her. I started laughing because I found it hilarious that she would be scared of me. Then the Nurse tried to understand that she's from a very small town where there are no black people (duh!) and still amused I said "I bet Black male resident was the first black person she ever saw". I don't know if that's true or not, but I was highly amused. This is 2016 for God sake. I'm not a freaking alien.




I'm not amused anymore because these are the same backward hicks who voted for Trump. Yet there many people including blacks who did not vote or voted for Harambe, the dead gorilla or some other unknown because they don't like Hillary or think their votes don't count.


People are fucking stupid!


It makes my skin crawl that Trump is going to be the President of the United States.
Racism is alive and well.
We are in for a treat.
America's very own version of Buhari's change.
What a mess!!!


#NotmyPresident


I had no intention to talking about this when I started this post. I'm choosing to stick my head in the sand for the next 4 years. What's going to happen, is going to happen. Not stressing myself about this shit. I did my part, I voted for Hillary. Anyone who did not vote or threw away their vote has nothing to say.


Goodbye!